Parent's responsibility
by The Sacred Pandapuff
Summary: Ed is kidnapped and tortured, Al is killed and Roy finds himself being forced to take care of the kid with no reason big enough to keep living. So, where is this all going? Can Roy be Ed's anchor to living? Parental!RoyEd
1. The echo in his mind

Yes, people. My new Parental!RoyEd fic. I don't know how long this will be, we'll see it when I feel like finishing. I hope you enjoy the first chapter and tell me if I should go on or go to hell without my computer so I can't go on with this fic anymore.

Edited: I corrected a few spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 1  
**__The echo in his mind_

It's been two days. Two days in this place. Two days filled with fear and pain. My clothes are covered with my own blood, some cuts still bleeding. My body hurts. I'm tied in a chair, feeling more than slightly uncomfortable and stiff. My automail leg and arm are gone.

The knife sinks in the flesh on my right shoulder. I force back a scream but can't help whimpering hoarsely. My eyes are closed as I'm trying to concentrate in anything else but this. Anything. But it won't work.

"Brother!" I hear a terrified scream from somewhere on my right. Alphonse. His armour has been ripped into pieces even before we got here, there's no way for him to come and help me. I would be willing to die here if I'd be able to get that blood seal far away from here. Somewhere where this maniac wouldn't be able to find it. He knows its weakness. And it scares me. And Al.

The room is normal every way, it's like a normal lounge, cream coloured walls, dark furniture. It would maybe look somehow nice if it wasn't all the blood on the walls and floor and closed curtains. I know that nobody can see us. Maybe hear faintly, but I don't think that those who hear our screams really believe in them. They might just think that it's their sick imagination.

Oh how I wish it would be. But it's not. This is very real. Too real.

"Shut up…" I hear the man in front of me whispering dangerously to my brother. God, Al, please believe him. Don't do anything stupid.

And my brother falls quiet, but I can still sense his fear and concern in the air. It's something that slowly strangles me, something that won't let me breathe freely. Like I would be able to do it anyway.

The man turns back to me and kicks me on my ribs. Hard. I hear a loud crack and try to catch air with my aching lungs, the pain running over my whole body and making a few tears fall on my thighs. My eyes are wide but my vision is blurry.

"Everything is your fault. Yours and your little brother's. And you must pay for it", he whispers in my ear and stands up. He walks somewhere in Al's direction and I try to free myself but with no avail. I can just watch as the man returns in front of me with a piece of armour with a blood seal, drawn with my own blood under circumstances I never want to return to.

"Please… please don't do anything to him…" I try to say, pain running through my body. "Take me… I'll do anything…"

"Brother, shut up!" I hear Al's yell cut the air and making my sensitive ears hurt. The man just grins evilly, his eyes have no glimpse of saneness. He's out of his mind and his holding my little brother in his hands.

"…Anything…" I try as the man kneels down and brings the metal just in front of my eyes.

"So this is the thing you care about the most? This is why you live, this is why you're still sane?" he says with comforting voice, but somehow I don't find it comforting at all. I find it threatening. "It must be horrible to see me wipe your brother out of this world, in your reach when you aren't able to do anything about it…" he says and runs his finger to wipe the blood seal away. I scream. I hear Al screaming as well. The voices echo in my mind as my brother's scream vanishes and half of the blood seal is gone. The grin on the man's face is almost maniac-like.

"No… NO!" I scream as my tears start falling. "AL! ALPHONSE! ALPHONSE!" The man hits me and forces a bloody rag in my mouth to quiet down my screams. He lays the piece with the remaining seal on my lap.

"I think it's enough for today. I'll see you again at morning, Mr Elric."

But I don't hear his words as the scream of my brother echoes in my mind. The physical pain is gone.

* * *

"Is there anything about the Elric brothers?" Colonel Roy Mustangs asked his crew as he stepped in his office that morning. The kids were supposed to arrive to Central four _days _ago and report. They had said so by themselves in the phone, but somehow they never showed up. Roy was worried. It wasn't like them to be that badly late, especially without calling to say that they were going to be late.

"Actually sir, a girl arrived about five minutes ago, she saw their disappearing announcement and says that she saw one of them four days ago in Central. She's in the room right next to this, turn to the left", Breda said. Hawkeye stood up.

"I'm coming with you, sir."

"Alright, first lieutenant. Just try not to interrupt me, I'm busy enough with paperwork and those two decide to evaporate in the thin air. I don't have time for this all…" he snarled and waited the lieutenant to reach him before closing the door and stepping into the room on his left.

A red haired girl, about 14 years old was sitting on the chair. She looked confused and tentative and held her purse tightly. She smiled briefly as they stepped in the room.

"Morning. I am Colonel Roy Mustang, and I heard that you've spotted Edward and Alphonse Elric about four days ago? What is your name?" He sat down towards the girl, Hawkeye standing right behind him.

"My name is Ellie Robin. I saw the little guy, that with golden hair and red coat. I never saw the another one, no suit of armour", she said trying to get courage.

It was unbelievable, the boys almost never split up. Roy raised his eyebrows. "No suit of armour? Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

"At what time, where and under what circumstances you saw Mr Elric?" Roy went on. He was sure that if they at least found Ed he would know where his brother was.

The girl straightened up and ran her hands through her hair. "It was… about five p.m., I was going to my dancing practise. It was on that area where there's those terraced houses, the yellow ones, about 20 minutes walking away from the centre of Central. There was this… guy, he was carrying this boy you're looking for, he seemed to be unconscious. Err… yeah, I asked if something was wrong and he just said that it was his son and he'd been drinking again and had passed out. Though I don't think I smelled any alcohol." She shrugged on hair chair. "God, how stupid I was. I believed that guy, I never thought… god, if I'd been any clever I'd announced about it to the police before."

"It's not your fault. Alright? Did you see in what house he dragged the boy in?"

The girl nodded. "Yes."

"Can you show it to us? Now?"

The girl nodded again. She was pale.

"Alright. Thank you very much, I'll just get my crew and we'll go. You won't be put in any kind of danger."

* * *

"This is the house", the girl said and pointed at the one in front of them. They heard no voices from it. Roy nodded to his team which started to get ready going in. Then he put his hands on the girl's shoulders.

"Thank you very much. You can go home now." The girl nodded and ran away. This was better not be a joke. Roy turned back to his crew. "Let's go in."

They picked the door open and stepped silently in, listening for the voices. They heard faint ones somewhere on their right. Roy led his crew in the direction.

"…it h…ts, doesn't it?" Roy heard bits of speaking. Then he heard a pained cry and gasp. He checked his cloves and stepped in ready to fire.

The sight in front of him almost froze him. Ed was tied in a chair, beaten up and covered with blood. There was a man kneeled down in front of him and that very man had a knife on Ed's exposed neck. His other hand pulled his head back from the braid.

"MOVE AWAY FROM THE BOY!" he bellowed furiously but the man just laughed.

"If you do anything this boy is going to hell where he deserves to be." He cut Ed's throat a little, not deathly but still. How dared he do that just in front of him!? Ed's eyes were cloudy, not really focusing in anything. For a brief moment they met Roy's eyes. The sight was almost frightening, the glimpse of life that always lingered in the boy's eyes was gone, they were just cloudy, dark and… death alike.

That was the time when the man made a mistake and his guard down in pleasure of seeing the fear in Roy's eyes. He had unconsciously lowered the knife and Hawkeye shot him in the leg. The man cried out of pain and grabbed his thigh as the officers pinned him down and Roy rushed to Edward.

The boy wasn't a pretty sight. He sat limply on the chair, cuts and bruises everywhere. Roy started opening the binds.

"GET A MEDICAL TEAM, RIGHT NOW!" he yelled. The binds didn't want open but Roy didn't want to burn them in case he would end up hurting Ed. He spotted and grabbed the knife the man had had several seconds ago and started cutting them. Finally he managed and the boy dropped on his arms.

"Edward? Edward do you hear me?" he asked as he laid the boy down on the floor, which seemed to be covered with blood and laid his hands gently on both sides of Ed's head. The boy flinched and slowly turned his gaze on him again. He didn't answer.

Roy slowly pulled him closer on his lap and brushed Ed's hair slowly. "OK, Edward, where's Alphonse?" The boy stiffed by the words and tears were brought into his already swollen eyes. Roy froze.

"Edward, where is Alphonse?" he repeated but the boy still didn't say anything. Roy's mind was blank, he knew the answer to his question but he didn't want to admit it to himself. "DAMN IT EDWARD, WHERE THE HECK IS YOUR BROTHER!?" Ed let out a small whimper before starting to sob uncontrollably and grabbing the front of Roy's shirt in his weak grip. Roy was just about to scream to him again but someone stopped him. Havoc put a hand on his shoulder.

"Chief… you seen this?" he lifted a small piece of metal from the floor next to Ed's chair.

In the piece there was only half of the blood seal left. He took it with shaking hands.

"No."

That was all he could say. He was just starting to realize that the cheerful kid's laugh and sometimes shy appearance was never going to be seen again. He gasped and looked in the crying boy in his lap. That was the time the medical team appeared and Ed was being dragged away from him and the suspect was being moved to the military's interrogation room.

* * *

"Sir-"

"Not now Hawkeye", Roy snarled back. They were sitting in the waiting room of Central's hospital. He, Hawkeye, Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman. Everyone was present when it came to the kid. Even Maes Hughes was on his way.

"I think we have to go through this now", she said determinately. Everyone looked in her, just to get something else in their minds than the kid's broken appearance and the half wiped away blood seal of his brother.

"What is it, Riza?" he asked burying his face in his hands.

"Edward's all alone right now. And somehow I don't think it's a good thing."

"Well, what else could you expect? What do you want me to do, find his father? You know that I've tried and it hasn't worked out. Nobody even knows if that guy's alive anymore."

"He'll try to do something stupid. I can sense it, he's just a kid and in situations like this he thinks like a kid. His whole family is gone, he has no one to rely on and I think Alphonse was pretty much one of the only things he kept living for. He still has all the guilt on his shoulders."

"Again lieutenant: what the heck do you want me to do? Those are things that I can hardly do anything, his family is gone and we all know that human transmutation is forbidden for a reason. It won't work. I'm not wasting my life because of it", Roy snarled, biting his lip.

"What I'm saying is that someone needs to take care of him. Someone needs to keep an eye on him all the time so he won't go and do something stupid like kill himself. And that's responsibility of an adult."

Roy turned to face her. "Are you trying to make me baby-sit him?"

Riza smiled warmly. "Good that you got it. And do it well."

Roy gasped. "You can't be serious. I can't deal with kids, I really, _really _can't. Someone else needs to take that job." He looked at his crew. "Any voluntary?"

The men backed away wide eyed. Roy blinked. "Come on, he's just a kid, he won't kill you." They backed even further away.

"Alright now, give me some good reasons why you can't take a fifteen-year old kid to live with you for a while!?" Roy bellowed. Everyone in the waiting room turned their gazes on them.

"I live in the dorms! No room!" Fuery stated quickly.

"Me too!" Falman, Havoc and Breda yelled.

Roy raised his eyebrows. "No you don't Breda." The man glowered him and snarled.

"…It was worth a try…" he muttered.

Roy sighed. "Alright, you two, why not?" he asked form Hawkeye and Breda.

"I hate kids. And that one drives me crazy, I don't think I'd be able to take care of him for more than two minutes", Breda snarled.

"I have Black Hayate, there's no room and I think it's your responsibility, Colonel", Riza said. "Since no one else can, you're going to take care of him. Don't try to avoid the responsibility, I trust in you." All the crew nodded. Roy stared at them.

"You can't expect me to take care of a… anguished teen!? What's wrong with you, I can't even keep a_ bird_ alive, how could I manage to do it with possibly suicidal teen!?"

"You'll manage. Just make sure he eats proper food twice a day and make sure he won't get any chances for suicide. That would probably be dragging him everywhere with you and keeping an eye on him, don't let him near any dangerous objects", Havoc said smirking. "Just try not to become suicidal yourself."

"You… you're crazy, I thought I had a smart crew but obviously I was wrong", Roy snarled. "I can't take care of a kid, I know nothing about kids."

That was the time Maes Hughes stepped in the room. Hawkeye smiled dangerously.

"But you have a friend who's going to be more than happy to change that." Roy paled and swallowed. No, this was not reality, no reality was this nightmarish…

* * *

About ten minutes later they were allowed to enter Ed's room. The kid had been drugged asleep, obviously he hadn't cooperated and they had finally managed to persuade him to drink a little 'water'. Ed was like a bird with broken wings in the hospital bed. Roy gulped as they stepped in. At least he didn't have to spend a lot of time in Maes' lecture about children… yet. Somehow he was sure that his friend wasn't even nearly finished yet.

He sat down in one of the three chairs there was in the room. Maes sat in the one next to him and the rest of the crew decided to just stand.

"Alright, Roy. When he wakes up you have to start getting to know him and letting him to know you. You have to build the bridge of understanding between you two-"

"Maes, what the hell are you talking about!? 'Bridge of understanding', yeah right!" Roy hissed to his friend, the others chuckling in the corner. Maes just smiled.

"That's one of the most important things! You have to be able to understand each others and it won't work if you know nothing of each others. You can like… start talking about what kind of weathers do you like-"

"What kind of weathers do I like? Are you crazy, that is so dumb! I bet you didn't ask Elysia what kind of weathers she likes when you first saw her!"

"Well, she was a baby! You have to get to know a teen-ager, there's a huge difference, Roy. I can borrow you a couple of books I've bought about teen-agers."

"Thank you, but no thank you. Work takes a lot of my time and if you put in there taking care of a kid I won't really have any free time and even if I do I won't waste it reading some books like those!" He snarled dangerously to his friend who still amazingly kept smiling.

"I'll get them to you tomorrow!"

"MAES!"

Ed whimpered and muttered something in his sleep, face filled with pain, exhaustion and fear, but they couldn't really catch the words. Maes pushed him closer to the kid and smiled.

"When he's having a nightmare, your job is to comfort him."

"Excuse me!? What am I even supposed to do?!" The other officers were having a hard time not to laugh to their Colonel who obviously knew nothing about children.

"Hug him! Whisper encouraging words in his hear, stroke his hair! Anything else you can come up with."

"WHAT!? You can't expect me to-!"

"Do it Colonel", Riza said and loaded her gun. Roy swallowed blushing furiously. He took a hesitant step closer to Ed and hugged him with a face filled with disgust. He couldn't believe he was actually doing it!

"Tighter, Roy." Maes said. He was enjoying being able to boss his friend around. It was really fun! He had always imagined Roy having a kid of his own but he hadn't really believed that it would someday really happen. Well, actually it didn't, at least so far, but this was so fun. Roy taking care of a kid! Aww! He quickly took his camera and took a picture as Roy tightened his grip, blushing more furiously than ever before.

"MAES!" he yelled as he heard the click and let go.

"Whaat?" Hughes said and put his camera away. "Come on Roy, you couldn't expect me not to take a photo? This is just so sweet!" The other officers ran away from the room. Roy could hear their laughing.

"I hate this. I HATE THIS."

"Congratulations, Roy! Your first succeed, the kid isn't whimpering anymore! This is going well!" Maes yelled happily. For a moment Roy just wanted to strangle him to death and disappear somewhere far away where nobody knew him.

* * *

So there was the first chapter. Any thoughts? I would love to hear them. Review! There's the funny little button, just push it. Make me happy!


	2. Conflicting moments

**AND NOW I HIT THE BUSY TIME OF MY HOLIDAY! SO DON'T WAIT ME TO UPDATE TOO QUICKLY!**

**Yes people, you read right. I got busy. My dad is coming to visit us for 4 days, I may get time to update or not, I am seriously not sure. But I can promise to try. And then soon I'm going to visit my friend for a week so... yup. Busy AGAIN. And then 17.7 I'm going to Spain where I probably can't update AT ALL. I am so sorry. But I promise to update always when I can. And when I get back from Spain you'll probably start hearing about me more.**

This. Is. CRAZY. Absolutely crazy. This story got 13 reviews, 9 favourites and 14 alerts just with the first chapter. Crazy... I don't even know where this is going yet. I just hope that I'm not going to disappoint you. Thank you so much!

Edited: I corrected some spelling mistakes I and the reviewers noticed.

**I don't own FMA.**

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 2  
**__Conflicting moments_

The hours passed and night arrived bringing exhaustion over the officers in the room where a golden haired young and promising alchemist was sleeping silently. The officers had been quiet for hours, each having a concerned and serious look on their face. Edward's bandages had started to turn red as his still open wounds bled even under the pressure the bandages were giving. Roy really pitied the boy. As did everyone else in the room. Hughes changed his position and sighed.

"You know… we're never going to see Alphonse again."

The words pierced through everyone's minds again and again, making them shiver and try to avoid even thinking about it. The two kids had been in the military for over three years now and they had became a part of their group, no matter that Alphonse wasn't even a part of the military and the boys were most of the time running all around the country. The boys had always come back. Always. And now… Now there was only one of them left.

"I just… I can't believe it", Fuery peeped in the corner. "It's just so weird."

Nobody answered though they all knew that they were all feeling the same way. Hands were trembling and they were trying to hide them from each others with no avail. The minutes passed again. Finally Riza yawned.

"It's late. I'm going home so I can be awake at work tomorrow. Night." She got up and walked out of the door. Hughes jumped up as well.

"I have to go home as well, Gracia must be worried and Elysia disappointed because her daddy didn't come home and say good night!" Everyone else started walking towards the door as well but Havoc pinned Roy against the wall.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked a little smile on his lips. Roy raised his eyebrows.

"Home. As everyone else."

"I don't think you are. You aren't going anywhere before Ed wakes up. He has to have someone waiting for him."

"You can't be serious-!"

"Oh yes I can. See you tomorrow, chief." He waved his hand.

And so the others left Roy alone in the room, boiling out of irritation. He took a few deep breaths and sat down again, studying the unmoving form in front of him. He sighed. So this was how his night was going to be. And those idiots even expected him to work tomorrow properly without any sleep! God damn it, he needed to sleep so he could be wide awake next day to question the maniac who had done all of this. He needed to do it.

He snarled as he tried to find a comfortable position in his chair with no avail. This couldn't be true, this wasn't happening. There was no way Al was gone, there was no way he was going to take care of a… _possibly suicidal Edward?_

Alright, now he was getting a little too ahead. No, Edward was only _possibly _suicidal. They hadn't confirmed it. He was kind of clueless for what Ed was going through now, he had always been the only child, he didn't know what it was like to have a brother. And those two's bond was unique, it was closer than any other companionship he had ever seen. It must be hard… yeah, the kid was possibly suicidal. No, he _was_ suicidal, no doubt about it. He had just lost more than he could've possibly lost any other way. Poor kid.

He felt a sudden urge to comfort Edward. God, what was this feeling? It felt like the one he had had when they had found him. It just felt so weird, so unlike him. It made him feel like he was someone else. Someone else who was supposed to take care of Ed.

God, was he actually _willing _to do it?! No, he couldn't be! There was no way he was going to take care of this… annoying, selfish, little kid! Little, literally! Tiny! Bad-tempered! Rude! And there were many other very negative things he could say about the kid! He was NOT, he repeated to himself, NOT going to take care of that kid. He was going to leave him dealing with his things alone, if he wanted to kill himself, then why not? If he didn't feel like living, who was Roy to force him to?

But no, he couldn't do that. He couldn't just sit and watch the kid shrivel away from him. Ugh, he hated this feeling. He was feeling really angry to himself for having it. For even thinking about all this stuff. He was really turning to someone else, and he didn't like. Not one bit. …OK, maybe a little. NO, HE WAS NOT. Ah, a tiny bit. Grrhgh!

This was not what he wanted from his life! How was he supposed to get a bunch of promotions and become the Fuhrer if he had to take care of a fifteen year old kid? Watch that kid's every step to make sure he wasn't going to make a suicide? This was too much. Too much. He wasn't ready to deal with this. But he had to… had to…

"…What are you doing in here?" a silent and hoarse snarl came from before him. Roy raised his head quickly to see sleepy and shady eyes piercing his own ones. It was like Ed just wanted to say something, not really caring about his answer. He didn't know how long the kid had been awake.

"Taking care of you", he muttered as an answer. After that he mentally slapped himself. Yes, he sounded like an idiot. 'Taking care of you', how pathetic. It wasn't like Ed cared. Which he didn't seem to.

"I'm in a hospital full of doctors, I think they've drugged me with enough medicines for you to add anything", came the cold answer. "Go to hell, Mustang."

Roy tried to take the kids hand but he pulled it away weakly. This wasn't going to be easy. It was much easier when he slept…

"I'm not talking about medicines Ed. There are some wounds that can't be healed with them."

"…Who are you, my new psychiatrist or something?" Ed asked furiously and tried to sit up but Roy forced him back. Edward punched his face. "Get your dirty hands away from me."

"Come on, Ed, cooperate a little. And I'm not your psychiatrist, though I think I'm going to get you one. What you're going through now is-" He got another hit of Ed's only remaining hand. He saw tears falling down Ed's deathly pale face. As he started speaking his voice was trembling uncontrollably.

"You… You know nothing… _nothing _about me and what I'm feeling! YOU KNOW NOTHING! YOU'RE JUST AN EMOTIONLESS BASTARD WHO LIKES TO MESS WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DEFEND THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF THE THINGS THEY'RE GOING THROUGH! DO NOT UNDERSTIMATE ME, FUCKING MUSTANG, I AM NOT LETTING YOU MESS WITH MY MIND!"

Roy was taken aback for the surprising amount of bellowing. He had no idea what Ed's logic was at the moment, maybe he was too messed up to think clearly, because he didn't feel like messing with Ed at all at the moment. He found himself getting extremely irritated by the crying teen's new attitude.

"Fullmetal, watch your attitude against your superior officer-!" he started furiously but was interrupted by Ed again.

"I'M SICK WITH YOU! I'M SICK WITH YOU AND THE MILITARY, I QUIT! NOW GO, I'M NOT YOUR SUBORTINATE ANYMORE SO YOU CAN JUST GO TO HELL INSTEAD OF TRYING TO ACT LIKE YOU CARE!" More tears were falling down Ed's cheeks. "He… He was… he was just in front of me, just in front of me and I- I- I couldn't do anything… I couldn't save my little brother who was just in front of my bloody face..! You know nothing what it's like so piss of already!"

Roy stood up and kicked the hospital bed's legs in front of him, making Ed cover his head and whine. His toes hurt. An he was sick of the kid's screaming.

"If it's so important to you, why not go and play god again losing a few limbs more?"

He didn't know what made him say those words, they just rushed out of his mouth and he regretted them right after he realised that he had said them. He looked at the trembling, wide eyed kid in pain in front of him. Ed's crying was increasing if it was even possible. "Ed, I'm sorry, I-"

"You… you know nothing what it's like… you haven't the truth, you know nothing about human transmutation. Al's soul has already crossed the gate, I should've done it soon after his disappearance but unfortunately I wasn't able… I don't want to try again and see my soulless brother die in front of me like my mother did… Go to hell. You know nothing about me. Nothing."

His voice hadn't been louder than a silent whisper, barely to be heard and it struck Roy hard. Of course that was the way things were. Otherwise Ed would've tried to do it immediately after he was released from his bounds, even in a state of shock. He felt really bad for even bringing the subject up.

"Ed, I'm sorry. I really am, you're right, I'm an idiot, I-"

"Just go. Just go and leave me alone. You shouldn't have saved me in the first place. There's nothing for me to live for anymore. I just want to die and rest eternally. Rest without thinking about my life." Ed turned away from him and Roy saw his body trembling and heard a few sobs. He didn't know what to do. So he just walked out of the room and headed home.

He managed to walk out of the hospital before starting to regret. No, he was not giving up yet! He turned and walked back in to Ed's room where the kid was trying to stand up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" he yelled and forced the fighting teen back to bed.

"What are you doing back here? I thought I told you to go away!" Ed screamed when Roy pulled the blankets on him again.

"I came back because I'm not giving up with you yet! Deal with it. And what the heck were you thinking while trying to stand, especially while having only one leg, you could've strained your body too much, all the wounds would've opened! You could've bled to death, you idiot!"

"Maybe that was my plan, you idiot!" Ed hissed dangerously, an insane look in his eyes. Roy just stared at him. God, what would've happened if he hadn't gotten back? He shrugged and hugged Ed who froze.

"Wh… What the heck do you think you're doing!? You sick bastard, let go of me-!"

"Don't act like you don't like it."

"…I don't!"

"You do. You like to be held by an adult, don't you? You like to be comforted-"

"YOU'RE IMAGING THINGS, YOU SICK BASTARD!" Ed screamed and struggled to get away but Roy tightened his grip, rocking gently back and forth. He felt like an idiot, but also it felt… good. It felt good. Ed was slowly relaxing in his arms before understanding what he was doing and starting to struggle again.

"Let… Let go of me! Let go! Don't touch me!"

"Shhh, It's OK. It's OK."

"No… no, it isn't! It's not OK, let go of me!"

He tightened his grip for a while before letting go. Ed's eyes were wide from shock as he tried to get further away from him. Roy sat down to the chair next to the bed again and felt suddenly awkward.

"Err… what kind of weather's do you like?" he asked, mentally slapping himself again. God, he was going to kill Maes! Implanting that pathetic question in his mind! What had he been thinking? Ed blinked a few times, even more confused.

"…You're pathetic. You're pathetic and weird. You're insane."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Because there isn't much to answer. I'm not wasting my time to answer to a question like that."

"Why not? There's nothing better for you to do."

"Oh, there is. I can sleep and hope that the doctors give me some wrong medicine and cause my death."

"Now that's what I call pathetic, Edward." Roy felt like laughing but somehow today wasn't a day to laugh. Especially in front of Ed. He didn't want to give wrong impression.

"Then I'm pathetic. Go to hell Mustang so I can try to put my plan on work and hope for the best." Ed turned away from him again, burying his head in his pillow. Roy smiled sadly.

"You act like a little kid", he stated.

Ed grunted angrily. "No. I act like a teen-ager who's gotten sick with his life after loosing every single reason to keep living."

"You can always find a new reason."

"It won't be big enough. Just go away and let me try to sleep away so I'll never have to see that ugly face of yours again."

Roy was offended to say at least. 'Ugly face', eh? The women in this city loved his face and this kid with rounded childish face called it ugly? No way! The kid had no idea what an ugly face was! Roy's face was a good example for 'handsome face' or 'charming face'. But he decided to keep his mouth shut for even once.

"Well, you're going to need new limbs. How can I contact your mechanic?"

Ed froze and paled so much that Roy hadn't ever seen anything whiter. The kid shivered.

"I don't want new limbs. Do not contact my mechanic."

Roy was stunned. How could an innocent question cause so bad reaction? "Of course you need new limbs. And if you're not going to tell me your mechanic's name, I'm going to find out about it another way."

"Leave me alone and don't say a word to my mechanic! I don't want to go through it! Let me die first, then contact her!"

"What is your problem, Edward? She's just a mechanic-"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING GET MY POINT!? DO NOT CONTACT HER BEFORE I'M DEAD!"

"Fine, I'm going to find her identity another way then. I am getting you new limbs, whether you like it or not."

"She… she isn't just a mechanic", Ed whispered. Roy raised his eyebrows. "She… she's a childhood friend. She'll kill me when she hears about Al, she'll cry, I don't want to see it. I don't want to hear it. Just don't contact her. Please."

Roy sighed. "Edward, you can't keep running away. You have to face things, you have to get new limbs to help you fight against this cold and cruel world."

"I'm not able to do anything without him. He was the reason I did all I did, he was the one who supported me. I don't have anyone anymore. I have no one. He's gone. He's fucking gone. He isn't coming back… ever…" Ed started to cry again. God, Roy hated kids that were this… weak! This pathetic, this vulnerable, this… This kid needed protection. And help. And fast.

"I'm here. The other officers are here. We are here to help you. And I'm sure that that mechanic of yours is here for you too. You're not alone. Alphonse wasn't all you got, even if it may've looked like it", he whispered and stroke Ed's hair out of reflex. Ed pulled his hand away again.

"How many times I have to tell you not to touch me!?" Ed snarled angrily. "And I already quit the military. And I'm not coming back. I don't know where my watch is, you probably already have it."

"Why Ed? Why quit the military? What about the philosopher's stone, what about getting your limbs back?"

"…I never managed to get Al back to his body. I never did. I failed. I broke a promise. I don't deserve real limbs after that. Not after what happened to him."

And Roy knew that he couldn't argue about it. Edward had already made his decision and when he decided something, nobody was able to stop him.

"And I don't need limbs before dying."

Roy raised his head to see the glimpse of something far away from saneness in the boy's eyes again.

"I don't need limbs before managing to end this suffering."

God, there must be this one thing that he would be able to change even if Ed had decided to do it…

* * *

Uh oh. Well, good luck Roy. Good luck. 

Review!


	3. Motives and moodswings

I managed to update today! Yay! Though it comes later than usually. But I hope you forgive me! 

**I hate the fact that I killed Alphonse. He's pretty much my favourite character in the series... _and sorry for my spelling mistakes! To know why I have them check that part in my profile!_**

**And thanks for awesome reviewers. Hugs and cookies for all!**

Edited: corrected spelling mistakes again. ;)

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 3  
**__Motives and mood-swings_

After that Roy called to the military headquarters, without even thinking about how late it was and commanded two guards to look after Edward and make sure nothing bad happened to him or the guards were going to get a cruel punishment. It wasn't even half an hour later that he managed to leave the hospital safely for Edward's part who had been so pissed off for his decision that haven't said a word to him after his call. What a stubborn, stupid brat.

Roy opened his door, rubbing his eyes and stepped in his apartment. He looked briefly to the clock on the wall and realized that he had only about four hours to sleep before starting to get ready to work. He screamed in frustration and slammed to door shut. He fell on his bed without even changing to his pyjamas and fell asleep.

* * *

Yes. He should wake up. He should. DAMN IT HE DIDN'T WANT TO! Just five minutes more. OK… just five minutes… Ugh, no! Now! Lazy ass off the bed!

Roy stood up. It took all his will not to fall back to his warm and comfortable bed. But if he wanted to become the Fuhrer, his job was to make his job as well as he could. Which he usually didn't do. But that's why he had to be in work so much!

He took a cool shower, dressed up and made a sandwich to himself before heading to work. What was his job today? Well, signing papers as usual. Reading reports. Shouting to a few lazy workers for a little entertainment. And questioning the man who had murdered Alphonse and attacked Edward. Edward… he should call to the hospital and ask if everything was alright. Well, he could do that once he arrived to the headquarters.

He opened the door five minutes later and laid his handbag to the floor, taking a look at the papers on the table. Someone had destroyed a large amount of buildings in Rush Valley. Someone had left a nameless note to insult his work and laziness. He snapped his fingers and burned the paper. Alright, to the next one. Someone asking permission to some kind of idiotic test about chimeras. He should remember to bellow right at the writers face. On to the next one. What? Another insulting letter? He burned it as well. Good bye. Next one. A mission to someone. Next. WHAT!? ANOTHER INSULTING LETTER!? He snapped and burned it as well, quickly flipping through the papers, finding six more. He ripped them into pieces and threw out of the window.

Under the window Breda and Havoc were laughing silently, hearing the bellowing of their commander officer, seeing the ripped letters in the wind and smelling the ashes of the other ones. Just try to guess who had dared to put them in there…

"Colonel. The questioning is due to start in a few minutes. Are you coming?" Hawkeye asked as she stepped in the room, leaving another pile of papers on his table. Roy sighed.

"Yes. I'll go right now."

* * *

I woke up feeling tired and sad. For a moment I didn't even remember why I felt so bad before the memories came back. I could still hear Al's last desperate scream and feel his fear in my mind. My body trembled before I got everything under control again. I slowly opened my right eye to see if the guards were still present. And they were, judging by the glimpse of uniform I saw briefly. Damn it. I closed the eye before they realised that I was awake.

It's always been weird to have mood-swings as a teen-ager, but now their more hurting and confusing than ever before. For a while I might be frozen by the fear of the memory, then it's hard to breathe and I feel like breaking into pieces, then I want to kill that bastard, then I want to kill myself and then I feel like crying and god, what else!? I've never felt this weird and… bad in my life. I feel like a monster, I feel like it was my fault that all that happened. Somehow I know that there was nothing I could do about it but then another side of me starts blaming me again. And it's really, _really _fucking confusing. My head hurts because of this stupid thinking!

I want to die. Yes, I want to die, I want to leave all of this behind, enter the nothingness of the death, but I'm scared. If I wouldn't I might've tried to do it a lot more fiercely already but somehow the irreversible consequences frighten me. I know that once I achieve that goal there's no turning back. Not that I'd want to turn back. But it's just creepy. It's really creepy.

You never really think about death before it almost knocks you down. You might think that you do but you really don't. Seeing movies, reading books… all of that is just a fake. Death is unique, and the knowledge of what comes after it is unreachable for the living. Every single time it seemed like I was going to die in this place, in the hands of that merciless bastard, my mind went white. Not black, not full of flashes of my life. I didn't see the smiling face of mum or Al, it was just… white. No thoughts. Nothing. And then the pain what seemed to come like million years after it. And then I knew again that it wasn't over yet. That the suffering still existed.

The images are blurry. My past is blurry. The reality always burns my eyes when I open them. Everything is just… so clear. I can't remember the exact shade of my mother's hair, nor how Al's eyes shined when he smiled. I just want to cry again. I want to remember them. I'm supposed to do it, but somehow I can't. If Al would see me now he would scream at me… how could I forget? Maybe he does see me, maybe he is yelling to me right now, telling me that I'm an idiot, but I just can't hear it. Maybe. And maybe not.

A sob escapes my lips before I can force it back. I hear the guards' silent whispering end as their steps come closer to me. Damn it. Fucking Mustang with his fucking guards. I'm pissed off again. I hate it when people can't take care even of their own businesses, but then they have to try and mess up the other ones' as well! Damn it Mustang, next time I see you, you won't have any idea what happened to you before you wake up from a coma after 40 years. Hey, then he'd be about… 70 years old? Almost, yes. Njeh njeh, say goodbye to beautiful ladies.

"Edward? Are you alright?" one of the guards asked. I was shocked to find out how familiar the voice was and my eyes snapped open.

"Second lieutenant Maria Ross… I didn't know it was you…"

She smiled to him. "The guards changed about two hours ago. Denny's here too, he's just getting coffee. I heard what happened…" Her smiled vanished and changed to a sad and concerned look. I don't like people watching me like that so I just decided to bury my head in the pillow again.

"I'm sleepy", I stated. A lie, yes. I've never felt bad for lying, except for Al or mum, maybe sometimes even for Winry but otherwise it's always been easy. And now it's easier than ever.

I hear her sighing quietly and walking back to the other side of the room.

* * *

"Alright, Mister…" Roy took a look at the paper on his hand, "Derek Root. What the heck was your motive?" The man in front of him didn't look regretful. Actually he didn't look like he cared about anything. His eyes reminded him about Ed's eyes, though they weren't like them at all. Maybe it was the glance he was giving to him. The glance of suffering and lost reasons for living. Roy shrugged.

"It's that bloody bastard's fault my family is dead. He fucking caused their death. I'm never going to forgive him… that fucking kid", the man snarled dangerously. Roy blinked.

"I don't think Edward Elric has ever killed anyone so your information must be wrong."

"DON'T FUCKING MESS WITH ME! That kid caused the uprising of Lior which took the lives of my ex-wife and daughter! They… they were supposed to visit me at Christmas but your fucking subordinate went and killed them!" the man bellowed, making Roy's hair rise. Edward didn't even know about the upraising, he had taken care of it. And now he already had the relatives of the death after him.

"That is no reason at all. Mr Elric was trying to help; he didn't mean to cause any kind of uprising. He's completely innocent and you're after the wrong person."

The man tried to get up but other officers pushed him back to the chair. "I'M AFTER THE RIGHT PERSON! I ALREADY KILLED ONE OF THEM, THERE'S ONE MORE FOR ME TO GO!"

Roy was getting really angry. The man wasn't even trying to deny the fact he really had done all that. It wasn't like Roy had many evidences. Well, for Ed's part he had. But for Alphonse's death… there was no body, so like polices usually said, there was no crime. But there was still attacking and torturing a military officer, no matter if Edward quitted because during that time he was still a military officer. And now that the man had even admitted it, he could throw him into prison for several tens of years. Hopefully he could also keep him in there until the day he died.

Though he knew that Ed could never be able to forgive him if he would know that the man had gotten no punishment for what he'd done to Alphonse.

* * *

Later that evening Roy stepped in the hospital again. Ed was free to go, he had been for the whole day but Roy didn't allow him to leave the hospital alone. For a good reason.

"Evening, Ed", he said, slightly smiling when he stepped in and saw a very grumpy Ed lying in his bed and glowering to his new guards again.

"You again. Get the hell out of here", Ed snarled dangerously. Roy waved his finger to the boy who started to glower to him instead of to the guards.

"I'm going to get you out of here. Come on, here's the wheelchair-"

"I AM NOT GOING TO USE A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR AND I'M GOING NOWHERE WITH _YOU_!" Edward bellowed to him furiously. OK, again a tough one.

"Yes you are. If you won't sit in the wheelchair, I'm going to carry you." He winked to Ed who blushed. It made him look a few years younger.

"…Fine." Roy smiled as the answer reached his ears. Ed already had his usual clothing on, clean ones though. Not the bloody ones. The clothes dangled oddly for the parts where the missing limbs were supposed to be. Roy helped Ed to get in the chair. When Ed was sitting comfortably he put his left arm in a position where it would be if he would've had his right arm and crossed them on his chest. Funny sight. Roy chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?!"

Roy stopped quickly. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had… hiccups." He nodded furiously. It wasn't even a surprise that Ed didn't believe him at all but he decided to just let it go. Well… almost. Soon he regretted his decision and punched Roy in his stomach. It was a good hit considering he had to aim back.

"UGH-! L… Let's just go…" Roy muttered when he managed to get air in his lungs again. Ed wasn't smiling. Roy almost expected him to, but no. He guessed it wasn't the time yet.

"It's cold", Ed moaned when they stepped out. A freezing wind ran over them. Luckily Roy didn't live that far… they started heading to his home.

"Hey… aren't you going to drop me to military dorms?" Ed wondered. Roy sighed.

"No. You're going to live with me for now on."

"AND THE HELL I AM! I'm not going to live with some stinking, lazy bastard! I can take care of myself!"

"Maybe you could if you'd just be willing to do so", Roy snarled back.

Ed didn't answer. Not that he needed to.

* * *

"Here's your room", Roy said as he pushed Ed into a small room with blue walls. Ed snarled.

"Stop complaining. I know it's small but in that condition you won't be able to move in it a lot either."

"I'm not snarling for that. I'm snarling for _that_", Ed snarled a little louder, pointing at a little microphone in the table. His eyes were narrowed. "Are you spying me?"

Roy laid the kid on the bed, smiling slightly. "Someone has to take care of you. This way I'll hear everything in this room. I'm a light sleeper so I'll wake up if you start doing something stupid. The bed creaks when you get off of it so you can't do that without me knowing."

"Bastard!"

"I don't care about your opinion. I've made my choice and you aren't going to change that. Do you need help changing to your pyjamas?"

"I'm missing two limbs, not four! It isn't the first time so stop fussing around and go to hell. You'll hear me anyway."

Roy threw Ed's clothes to him and walked to the door.

"Are you hungry? Did they feed you?" he asked concernedly.

Ed's face showed pure hate towards him. "I'm not hungry, and if you mean that hospital crap, then yes. Get out already."

Roy rolled his eyes and stepped out of the room.

* * *

It's about midnight. Or at least I think so. I've lost my track of time. Not that I care.

Roy's _annoying_. He came to this room he gave me after every two minutes. EVERY two minutes. What the heck is wrong with that guy? It's not like I can do a lot in here when there's the microphone and he left absolutely nothing even a little dangerous in this room. He even took all the pencils away. He's paranoid, believe me. Luckily he went to sleep. To the room right on my left. I bet his bed is right on the other side of this wall. Stupid paranoid bastard. I just want to punch him.

Why does he even care? It's not like I'm his subordinate anymore. It's not like he can mess around with me anymore! I bet Riza made her do this, though I have no idea why he takes it so seriously. He's a real mystery for me. I just have to wait and hope he makes some tragic mistake for his part. Then I'd sleep better.

It's so sad to sleep and know that you're going to wake up again. I just want to sleep eternally. I want this all to just fade away. Not be able to wake up. But no, no and no! I'm going to kill that bastard! Not a bad thought, actually… Though I'm not sure if I'm able to do that. He must be 'the hero of Ishbal' for a reason. Cold hearted bastard. Murderer. Just like that guy. Just like the guy who… who… THE FUCKING GUY WHO KILLED AL! Mustang is just like him! It's not like he cares about me, he's doing this because he's forced to, I'm sure about it!

Or what if… what if he isn't? What if he really does care about me? Well poor him then. I don't like him at all and it's time for him to start realizing it too. I don't care about him. He's just on my way. He's on my way all the time, thinking he can make all the decisions for me. Well, he can't. Especially this one. This is my own choice, my _own_. And it always will be.

Al… Alphonse… Al! Why aren't you here? Why? Why did I go and ruin your life? All those years in the armour, it must've been horrible. You were able to live like that just because I promised to get your body back. Now… all those years you suffered… I can't believe they were for nothing. I never should've attached your soul to that armour, never ever. Then you would've been able to remember how it feels to walk barefoot on the summer grass, how it feels when the autumn winds make you shiver, how it feels to be hugged, to feel the warmness of the body that's holding you. I took it all away from you. You died… without remembering anything about it. Without remembering what it's like to sleep, to _breathe,_ to live. It's my entire fault. I'm so sorry Al.

Why!? You didn't deserve a life like that! You didn't! Why is it that you suffered even more than I did when I was the one who made bad things all the time! You were always so kind, like mum… why does the world take the kind ones away, leaving only the cold and cruel ones alive? It just doesn't make any sense… it's not fun. I hate the world, I hate the so called Equivalent exchange. There's no such thing as it. The ones on the top never sacrifice anything of equal value and the ones in the bottom sacrifice everything but still stay in the bottom.

I want mum. I want Al. I just want someone who cares about me, no matter how big of a disappointment I've always been, I want someone to tell it's OK. I want someone to hug me like that person loves me. I want someone to protect me.

But there's no such person for me.

I want to die and end it all so I don't have to freeze from the inside as well.

* * *

Roy Mustang couldn't sleep. What a surprise.

He didn't like the idea of another person inside his house. In another room. Women in same room were great company, but a suicidal teen in another room wasn't so pleasant.

Thank god for microphones! At least he could hear everything. Though it bothered him not to see anything. Too bad. He couldn't really help it. And if he'd put a camera in Ed's room the kid would probably be even angrier to him. He could really insult the kid's privacy that way. Not that he deserved privacy while being suicidal.

It was weird. He had always thought about Ed as 'Fullmetal', 'Edward', 'shrimp' or many other synonyms for the last world. But now he was… he was 'the kid', 'the teen' or 'Ed'. It was just so funny. So big change in his thoughts during only _two days_. Unbelievable. And the feelings as well. He couldn't quite sort them out yet, it was all so new. Maybe he should talk to Maes?

Yes. He should talk to Maes. He if anyone could help him, even if he had to be the most irritating helper in this situation. And maybe he could talk him round to ask if Glacier would be able to take care of Ed during his working hours. It wasn't possible to take him everywhere with him and it wasn't safe to leave him alone without any kind of guard for even a minute.

He heard a silent sob and looked at the speaker on his night table. He had no idea what Ed was going through now and he knew that he probably never would. It must've been horrible.

"_He… He was… he was just in front of me, just in front of me and I- I- I couldn't do anything… I couldn't save my little brother who was just in front of my bloody face..!__"_ Ed's words repeated themselves over and over again in his mind. His head hurt. The silent sobs, probably being hampered by a pillow weren't helping the situation at all.

Please, let it go over quickly. Please make Edward realize that it isn't time for him to die just yet.

He finally fell asleep while still being tormented by the depressed sobs coming from the speaker and the other side of the thin wall.

* * *

Review, be so nice. Pretty please? I know this chapter isn't that good, I'm feeling pretty tired.

I think I know how to end this. Trust me, you're going to KILL me for that. Now I just need the parts in the middle of the story... hehee.


	4. Apologies

Sorry it took so long to update! I started writing this yesterday but managed to finish it today so I couldn't post until now. I'm sorry if it's a little messy but that night in the middle really messed my mind. Sorry! Don't kill me!

Edited: mistakes corrected once again.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBLITY**

_**Chapter 4  
**__Apologies_

The next day when Roy woke up the first thing he noticed was that the sobs were gone, replaced by almost peaceful breathing of someone who apparently was asleep. Good, Ed had managed to sleep at least a little, though he had no idea how long. He stretched and got up, walking quietly in Ed's room.

Edward was sleeping on his stomach, the only remaining hand hugging his thick pillow where his head was buried. Considering by Ed's frown the dream he was having was everything else but a happy one. His face was pale and bandages surprisingly clean. Roy kneeled gently next to his bed and ran his hand on the boys face.

"Alright Ed, wake up. Get up, we need to get ready to my work."

The touch made Ed tremble furiously but did not wake him up. Roy sighed. This was just so irritating… why couldn't he just forget about it and let him sleep? Oh yeah, he couldn't leave the kid alone.

Roy shook Ed's shoulders, the kids head swaying limply, carefully not to touch his wounds, which wasn't so easily done.

"Get up!"

Ed's eyes opened with a look of fear and next thing Roy realised was that he was lying on the floor, holding his nose in pain. Edward gasped and scanned the room with his eyes, trembling slightly before remembering where he was. And then he saw Roy.

"D… Did I hit you? Are you OK?" he asked scared. Roy nodded but then his nose started bleeding badly and Ed gasped in horror. God, now he was even scaring the boy.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, god, I'm sorry!" Ed started to apologize, his eyes wide and dull. Roy got up and started heading to the bathroom.

"Where are you going? I said I was sorry, I-…" Edward kept yelling in his room. Roy was angry. Yes, he knew it was an accident, but most likely Ed had just broken his nose. What a _great _start for their first morning. Women didn't like broken noses. What if its shape would change to something hideous? He kicked the wall on his way and opened the bathroom door with his bloody hand. This wasn't over yet!

* * *

What did I just do!? Oh my god, I really didn't mean to, I just… damn it! Even though he is a bastard, I wouldn't have wanted to hit him! It was the nightmare… stupid nightmare!

I shivered as I wondered if Roy was mad at me. Well of course he would be. I would probably get beaten up. But was he alright? There had been so much blood. I could still see a little puddle of it on my floor and then a line out of it. What if I killed him? I tremble. I couldn't possibly have done that… or..?

I try to get on my foot and luckily I succeed. It isn't so easy to jump around on one foot, especially when I don't even have both of my hands to help me keep balance. I take support of the wall and start slowly jumping to the direction Roy went. I don't even know where everything is in this house! And with that thought I painfully fell over.

I cried out of pain and squeezed my eyes shut. Damn this pain… Damn all… I take a few breaths before getting up again and start to follow the blood line on the floor. Finally I reach an open door with a bloody knob.

"…Roy? Are you OK?" I ask again, looking hesitantly in. Roy had a bunch of bloody paper covering his nose. He looks at me angrily and the shivers run through my back again.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP?! SIT DOWN, DON'T MAKE THE SITUATION HARDER THAN IT ALREADY IS!" he yells. I froze.

It's not fun to be yelled like that, especially when you're worrying sick for that person at that moment. Excuse me? Me, worrying for that bastard? Shit, I've really lost my mind. Completely.

"SIT DOWN ON THE FLOOR EDWARD AND DON'T MOVE _AN INCH_!"

Tears are brought to my eyes. That bastard really understands nothing about me. But how could I even ask for it when even I don't understand myself anymore? I sit down on the floor, face towards the floor. My life has become a nightmare.

I just wish that Al could be here. I wish he would be here and help me deal with all of this.

But because of me it isn't really possible anymore.

* * *

Damn it, his nose hurt. Damn it, Ed couldn't stay in one place without doing anything dangerous for even one second. And damn it: he needed to get to work in an hour and if things were going this slowly, he wouldn't make it. Riza would shoot him.

He looked angrily at Ed who sat on the floor, head lowered down. He couldn't see his face because his hair was blocking Roy's view. He snarled and kneeled down next to him, feeling a little ashamed because of his yelling.

"I'm sorry, OK?" he said to the boy who didn't pay any attention. He tried to hug him, but Ed pushed him away. Like always. It wasn't going to be easy to get close to him. He fluffed Ed's hair, but the boy slapped his hand away. Roy managed to see a glimpse of his wet face. Wait, wet?

"Are you alright Ed?" he asked worryingly and grabbed the kid's hand. Ed tried to wiggle away but Roy pushed him determinedly against the floor so he couldn't crawl away and moved the hair away from his face and found Ed crying silently. He seemed angry, hurt and… lost.

Ah, yes. He shouldn't have yelled. He didn't know why he knew it now, he just did. He knew he had made Ed upset. He hadn't been fair. Roy sighed and hugged Ed. The kid tried to wiggle but while Roy holding his hand it wasn't easy for him to defend himself.

Roy got up and lifted Ed up bridal style. Ed snarled and almost hit him again, but seeing his nose made him stop. It was enough injuries for a day.

Roy laid Ed down on his bed and gave him his casual clothes before going to call Riza for a ride.

* * *

"Stop here."

"But sir-"

"Please, Hawkeye."

Roy stepped out of the car leaving Ed and Riza in. He walked to the nearest house's door and knocked. It took only a several seconds to open.

"Roy! What brings you here in this time?" Maes Hughes asked smiling. Roy smiled back but then his friend's face changed to a worried expression. "What happened to your nose? It's swollen."

"Ed…" Roy muttered as an answer. "Can you please ask Gracia to watch over him for this day? I'm at my limit right now."

Maes blinked a few times before nodding. He went back inside to get Gracia and told Roy to get Edward out of the car.

Ed was sulking when Roy opened the car door, after getting Ed's wheelchair from the rear container.

"You're kicking me out, just what I thought."

"No, Edward. I'm getting someone to look after you while I work", Roy answered and opened Ed's seat belt and lifted him to his wheelchair.

"I don't really care if you're kicking me out. But you could've chose someone else… I'm not in the mood of watching photos about a happy family."

"I am not kicking you out Edward. I'll pick you up at evening."

"Like the hell you will…" Ed muttered. Roy didn't want to fight about it anymore. Just let the boy see it then.

"Hello Edward", Gracia greeted him softly, not really getting any answer out of the boy. Roy sighed.

"It would be polite to answer", he pointed out. Ed snorted.

"And since when have I been polite?"

He couldn't really argue about it so he helped Maes and Gracia to get Ed in the house before going to work. He offered a ride for Maes but his work was due to start after several hours so he just asked him to visit him on his break for a talk.

* * *

I can't say I'm happy to be in this place.

"Hey Ed, have you seen this-"

"No, and I don't want to."

Let's just say that that wasn't the first time he did that. And Elysia stares at me and asks where did my leg and arm go. I said to her that a magical fairy took them. She really believed me… how pathetic.

"Roy's nose looked fabulous today", Hughes says gently looking at me. I know he wants an explanation tough I really don't want to talk about it.

"I just wonder what happened", he goes on. I sigh. I guess it can't be helped. Like I don't have headache already.

"He woke me up and I accidentally hit him. That's it."

"So how have you been doing lately?"

God, this is going to be an interrogation!

"Well what do you think", I snarl as an answer and take a better position on the couch. It's not soft. I don't find it comfortable.

Hughes looked at his watch. "I got to get to work. See you later, Ed!"

YES! HE'S GOING! YES!

"I'll be back at seven with Roy. See you then!"

No… not BOTH of them… That's going to be nightmarish..!

* * *

The door opened.

"You wanted to see me Roy", Maes Hughes said as he stepped in the office where was only his friend, signing a pile of papers. His nose had started to turn violet but he still managed to smile to his friend.

"Sit down Maes, you don't have to just stand there. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is it about Edward?" Maes asked teasingly as he sat on chair and rested his head on his hands which he put on Roy's table, careful not to knock papers to the floor.

"You're too smart for your own good", Roy snarled.

Maes gave him a wide smile. "Sounds like me. So what's the matter? The kid apparently broke your nose, were you fighting?"

"Yes and no. We've had arguments but he didn't break my nose during those. I happened to wake him up from a nightmare. No idea what it was about but it turned his self-defence instincts on."

"It might've been about that torture. Then I wouldn't be surprised at all. I thought he was lying when he told that he broke your nose after waking up from a nightmare..."

"Well he didn't lie. But Maes, I'm so lost! I do everything wrong, I lose my nerves and start yelling at him and… he cries Maes. I've never seen him crying before but now he cries all the time. Even at night. It's really frustrating."

Maes smiled at him sadly. "He's got through a lot lately and he just lost his brother, it's natural that he cries. You just have to be there and comfort him."

"But he doesn't let me! He pushes me away. He doesn't want me to touch him."

There was a long silence when Roy waited for his friend to answer. "…There can be many reasons for that. I can't tell exactly, I can just guess."

"Well what do you guess?"

"It might be because he's gotten tortured, after that someone not so familiar getting close to him might make him freak out because he's scared to get tortured again. Then again, it might be that his too stubborn to let anyone close to him and see his weak side. And then again he might want to die and doesn't let anyone near because he doesn't want to give himself a reason to stop trying to attempt a suicide or maybe he doesn't want to hurt anyone. Or many other reasons."

Roy stared. "Now that's complicated."

"Yes it is. You never know."

"…I don't want him to die Maes. I don't want him to die."

"Feeling reliant already? Now that's a surprise", Maes chuckled. Roy snapped.

"I AM NOT RELIANT OF A LITTLE KID, MAES!"

The man just kept chucking. "Oh, sure you aren't. Sure you aren't. He's just a piece of rubbish you aren't allowed to throw away."

Roy froze. No… Ed wasn't just a piece of rubbish he wasn't allowed to throw away. Even if he was forced to do so he couldn't do it. Was he really reliant of Edward?

"It's not a bad thing Roy."

"I am not reliant on him. I can't be and I am not."

"He means a lot to you", Maes teased, pushing his friend on the edge.

"No he doesn't! Stop that!"

"Poor boy, getting _you_ reliant on him…"

"STOP IT MAES!"

"If you don't care about him then I can take him. Elysia would love to have a brother."

"You're not taking him anywhere from me!" the words escaped from Roy's lips. He slammed his hand on his mouth after he said them. Damn it, he was busted. Maes was laughing right at his face.

"There you see it, Roy! You really do care about him!" Roy had no idea how Maes had managed to say it while laughing his head off. He fell off of his chair and continued laughing on the floor. Roy blushed.

"Stop it Maes! Now!"

"It's so funny, _you _of all people-"

"Can you cut it already?! Please!"

Maes stopped and sat back on his chair. "Please? Really Roy. Ed brings something out of you."

Roy was shaking. "No he doesn't. He gets on my nerves."

"Admit it Roy, you'll feel better. So how's Ed doing?"

"…Probably planning how to manage to make a suicide under my nose…"

"Aww… that's not good. Maybe being around my happy family will-"

"Make him feel worse, Maes. He isn't interested in a happy family now that his whole family is gone. He said so himself."

"But how can that be! Are you saying he isn't happy to see Elysia-?"

"No, he's probably pretty lonely and frustrated around your cute little princess of a happy daddy. His father was the first one who left him, I never hear him talking about him. Every time someone mentions him he seems… angry."

"Makes sense. But still-!"

"No Maes. It isn't good for him to hang around your family. But unfortunately I have no other place to put him in and I just can't take him around day and night without going crazy. I feel crazy even now and he has spent only one night in my apartment. It takes on my nerves to push him around in that wheelchair-"

"That can be helped. Why don't you call his mechanic?" Maes asked. Roy shook his head.

"He doesn't tell her name. All I know is that she's a female and a childhood friend."

"That means she's from Resembool. How many automail-mechanics do you think there is?"

Roy smiled. "That's right. I'll just have to make a few calls. There can't be many. I'll find her."

"That's the spirit I want to see!"

* * *

Thanks for my awesome reviewers!

**Review** so I can see your support!


	5. I love you too

At first: sorry, this chapter (and the others as well at times) have pretty much OOCness in them. My bad, bad habit. I promise to try to get rid of it. 

**Next update... OK, no idea when I'm going to pull that out. I'm going to my friend, I'll get back... sunday? I'm not sure if I get the time to update on monday, maybe. If I don't get other plans. And yes, it's now confirmed that I don't have internet in Spain. Too bad.**

Edited: OK people! I'm correcting all the chappies so far so... yup!

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 5  
**__I love you too_

"We're here", Maes Hughes yelled as he and Roy stepped in his home after work. Elysia ran to her daddy's arms and Gracia came smiling from the kitchen.

"Nice to see you home. Planning eating with us, Roy?" she asked politely. Roy shook his head.

"I've bothered you enough already. I'm just here to thank you and pick Ed up. Where is he anyway?" The boy was nowhere to be seen and it made Roy pretty worried.

"He fell asleep about half an hour ago, I put him in the bed. Poor boy looks exhausted."

"It must be his wounds, healing takes a lot of energy. But he's fine?"

"Yes, he's alright. You don't have to worry. He even said that he's not going to try anything stupid in here because he doesn't want Elysia or me to see it." She shook her head sadly. "But I can't help but to notice how depressed he is."

"I know. I'm going to get him a psychiatrist once I just get the time. But you better not mention it to him, I don't want him to find out about it just now because the reaction will most likely be… horrific. So he's upstairs?"

"Yes. Be careful while waking him up so you won't get a black eye as well. How's your nose?"

"…It's fine. Thanks." He rushed upstairs and opened the bedroom's door to find Ed sleeping. He kneeled down and carefully took the kid's hand on his own to prevent a new hit. He brushed Ed's cheek gently.

"OK, Ed, get up. Let's get out of here."

Ed whimpered something but didn't wake up. Roy sighed and shook him lightly. "Up. Now."

* * *

_He was in his home which was burning. He was sitting in the corner in his own room upstairs, listening to the horrifying crashes __of the breaking house and burning flames. The smoke was dark and thick and the tears on his face quickly disappeared because of the heat._

"_OK, Ed, get up. Let's get out of here."_

Roy…

_He__ shook his head. "No. They're dead. I want to die too. I want to die."_

"_Up. Now."_

_He felt Roy grabbing him and he screamed. His whole body ached._

"_I'm not coming. Don't try to save me, save yourself. Get out."_

_There wasn't an answer. Not anything he could hear, or if there was the sound of the burning house didn't let him hear them. Instead there was a soft hug._

"…_Let go of me."_

"_Wake up Edward."_

"_What?"_

_  
"Now. Wake up, let's get out of this house."_

"…_I don't know what you're talking about. I want to stay… I want to go to Al… and mum…"_

_Something was pulling him down… down…_

"Are you up? At last, I thought I'd have to spend the rest of the evening waking you."

"Hmmph?" He opened his eyes and saw Roy holding his hand. "Let go of me, bastard", he grunted and tried to get away. Roy didn't let go put helped him to sit.

"You OK? You were whimpering something", Roy asked worriedly.

"None of your business. Ow!" He shut his eyes in pain as Roy accidentally managed to slap his broken ribs.

"I'm so sorry! Are you OK?" Roy asked and laid him down again, ignoring his complaints.

"I'm fine! It's nothing I can't manage. Stop acting like that, it's really irritating!"

"You better get used to it. I'm going to get you some painkillers."

"I am _not _eating any stupid painkillers! Help me up! I can't do it with only one arm and leg!"

Roy stood up. "I'll be right back."

"DO NOT IGNORE ME! EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY THINK THAT I'M THAT SMALL THAT MY VOICE IS NOT EVEN HEARABLE, IT IS! I'M RIGHT HERE AND I WANT TO GET UP, NOW!"

"Stop yelling, you're straining your body", were Roy's last words before exiting the room. Ed started bellowing from the top of his lungs.

"IF YOU'RE IGNORING ME THEN I'M IGNORING YOU AS WELL, YOU SHITTY BASTARD!"

"_Do not talk like that when there's a three year old girl in the house!_" Roy's voice echoed in the stairs. Ed paid no attention.

"GET BACK HERE! NOW! ROYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Maes and Gracia were waiting for Roy on the bottom of the stairs. Maes raised his eyebrows.

"What the hell is that bellowing for?"

"He's just grumpy. He'll get over it. Do you have any painkillers?"

"I'll get you some. You can you back upstairs and try to calm him down", Gracia said as a murderous bellowing still echoed from the walls and almost made them deaf. Elysia ran to Maes.

"Daddy, is it big brother who's screaming?"

Roy and Maes blinked both. Then Maes gave his daughter a smile. "Yes, it's him. But he's not your brother, more like a… erm… cousin? Not a real one of course but sort of…"

"Oh. Do you think he'd stop if I give him a teddy? I don't think he'd like my fairy toys because of that evil one who took his limbs-"

"What?" Roy asked. Maes just shook his head.

"Roy, make the boy calm down, my ears are hurting. And Elysia, you don't have to give him anything, Uncle Roy can handle it… at least I hope so…"

"What's the talk about fairies?"

"Up, Roy! Now!"

"OK, OK…" Roy muttered as he headed back to Ed's room.

"Jesus, Ed, stop that screaming!" Ed shut his mouth. His face was red and filled with exhaustion.

"Are you helping me up or not?" Roy rolled his eyes and helped the teen to sit up. "I didn't know you were religious", Ed pointed out and Roy accidentally dropped him back.

"What? I'm not religious!"

"WHY DID YOU DROP ME!?"

"Sorry! But I'm not religious-"

"It has nothing to do with this! It's a unique moment, I'm letting you help me get up and you babble about being religious or not! You have no manners at all! Didn't your mum ever teach them to you?"

Roy helped Ed up again. Once the kid was sitting steadily he pushed Roy away.

"I hate you", he hissed with narrowed eyes. Roy smiled widely.

"I love you too, Ed. You're just like a son to me." The kid tried to punch him but he backed away quickly. "What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with _you_? Stop being an idiot for once! I hate you, I really do!"

"That's what you think."

"No, that's what I _feel_. You better accept it."

"Whatever you say, Edward. Whatever you say."

"You aren't taking me seriously at all! Why can't you think that I can think for myself?"

"Maybe because you keep denying your true feelings. You think you want to die but you really don't. You think you hate me but you really don't. You think your life is over but you still know that there's a lot of it left for you."

Ed's hand coiled to a shaking fist. Roy decided it was better to stay out of the way for a while.

"You shut up, Mustang. Keep your bloody mouth shut and stop talking like you know everything", Ed snarled angrily.

"Why don't you face the facts Ed? Why don't you stop refusing to believe in them, why don't you give another chance for life?"

"Because it doesn't deserve another chance. My life's been ruined since I was a kid. It's been kicking me, it's been torturing me. I can't think any good thing in a life. It's just a stinking mess like you."

"If you compare life to me, I guess I've gotten closer to you than I thought. Come on, let's go home and discuss things further."

"I have no home."

"Well, let's go to my place if you want to put it that way."

"…Fine."

"Everything alright in here?" Gracia asked as she stepped in with a glass of water and a painkiller. Ed shrugged.

"I'm not taking it, I don't need it. I don't feel pain anymore, thanks."

"Edward", Roy growled. Ed looked at him angrily.

"I'm not taking it", he repeated determinately. Roy smiled evilly.

"I'm starting to change your decisions from now on Ed if they don't please me."

"Try", Ed hissed back. Gracia laid the pill and glass on the table. Roy took the pill in his hand.

"Alright. And I'll succeed. You aren't a big fighter with a broken body, aren't you?" Ed gulped. "If nothing else helps, then I'm just going to give you enough pain to scream and this pill will be in your throat faster than you can say 'unfair!'"

"You wouldn't do that."

"Try me Ed or take it voluntarily."

"I hate you. I really, _really_ hate you."

Roy smirked. "I knew you loved me Ed, but this much? I'm honoured. I'm really, _really_ honoured. So which way do you take it?"

"I don't take it, bastard!"

"The hard way then." Roy pinned Ed in the bed as the boy screamed and tried to find his mouth to force the pill in. When Ed noticed this he quickly shut his mouth and started kicking and punching him fiercely. Damn it hurt. He sat on the boy's leg and used his other hand to pin the kid's arm down and with the other one he forced the pill down Ed's throat. The boy gagged but Roy didn't let him open his mouth. He removed the other hand from the kid's arm and started rubbing Ed's throat gently. Ed wiggled but Roy didn't stop until he swallowed the pill. After that he jumped out of the way while Ed was forcing air in his lungs. Gracia had been standing and looking the scene shocked and Maes had arrived to the doorway. At this point he was chuckling and shaking his lowered head.

"There you go Ed. It wasn't that bad as you see."

Ed didn't answer. He tried to get up but his arm always collapsed under his weight. Roy tried to come and help him but Ed kicked him away.

"If you don't want more broken bones I suggest you to stay far away from me", he hissed. Maes went to help him up.

"You want a piggyback ride downstairs?" he chuckled. Ed replied with a fist on his chin. "I take that as a yes. You're aggressive today, you sure know that?"

Ed growled angrily as Maes lifted him up on his back and carried him downstairs and out of the door before helping him to sit down in his wheelchair.

"Have a nice evening Ed."

"Like I could have one with that bastard."

"Don't underestimate him. He's a nice guy, he'll take care of you."

"He may can take care of women, let's say, but he's totally clueless what to do with me." Maes raised his shoulders as Roy stepped out as well.

"Thank you Gracia, I really appreciated your help."

"Anytime Roy. You can bring him here every time you need someone to take care of him."

"I'll keep that in mind. Ready to go, Ed?"

"Mhhnmh."

"I take that as a yes. Well, see you tomorrow Maes."

"See you! Hey Roy, did I already show you this cute picture of-"

Roy started walking away quickly. "Some other time, Maes!"

"OK! That's a promise then!" he yelled happily and closed the door. Roy sighed and kept pulling Ed on his wheelchair.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

Silence.

"Are you alright?"

"No."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Do you want-"

"NO."

"I didn't even finish!"

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING, CAN WE JUST GET TO YOUR APARTMENT AND GO TO SLEEP!?"

"Are you hungry?"

"No! I am not hungry!" Ed's stomach let out a loud voice and the teen blushed. "…I'm not eating."

"Do you want to eat out or just order something in my apartment?"

"I'm not in a mood for eating."

"I won't let you starve to death, Edward. Pick one or I'm going to do so."

"…Fine. Let's pick something to take with us."

"…But I wanted to eat out…"

"Then why did you let me pick!?" Ed bellowed.

"Let's just pick something to take with us", Roy said quickly and headed to the nearest takeout food place.

* * *

It would be nice if you'd review. And thanks for everyone who have done it so far!


	6. Disagreements

**I AM BACK! Yay! Though there will still be the trip to Spain 17.7. I can't write in there because a friend is coming with me. And I couldn't post anyway because I won't be having internet in there. So stupid...**

But here's the update you've been waiting for. Thanks for awesome reviews, they always make me smile.

Edited: mistakes corrected, hope there are none but I'm not sure. There might still be.

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 6  
**__Disagreements_

"There you go Ed", Roy said cheerfully as he handed a packet of Chinese food to Ed who answered with an angry glare. Hadn't it been horrible enough to be seen with that bloody bastard pulling him in wheelchairs but Roy had went and flirted openly with the waiter. Flirted! And the woman had stared at him like he would've been a very unlucky _little_ boy! And Roy had of course just had to went and use _him _to charm the woman. 'Yes, I'm taking care of him', 'isn't he just so cute little boy?' and all like that. He had tried to scream how horrible he really was and beat Roy up but Roy's warning glare made him shut up and just spend the time sulking and listening lovesick adults' boring conversations. Roy was such a sick flirter.

"Come on, stop that. It's not nice."

"I am not nice so I guess it fits", he hissed and started eating. Roy sighed.

"Come on, the fact that I'm taking care of you doesn't mean I can't go out."

"Yes, but you just _had to _decide to keep the date _tonight _in _here_. Mr and Mrs Hughes are probably already asleep and I can't think of any other place where you could put me. Doesn't that mean that I have to stay here and… and listen to your god damn games with women!?" His face was growing red as he tried his best not to look at Roy who blinked.

"I didn't think about that…"

"Of course you didn't! And where do you plan doing… _it_!? You can't do it just the room next to mine-"

"Why?"

Ed glared at the bastard. He couldn't be serious! He took a few deep breaths.

"Do you think I want to hear it? Even thinking about it makes me feel like puking!"

Roy laughed. "You're so inexperienced with women."

Ed put his food on the table with a loud bang that made Roy jump slightly.

"Maybe I don't want to be a sick _fucker_ like you."

Roy's mouth dropped. _What did he just call him!?_

"EDWARD ELRIC, YOU ARE GROUNDED!" he bellowed furiously.

"FOR TELLING THE TRUTH?! WHY DON'T _YOU _START FACING THE FACTS AND SHOW ME SOME DAMN EXAMPLES!? I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING YOU TELL ME TO DO IF YOU DON'T DO IT YOURSELF!"

"To your room! Now!" Roy's face was red from anger boiling inside of him as he watched the damn screaming kid in front of him.

"FINE!" Ed stood up rocking on his only leg and started jumping away. Roy growled.

"Don't you strain yourself!" he yelled as he grabbed Ed who started wiggling in his arms.

"Didn't you just tell me to go to my room?!"

"I didn't tell you to strain yourself! And stop that wiggling!"

"And if I don't?" Ed growled dangerously. Roy slammed him hardly against the wall. Ed's whole body ached but he bit his lip and refused to cry out. He wasn't going to give Roy the satisfaction.

"What do you think Alphonse would say if he'd see you now, Edward?" Roy hissed cruelly. Ed's body started shaking as he felt boiling anger rising to his chest once again.

"Unfortunately he's not here so I'll never find out the answer", he said, surprised how calm his voice was. He felt like crying but he didn't. He couldn't. Roy slapped his cheek hard.

"You knew him well. Just think about it."

"Stop that. Stop that and just throw me in my room. Your date is going to be here in an half an hour."

"That means I have time." He pressed Ed tighter against the wall and Ed felt pain in his chest. Damn it…

"…Time to break me down. I see", he whispered and Roy froze.

"That is not what I'm planning. I'm planning to make you show some damn respect."

"Maybe that's your intention but it isn't quite working that way."

Roy looked in his eyes and snarled angrily.

"I don't know what to do with you! You're helpless!" he finally yelled and let Ed fall to the floor. Ed gasped and closed his eyes. Damn it, his wound opened. But… if he got rid of Roy before he noticed…?

"Just put me in my room and get ready to your date."

"Fine. I'll talk with you in the morning", Roy snarled as he grabbed Ed and started carrying him in his room. Ed was doing his best to keep the blood from his wound on his shoulder hidden. It wasn't easy with only one hand. Roy dropped him in his bed.

The soft bed. The silky sheets. This was too good place for him to die but he didn't have other options. If he'd try to get away Roy would be back quicker than he could even imagine. The door slammed shut. Ed looked at the wound on his shoulder.

Blood. Blood. Blood.

Blood really is thicker than water.

It's warm when it comes out of the body, leaving an empty and cold feeling.

It made him feel dirty.

And dizzy…

_There you go Roy… You caused this yourself. I wish I'd see your face._

_No… actually I don't._

_I don't want to see you anymore. I just want it all to end._

_I wish there'd been more for me but there isn't._

_There would've always been just me._

_No one to understand…_

_No one to help.

* * *

_Damn he felt guilty.

Why did he feel guilty? Ed had almost begged him to scream and beat him up. But still… Ed was just a kid. Maybe he was too hard.

Damn it when he couldn't deal with kids. How could it be so hard?! He sighed and grabbed the phone.

"Hey Michelle. I'm sorry but I have to cancel. Maybe some other day? OK? Alright, I'll call you again. I'm sorry I bothered you. Oh, nothing you should worry about. Yeah, I'll call you again. Bye."

Damn Ed, ruining his dates. He hadn't gone out for three days! THREE DAYS! It made him feel… he didn't know. Unsatisfied. Clean.

Hey, where did that come from? Clean? Why did he feel clean?

"_Maybe I don't want to be a sick _**fucker**_ like you."_

…Damn Ed for being right. Damn it. He had to apologize.

He knocked the door lightly while staring at his feet. He didn't usually apologize, it made him feel pathetic. But now he had to if he wanted to fix things.

No answer. Well, what else could he even have expected?

"Ed, you there? I'm coming in, whether you like it or not." He opened the door and froze.

Blood. Damn the blood, where did that come from!?

"Edward!? Ed, are you alright?" he gasped and ran next to the boy's limp body.

No… No! Damn it!

Pulse… faint but it was there. Breathing… also there. He ran back to the phone. He needed an ambulance, and he needed it quickly.

* * *

Warm…

Beeping voices.

Death couldn't be like this.

Ed opened his eyes and saw Roy's concerned face.

No. Death couldn't _definitely _be like this.

"Ed, thank god, you're awake. I was so worried…" Roy muttered sadly. Ed felt a little ashamed but didn't show it.

"You shit-head just had to go and get me to the hospital. You have no idea of my needs", he growled and blinked a few times to get his blurry vision a little sharper. Why didn't his plans ever work? He had been so sure that he had succeeded this time…

"Why Ed?"

He closed his eyes just to avoid Roy's intense glare. Damn that man for making him feel this small.

SMALL!? He surely didn't feel small! What was he even thinking?!

"Why do you want to scare me over and over again Ed?" Roy asked. His voice sounded miserable. Damn that man, honestly. Why couldn't he just get his way?!

"Stop caring about me. It's just going to hurt you."

"If I don't care about you, then who will?"

"…I don't know. But I don't want anyone to care about me, those people are just going to get hurt." He sniffed and tried to bury himself to the stupid white sheets.

"I'm going to get you to a therapist. You need it, Ed."

His eyes opened quickly and he gasped. Exactly _what_ did Roy just say?

"I'm not going Roy."

"Remember when I told you that I'm going to start changing your decisions if they don't please me? Now I'm changing it. You're going and there's nothing you can do about it. How long you'll be visiting the therapist is up to you. The nicer you are, the sooner you can stop it."

"You can't do that!" he yelled desperately. No, no, no, he wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to. Roy couldn't make him!

"I can. But I have to get to work tomorrow so I'll need sleep. I'll come tomorrow again."

"Roy, I'm not finished with you! You can't just go!"

Roy turned at the door and looked at the angry and desperate teen on the bed. "I'll go when I feel like going. The world isn't only you Ed."

"Please Roy! We can talk it over, I'm sure we can!"

"We can't. I don't know what to do with you anymore. I've never been good in these kinds of things but dealing with you starts to feel impossible. I'll be here to support you but I'm not sure if I can do anything else. I just can't."

"Fine", Ed whispered and snatched his sheets all over him. Roy sighed and opened the door.

As he closed the door a low snarl reached his ears. "You just always have to go and ruin everything."

Well, maybe it was true. Maybe. But maybe Ed would someday thank him for it. Or maybe not.

Why did things have to be this complicated?

* * *

Why Al wasn't here? Oh yes, he was dead.

Why couldn't he be dead too? Oh yes, Roy didn't let him die. That bastard just had to come and ruin everything.

Why there were guards again? Oh yes, Roy was paranoid when it came to him.

This wasn't what he wanted! Damn it! The only way to reach his goal this time was to kill Roy first which was pretty much impossible with one hand and leg missing! It would be still extremely hard with them, but then he'd at least have a chance.

Damn he didn't want to kill Roy.

Why? No idea. He just didn't. He didn't want Roy to get hurt any way but still managed to hurt the bastard all the time.

Why was _he_ feeling guilty? If someone should be guilty, it should be Roy. Roy started their fight and hurt him. Actually, Roy almost murdered him… It may have been considered as a murder or at least maltreatment if he'd died. Maybe it was considered maltreatment even now.

But with his rank Roy could easily get out of the problem.

Still. Damn this guilty feeling. His whole body ached enough without it. The guilt felt like strangling him. How did Roy manage to make Ed feel that? It had always been Al who made him feel that.

Al…

He just couldn't do it without him. Al was the reason he lived. Without him… When Al was gone, somehow Ed was too. One couldn't be without another. They had always been together, they had always been like… like a person. _A_ person. Not two. One.

And if the other half of them was gone, the other one was rotting.

He was rotting without Al.

Every day was worse, every day was more painful than the day before, every day was emptier than the day before. Things didn't work out without the better half of the two.

He felt… numb. His instincts were fading. Every time he remembered his missing limbs he remembered Al, every time he looked in the mirror he remembered Al.

But somehow the image was getting blurry.

Not only the image of the flesh Al, but also the armour.

What had it been like again? He couldn't remember every detail like he once did. Why?

Why did he feel so sad?

Why did he feel like half when he was really whole?

Why he couldn't survive without Al?

Al had always been there, he had always listened and even when he didn't talk Al managed to read him through his actions. He made him feel safe, happy and whole. It felt like home. The home they burned down.

All the photographs.

Maybe if he'd see a picture again he'd remember everything again? Auntie Pinako had them…

No, he was not going to even ask. They didn't even know that Al was gone. He hadn't told. They would kill him for that. That would be good, actually. But even if they'd kill him, he couldn't face them. If he'd see them, if he'd _tell_ them what happened it would make things final.

Then there'd be no chance to change it. Then it would be even realer than it was already.

He just couldn't cope with it.

Sometimes he told himself that Al was on holiday. Maybe in Resembool or some other beautiful place. It gave him hope. He was actually almost starting to believe in it.

Almost.

* * *

At last I got time to write a new chapter. Hope you didn't die waiting for it!

Well... I would appreciate if you'd review. As always.


	7. Hawk's eye

New update... yes! I've been working with this for hours. And it's hard considering that after my 5 day trip on a boat the room sometimes feels like it's... swinging. I'm glad you survived for those five days. Can't wait what happens with that month's drip on spain on 17.7! malicious smile But I'm planning to at least try to finish this story before it. I hope I'll manage but I'm not sure... 

**Thanks for reviewers!**

Edited: the spelling mistakes... I hope there aren't any anymore but... well, no idea if there still is.

**

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 7  
**__Hawk's eye_

"Morning", Roy muttered as he stepped in the office. The whole gang was there already, everyone buried in papers, phones and in Fuery's case some weird electronic items. He had no idea what they were, he had never been good in things like that. That's the reason he had Fuery.

"Morning Colonel. Your papers are on the desk", Hawkeye said and sipped her coffee. Why did all the officers eat their breakfast in the office? Was it too much to ask to wake up a little earlier and eat at home or at least out? All the papers got dirty. Except for Riza's papers, nobody knew how the woman managed to keep them shiny and clean.

The morning sunlight made the room shine with a slightly orange-golden shade. Damn the gold. Reminded him about Ed. He better keep his mouth shut or the other officers would kill him, no matter if he was Colonel. He had survived with Ed for _a day_ before the kid ended back in the hospital. Damn it. Was he really that bad? A day? It felt like million years. But it wasn't. It was one damn day.

"How's Edward?" Riza asked. Oh no, not that face. The warm and gentle smile told a whole different story than her eyes. Her eyes were burning and piercing him like saying "if anything has happened, you know what it means…" The fact that Hawkeye took her gun in her hand made the message even clearer.

He was _so_ dead.

He walked as normally as he could to his chair. "He's fine." He took moved a pile of papers to cover him up as naturally as possible. It was just his luck that Hawkeye seemed to notice all the signs.

She walked dangerously in front of his desk, every step booming with the contact with the floor. His final judgement was coming. Oh no, he didn't deserve this! Or did he? Damn, not with that now. He raised his head and faced Hawkeye. God, he was sweating! This couldn't go worse. All the officers were watching, some looking curious, some disappointed, some angry. And of course there were those like Fuery who were wondering if they should turn their heads to avoid seeing a very bloody and ferocious scene.

Hawkeye crossed her hands, the gun still present. Roy swallowed and started counting seconds to his death._ 10… 9… 8…_

"And where Edward actually is? I don't remember Hughes mentioning you bringing him to his place and he's not here either."

_7… 6… 5…_

"Oh, I got him another nurse. No, not nurse, I mean… a babysitter! A babysitter!" he giggled nervously, eyes completely wide. Fuery made his decision and turned his head. Falman followed the example. Havoc looked at him, saying silent good byes.

_4… 3…_

"And does this 'babysitter' happen to be in the hospital?" Riza's voice echoed in the room, piercing his head over and over again.

_2…_

He buried his face in his hands. This was it. Ed would be jealous.

"Yes."

_1…_

"DAMN IT WITH YOU ROY MUSTANG, YOU ARE HELPLESS!" Riza screamed and punched him with his gun. It hurt. But hey, she didn't shoot! Thank god! He was so lucky!

_Boom._

The bullet flew right over his head, making a hole in the wall behind him. Everyone in the room gasped in horror and Fuery and Falman were shaking.

"Can I go to the bathroom while someone cleans up the mess?" Fuery peeped.

"Don't worry Kain, there's no blood", Havoc said, somehow sounding a little disappointed. Wait, disappointed? That ungrateful rascal!

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE ROY?! YOU SHOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL!" Riza bellowed and grabbed Roy from his ear and started dragging him out of the office.

"But work-" he started desperately but Riza stopped him.

"Work can wait, kids can't. When your kid is in the hospital you usually get a day off", she snarled, dragging him out of the military building. Oh, how embarrassed Roy felt, everyone were staring at them and chuckling. Riza was sometimes one hell of a nightmare. HEY, WAIT! A day off? Yes! He should let Ed get in the hospital much more often!

"Colonel, I know that look, don't even think about it or you're going to get an eternal holiday."

OK, maybe not. It went much better when Ed wasn't in the hospital. And now all the damn citizens stared at them. He felt his face burning red. This was so pathetic, a 29 year old man being dragged from the ear by a younger woman. Riza would hear about this later…! Or now that he thought about it more, maybe she wouldn't.

His ear was starting to feel numb, except for the burning sensation. It felt like Riza was tearing it off, but he didn't get the courage to tell her to stop. He was scared of a _woman_. Oh, how pathetic he felt. Like he wasn't embarrassed enough already…

They stepped in the hospital building. Riza let her ear go but slapped his face so it turned so he faced her. No, not that scary face again. He was so screwed.

"So Roy, which room? Mind to show me the way?" she asked nicely. Though nobody in the room seemed to take it so nicely, but nobody voiced their opinions. Riza was scary enough without disagreeing with her. Roy shrugged.

"It's here…" he managed to mutter and started walking to the direction, Riza right behind him. He could feel her cold gun touching his back. He opened the door and found the guards playing with cards and Ed sleeping. The two men stood up immediately when he stepped in the room.

"Morning, sir, everything under control, sir!"

"Thank you. You are dismissed, go back to work", Riza said. Though Riza really had no power on the officers they quickly walked away without looking back. Maybe the face and voice would haunt their dreams for a few days, who knows?

"And now, Roy, I suggest you to take better care of him. He better stay alive and unharmed from now on, understood? Good. I'll see you at work once he gets out of this place and you'd better stay in here with him." She bowed slightly, not breaking the eye contact. Roy gulped and nodded with a nervous smile. Anything to stay away from her. She left. Roy could hear doors slamming on her way. He turned his glance to Ed.

"You damn kid got me in trouble once again…"

Though he felt a little irritated, that was all he could do. He couldn't really be angry for Ed. The kid looked so miserable and vulnerable asleep. He remembered once seeing Ed and Al waiting for a train and Ed sleeping with a peaceful expression on his face.

He hadn't seen that expression since then.

Ed gasped in horror and woke up. He immediately looked at Roy and his expression went from haunted to pure disgust. Roy didn't like to be looked like that but he knew that he deserved no better.

"You. I thought you needed to work", he snarled furiously. Roy smiled.

"Hawkeye gave me a day off since you're in the hospital."

Ed snorted. "Yeah, sounds right. You're always escaping from work when you just get the chance. Lazy bastard."

Roy sighed. "Alright, Ed, can we talk things over? I know you're angry."

Ed laughed coldly. "Wow, you actually know it? I thought you were that emotionless that you could never figure it out. And did it ever come to your mind that maybe I don't want to talk things over?"

"That's what you think."

"Stop that. It's annoying. Why do you have to play my psychiatrist if you're getting me one anyway?" Ed hissed with narrowed eyes. Roy almost gulped but stopped himself right before doing it. Sometimes Ed could be as scary as Riza, but if he'd show it to the kid, he could take advantage over him like Riza did.

"So you're still angry for me because of that."

"Of course I am! You're putting in the same room with someone who I know nothing about and who tries his or her best to make my mind so messed up that he or she can take advantage! Psychiatrists just break their patients' minds and their own free wills and manipulate them to think that they still have them and that the decisions are theirs! But guess what!? They are _not_. They ask annoying questions that drive people crazy!"

Roy clapped his hands to make Ed shut his mouth and give him a chance to speak as well. "You have totally wrong idea, psychiatrists help you face the things you block out-"

"I am not blocking things out, I am facing them! If I wouldn't, why do you think I'd want to die!?"

Roy went on like Ed had never interrupted him. "They help you to remember the good things in life-"

"Life has nothing good in it! Nothing!" Ed bellowed furiously. Had the kid ever heard that it was impolite to bellow in the hospital?

"That's what you think now, but if you start thinking about it and stop blocking out the good things-"

"STOP IT, MUSTANG! Just stop it, my head aches enough without you trying to play a psychiatrist! Just stay out of that way and keep up with your damn paperwork!"

Roy stopped and looked at Ed's eyes. The kid was just so stubborn. And he could voice his opinions extremely well, unlike him. He felt like fighting with a dictionary and a pile of psychology books. Damn the child prodigy.

"It's impossible to fight with you", he snarled and scratched his head. Ed's eyes widened.

"Does that mean that I won? That I don't have to go to the psychiatrist?" he asked happily. Roy smiled and Ed's happy face disappeared.

"No. You're going."

"Why!?" Ed whined desperately.

"Because you need it. No, don't even try that face. It won't work", Roy snarled when Ed made up a very miserable, sad, disappointed and hurt face with watery and big amber eyes. Damn the child prodigy. He was not going to break.

"Why, Roy?"

"Stop it Ed. Stop that right now."

"You're hurting my feelings, you're not answering my question."

"Stop it Ed! Now!"

A tear fell on Ed's face. What an actor he was! He could get a part in any film or series if he'd just want to get in. "But Roy…"

Roy threw his head back. "Damn it Ed! You're going and it's final, no puppy eyes, no tears and no innocent questions! You're going!"

Ed lowered his head. Damn the cuteness. He couldn't let the kid take control.

"Roy…"

"I said no questions!"

"It wasn't a question", the boy sniffed. Roy growled and squeezed his cheeks.

"You're impossible", he snarled loudly. Damn it Ed. Damn it.

Unfortunately Ed was everything else but finished. He had the whole day time to drive Roy crazy. "Roy, if you think of the best of me-"

"I'll get you that psychiatrist. Thanks for reminding me."

Ed took Roy's hand and smiled innocently. Roy growled angrily and took his hand away.

"Don't you even dare to try to sweet talk me, Edward!"

"But Roy…"

"No. If you'll excuse me, I have things to do", Roy said as he stood up. Ed smirked.

"I won't excuse you. I'm so sorry. Didn't Hawkeye tell you to spend the day with me?" Roy knew that lying wouldn't work. Ed wasn't dumb, not at all in fact. His eyes were challenging Roy to go. Roy smirked back.

"And are you going to be that pathetic to run to Hawkeye and tell that the evil Roy didn't stay with you? That's childish."

Ed's smirk widened. "Actually it isn't. It's like someone who's been robbed going to the police. It's a smart move, you have to use every way you can think of, because none of them are pathetic if they're worth achieving your goal. As a child running to mum or father is good education, even though some people like you who are just too dumb to realise anything think that it's pathetic."

Again:_ DAMN THE CHILD PRODIGY_!

"So you're telling to Hawkeye?" he asked angrily. Ed closed his eyes with a happy and malicious smile.

"Yes. I'm telling to Hawkeye."

"You look like an evil squirrel."

"I AM NOT AS SMALL AS A SQUIRREL!"

"Oh, you aren't? I thought…" Now it was Roy's turn to smile maliciously.

"DAMN YOU ROY MUSTANG, YOUR JUDGEMENT DAY IS CLOSER THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE!" Ed bellowed, his spit flying in Roy's face from where Roy wiped it off.

Roy shook his head tiredly. "And she says I have to spend the whole day with you. She has no idea how much energy it takes."

"Your own fault."

"It isn't my fault, it's yours! You stupid little-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE KID WHO KICKS ADULTS' FOOTS JUST TO MAKE THEM LOOK DOWN!"

"-kid with no respect! You could've just told me that your wound opened!"

"Maybe I didn't want to tell you!"

"That's your problem Ed! Your big, bad problem!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT EVERY LITTLE SAND GRAIN IN THE WAY IS A BIG, BAD PROBLEM!"

Roy sighed. "This isn't going anywhere."

"Your own fault", Ed sulked. "Damn I hate adults. They can do _nothing_."

"You'll be an adult some day."

"I seriously doubt that. I'm not going to live that long."

"I'll make you."

"Oh, sure you will. A day with me and I'm in the hospital. I can't even imagine what will happen during the possible _years_." Ed showed his tongue. Roy blushed.

"Go to hell Ed."

Ed scratched his chin. "Hell? I seriously doubt that it exists, but if it does, then most likely yes."

"You're obsessed with death!"

"What if I am? What are you going to do about it?"

The door opened and a nurse peeked in. "Colonel Mustang, you have a call from Lieutenant Colonel Hughes. And I have to check Mr. Elric's condition."

"Damn the nurses…" Ed muttered. Roy walked out of the room to the direction the nurse pointed to find the phone. When he found it he answered.

"Hey Maes."

"Heya Roy! I found a psychiatrist."

Roy smiled evilly. "Sounds great… so who is this psychiatrist?"

* * *

Poor Ed this time. His life is a nightmare.

Review, OK? I want reviews. I read them over and over again with a huge smile. And trust me, you want me to smile, not cry.


	8. Psychopathic psychiatrists

An update again. Yes! Sorry it took this long. And... nine reviews for the last chapter? Thank you. Thank you all. But I'd really appreciate to get more of them! Come on, it won't kill you to drop me a review.

Edited for spelling mistakes.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

* * *

**PARENT'S RESPOSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 8  
**__Psychopathic psychiatrists_

Ed got out of the hospital the next day for Roy's bad luck. Back to work… no way. At least he had managed to get to the psychiatrist during his work. He'd pick the boy up during lunch break and he'd have to spend the rest of the day in office. It sounded like a boring hell to Ed, as all of you can already imagine.

"But Roy-!" the kid whined and complained endlessly. Roy cursed and tried to keep a calm expression on his face instead of just losing his nerves and slapping the kid again. There was a nasty bruise from his last time in the apartment and Ed managed to make it appear everywhere and every time just for the sake of making Roy feel guilty. At least he was using his brains again which was a good thing.

Or would've been if he wouldn't use them to annoy Roy as much as possible.

"You are going Edward. And remember to be respectful, you don't want to know what would happen if you wouldn't. Stop sulking. You're not getting away from this."

Ed spat on the walkway. Roy's eye twitched in disgust. Teen-agers… were they really that wicked or was it just Ed?

"Who is this psycho anyway?" Ed snarled and drummed his thigh, head lazily resting on his left shoulder as he watched the busy morning of Central.

Roy smirked. "You've heard about him, and you've seen him. He can keep you under control."

Ed snorted disbelievingly. "Oh really? If I were you, I wouldn't be so confident about it."

"Oh, you have no idea who it could be. I bet that even if you'd keep guessing you would never guess right. It was a shock for me too."

Ed rubbed his eyes. "Wow. A shock for you, is that a good thing?"

"Depends how you take it", Roy said as he pushed Ed in the military building. Ed raised his eyebrows.

"I thought you were supposed to drop me to the psycho before going to work. Does that mean you were just kidding? You bastard!"

"Who said I wasn't going to drop you to him before going to work? You can't get away from this Ed. And I suggest you not to call him psycho, it can get you in troubles." Roy couldn't help but smirk evilly as he pushed Ed in the hallway. The kid had no idea what he had gotten himself into.

"…Roy. This hallway leads to the Führer." Ed's eyes widened. "…You got to be kidding."

"Apparently Maes had a meeting with the Führer. You can imagine what it would be like, Maes showing pictures of Elysia and babbling about everything except work. He managed to mention your condition as well and the Führer was glad to help. He's a nice person."

Ed shook his head furiously. "No. Roy, you can't do this to me. Cancel it. Get me out. Anyone but him. Please!"

Roy shook his head with a surprised face. "You asking. Wow, you used the word 'please'. You knew that the word existed, I was starting to wonder…"

"Reward me Roy! Not to the Führer!"

"Yes. We're here, shut up." Roy knocked the door. Ed paled as the Führer opened the door.

"Well, hello Colonel Mustang. Dropping young Mr. Elric by?" he said with a gentle smile. Somehow Ed never liked it, it was creepy. Like all the bad guys in the comics Al had been reading.

Roy bowed. "Yes. I really appreciate your help."

"Hahahahaa! It'll be fun, I'm glad to help! Get to work, I'll deal with him from now on", Führer said while patting Roy's shoulder. Roy started slowly regretting his decision.

"…Roy…!" Ed whimpered and grabbed his wristband. OK, he had to stand strong. Ed needed this.

"See you later Ed", he said and released Ed's grip. He bowed to the Führer once again and walked out of the room.

"ROOOYYY!" Ed screamed as the Führer closed the door.

* * *

"Nice to see you back in work, Colonel", Riza said when she stepped in Roy's office. He smiled briefly and continued reading the ten-page report of military's uniform costs. 

_If they'd just give the women those miniskirts it wouldn't cost even nearly this much_, he thought sadly. Why nobody ever listened to him? He had a good point in this, for goodness sake!

"So, Edward got out of the hospital?" Riza asked as she sat down and took her own, a much smaller, pile of papers on the table. Roy nodded lazily and skipped seven pages of the report. Who the hell would read all that rubbish anyway? The most important thing was to know what it was about and he found out about it in the title already.

"Good. Where is he now?" she asked. Roy almost sighed. Almost but not quite. Riza had no idea what 'chatting' meant. For her it was finding out the things she wanted to know.

"He's at the Führer who offered to be his psychiatrist."

"He needs a psychiatrist?" she asked sharply. Why couldn't Roy have a subordinate in his room that wanted to chat instead of question everything?

"YES. I'm sick with his talks about death and suicide attempts. And he doesn't listen to me _at all_. I've never met someone so… ungrateful and stubborn", he muttered and bit his pen. "And he's rude. Is it normal to be that rude?"

"What means 'that rude', sir?"

"You know… spitting to the streets… bellowing all the time, sulking, swearing. All that kind of stuff."

"From a teen-ager with no parent figures in years I guess it's normal. Otherwise: not so, but still not unheard of", she said and smiled warmly at Roy. "You'll get used to it, Colonel. Maybe with your good examples he'll start acting better."

Good examples? Whoops, he had forgotten those. He was no role model and he'd never be. But if he'd want to turn Ed to a better kid he'd have to be…

Even the idea sounded extremely boring.

He shook his head and scratched his head. "I wonder how it's going…"

* * *

"Well, Alphonse is dead. What's the big deal?" 

Ed was offended. 'What's the big deal?' Well, what did he _think _was the big deal!? He glared at the Führer angrily. No matter if he was the Führer, nobody who talked to him like that deserved to be treated well.

"Use your brains. You must have them if you're able to talk, move and function", he snarled. This was a nightmare. The Führer laughed loudly _all the time_. Anyone else could be better. Really. If he'd really had to visit a psychiatrist, he would never, _ever_ choose the Führer. If he had to talk about it, he'd rather talk with someone who at least _pretended _to understand and be sad, not with… well, not with someone who laughed right at his face.

"Hahahaa! That's so funny, you're right! My bad. I guess my brains are getting old. Hahahaaa!"

No… Honestly!

"Why do you want to die?"

Ed whimpered. Why that question again? "Because I do. I have nothing to live for-"

"Nothing? But you have Roy!"

"…Excuse me? Are you suggesting that I would live BECAUSE OF THAT BLOODY BASTARD? You can't be serious! I'm not even considering!"

"Hahhaa, sounds funny when you say it with that much force. You're denying the fact that you've been getting closer to him-"

Ed shook his head violently. "No. I'm not getting closer to him. And I'm not lying or denying it."

"Hahhaaaa!"

"Can you stop that laughing? How long do I still have to stay in here?" he asked angrily. After he'd get out, he'd beat Roy alive. This was his stupid idea. He wanted to get out of here, NOW. Damn, he felt more suicidal in this room than in anywhere else! Anything to get rid of the Führer!

"Five minutes if Roy's three minutes early."

"Why would he be early!? Eight minutes you mean?"

The Führer clapped his hands and smiled widely. "At last I have someone in here that can do math! Want to help me? I have to count a few things…"

Ed buried his face in his hands. "No… Please, just no."

* * *

Roy opened the room's door ten minutes later. Yes, ten minutes. He was two minutes late according to the Führer's clock but he didn't mind. Actually he seemed to be disappointed to let Ed go and leave him count with his fingers. Ed seemed exhausted. 

"So, what was it like?" he asked nicely from Ed as he pushed him on the hallway again. Ed growled loudly, his only hand coiled to a shaking fist. "Not so well then."

"Get me someone else! Anyone else! I'd rather be those evil professionals than with… with… Someone who makes me do his job and laughs all the time! It's depressing! And I'm depressed enough without it!"

Roy shook his head with a little smile. "It couldn't be that bad. And I don't have enough money to hire a professional-"

"Then forget those stupid psychiatrists! I'm going crazy! And trust me, you don't want to see me then because if I have to go to even _one_ more meeting with the Führer I'm going to kill you when I get back! Just get me another one!"

Next thing Ed realised was that there was a scary face right in front of his own, smiling happily, pink sparkles all around. Oh god, no, not this, he was imaging, right?!

"The talent of understanding and helping other people has passed down the Armstrong family for generations! Let me, Alex Louis Armstrong, be your new psychiatrist Edward Elric! You won't be disappointed!"

Ed paled and tried to get air in his lungs. "Eh… Thank you, but-"

"Sounds awesome. What time?" Roy asked happily. Ed turned furiously to him and Roy smiled back almost innocently. "You said anyone else except the Führer would be just fine…"

Roy covered his ears when Ed drew a deep breath in, his face already burning red out of fury.

"ROY, YOU WON'T LIVE FOR TOMORROW-"

That was all he could say before Armstrong hugged him so hard that Roy could hear Ed's already broken ribs cracking scarily.

"I know, Edward Elric, it's a tragedy that your brother is gone and Roy taking care of you makes you care about him so much you want to kill him for being so nice!"

"…What the…" Roy muttered and watched Ed draw another breath in his lungs.

"I think you caught the wrong idea, Armstrong. Let me down, I really don't need a psychiatrist."

Tears of admire were falling on Armstrong's face. "Always acting so strong! We'll start right away, I'll get back to you in an hour, Colonel!"

Roy couldn't help but just stare. He had frozen. "…Alright."

"ROY, YOU CAN'T-!"

"Come on, Edward Elric! We can go to the library, I know you love books so you'll feel more comfortable in there!"

"ROOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Roy raised his shoulders as Armstrong carried Ed away. "…There was nothing I could really do."

* * *

"I know how you feel, Edward Elric-!" Armstrong started, tears actually leaking from his eyes. Ed tried to move further away from him. 

"No you don't."

"It must be hard getting over it-"

"You're pointing out the obvious facts. Can I go?" he sighed. He didn't know which one was worse, Armstrong or the Führer. Roy was so going to die when he'd see him again! He'd leave his blood covered corpse in the building for everyone to see!

"But Edward, we just started."

"And I'm starting to feel homicidal. This is a huge step, don't you see? Not suicidal, homicidal. We can end it in here before it gets out of hands."

Armstrong smiled widely. "You're improving! That's great!"

Ed made a fake smile. "Yes. See you later."

"But Edward, it would be such a shame to leave it in here now that we are at last getting some results! I'll call to Roy and ask for an extra hour!" Armstrong yelled and started running to the phones. Ed paled.

"But… But I've been in here only for two minutes!"

* * *

Two and half hours later Roy arrived to the library. He was concerned: Armstrong hadn't returned Ed in two hours like he promised. He walked to the table and hawked to get the man's attention. 

"Hello, Colonel Mustang. How may I help you?"

"Have you seen a small teen-ager with golden hair and eyes in here? He has a red coat and black clothing, two limbs are missing."

The man smiled. "Yes. He's right over there with Major Armstrong." Roy watched to the direction the man pointed and heard Armstrong's lecture. He shook his head slightly.

"Thank you."

He walked to the two of them and found Ed hitting his own head hardly with books he pulled from the shelf. He seemed to be trying to get his neck break but with the force of only one hand slamming with thick books wasn't enough. He didn't even see Roy arriving. Neither did Armstrong, he was too busy telling how beautiful life could be from the Armstrong family's point of view.

"Afternoon", he said and the two turned to him. Ed had dark circles under his eyes as he shook his head.

"Never leave me with him again. Never."

"Good to see you again Roy! Same time tomorrow?"

Roy looked at Ed. God, he looked more depressed than _ever_. And that said a lot.

"Err… I think not. He seems to be doing really well. Thank you for your help, Major Armstrong."

Ed sighed out of relief and Armstrong's pink sparkles became present again.

"Anytime, Roy! Anytime! I've had fantastic time with young Mr. Elric!"

Roy nodded tiredly. "Sure you have. But now I'm going to take Ed to home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Never had Ed jumped in his wheelchair quicker.

As he was pulling the boy around in the wheelchair again Ed snarled miserably.

"Roy, can we forget this psychiatrist-thing? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of these people, they are crazier than I am. If you plan to make me go on those anymore I'll start studying how to put myself in coma."

"But you need someone Ed."

"If it's any of these guys, I'm much better alone. Honestly."

"Come on, it's not that bad. I'll find you another one."

"…Even you were better…"

Roy stopped when the idea struck him. "Really?"

Ed paled again. How many times he had done that already? "No. I didn't say that."

"I'll be your psychiatrist Ed!"

Ed whined. "No. No, no, no. Someone kill me!"

* * *

God, I love torturing the characters. It's so fun... as you might know already. 

Review, OK? Everyone? Perfect.


	9. Slips

I apoligize again that this chapter gets up a little late... I just happened to sleep so long! I had fun writing this, I hope it shows... though I'm not sure... 

I'm glad that someone thinks that I keep the characters in character... I think it gets a little OOC at times (especially in Roy's part) but it's nice to know that not everyone thinks so. Thanks for all reviewers for giving me confidence!

Edited for spelling mistakes.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. And I hate the fact that sometimes my disclaimers disappear even though I really have written them!!!**

**

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 9  
**__Slips_

Roy dropped spaghetti to the pot. Ed was lying on the sofa on the other side of the big room which contained kitchen, lounge and dining room. Three in one. Handy.

"I know you're tired Ed, but can you at least try to stay awake during this talk?" Roy sighed. Ed was worn out from all the 'psycho meetings' as he preferred to call them and fell asleep after every two minutes when Roy tried to give him the third one. He almost let the kid sleep out of pity.

That's right. Almost.

Ed grunted and turned his back to him. "Shuddup." Roy glanced briefly at the spaghetti before walking to Ed and yanking him in a sitting position. Ed growled angrily, his eyes still shut.

"I'm tired. Let me sleep…" he muttered desperately and leaned on Roy's shoulder, mouth open. OK, the kid was _extremely _tired if he did that. Most likely he had no idea what he was doing. Roy waved his head back and sighed. How could it be this hard?

"I'm trying to help you Ed. You listening and thinking would be a great help", he muttered and stroke the boy's hair. When he received no answer he looked down and found Ed asleep again.

"…Fine!" he hissed angrily and laid the boy down before returning to cooking. Yanking him up didn't help at all. He could swear that the kid hadn't listened to more than two of his first questions. And even during those he had just kept yawning and resting his head on the warm fabric.

Well he was a kid. A wounded kid. And wounded kids did need sleep.

…But still!

His things and lifestyle had been messed up because of the death of Alphonse Elric. People usually saw only Ed grieving, which wasn't true. He felt bad too, as did the other ones in the office. They just had to keep hiding it for the sake of Al's older brother. If he'd be in the middle of a gang grieving after his brother it would most likely have even more negative affect on him. Though Roy was sure that it hurt the kid to see everyone else just putting it behind. It felt unfair. Ed needed someone to grief _with_ him. But at the same time he needed everyone's good example how to live after all that happened.

It was just so hard to try to think like a teen-ager. It had been so long ago… and at the same time not so long ago that he had been a teen. About ten years? A little more. Yes. But counting the years wasn't actually helping. And if he couldn't think like Ed did, then how could he help him?

Nah. He just had to do his best. Nobody could ever understand Ed truly, he was a complicated character. Roy didn't believe that he knew even half of the boy. He knew some facts, yes. He had seen Ed blow up in his office countless of times, yes. He was dealing with the broken shadow of what he had once been now, yes. But he didn't actually really know what Ed was like.

Should he start listing things down? Start thinking and asking people and collect all he could so he could outline Ed's actual personality? Not actually a bad idea. He should start the same night after he had gotten Ed to eat something and back to bed.

After about ten minutes he was finished with cooking. He sighed and walked back to Ed, shaking him determinately.

"Get up, Ed. You need to eat something."

Ed growled and tried to bury himself deeper in the sofa. Roy grabbed his only remaining arm.

"I'll make this clear. The sooner you obey and eat the sooner you'll get to bed. It's up to you."

Ed opened his eyes tiredly. "But I'm tired…"

"I know. That's why I suggest for you to go through this quickly", he murmured and lifted the boy's light form up. Ed whined and closed his eyes again. Roy hawked and waved the kid scarily so he opened his eyes again. "Why don't you try to stay awake? Or do you really want to fall asleep in my arms?"

Ed blushed and glared at Roy angrily. "No. Why can't I skip the dinner? I'm not hungry…"

Roy shook his head and put Ed in his chair. "My responsibility as a parent-"

Ed's eyes shot open and he startled out of his chair right to the floor. Roy blushed. What the heck did he just say? Damn, he should get some sleep as well. He tried to help Ed up but the kid kicked him to keep distance.

"Sorry Ed, I didn't mean it. I have no idea where it came from, OK? Get up now. Come on."

Ed panted on the floor and shook his head disbelievingly. "You're going a little too fast, Roy. I'm not comfortable with it."

"I already said that I have no idea where it came from, can we just forget it?" Roy squeaked. Ed laughed coldly.

"Something as creepy as that it pretty hard to forget. And let me tell you this: I'm not accepting it. You can go to hell with your thoughts. You really are a big bastard."

"Ed-" Roy started but Ed cut him short. Ed's words had torn his heart apart, and the funniest thing was that he was trying to pretend that the kid didn't mean any of them. Though from his eyes he could pretty much read that he did. But Ed was a good actor, right? He could keep these kinds of things hidden if he wanted to.

"No, Mustang. Don't repeat yourself, I am _not _deaf. My brains are functioning just fine, thank you. Though I'm not so sure about yours." Oh, how Roy hated that cold golden glare. It made the air freeze in a unique way. In the way only Ed could freeze it.

Ed stood up and sat down again, looking tired. He buried his face in his hands. Roy felt responsible for getting the kid's mind so messed up again but didn't dare to worsen the situation by giving him a hug. Though that was most likely what he needed now.

"Let's just eat… and go to sleep…" Ed muttered and took fork and spoon in his hand. Roy lowered his head and went back to eating as well. They ate silently for a few minutes before Ed falling asleep again, luckily missing his plate by two inches. Roy stood silently up and carried Ed in his bed, turning the microphone on once again before going back to the kitchen to throw the food away. He didn't feel hungry anymore.

As he crawled in his bead, listening to the gentle breathing coming from the speaker he took a pencil and paper and started writing, sometimes stopping to bit his pencil or just think what next.

_Facts about Edward_

_-smart_

_-good actor_

_-stubborn_

_-probably lonely_

_-loyal to people he wants to be loyal to_

_-short. small._

_-orphan_

_-suicidal_

_-bad tempered_

_-mad_

_-rude_

_-likes reading. Or at least he did…_

"Nah, I'm not good in this. Can't think of anything…" he muttered angrily and ripped the paper in pieces and threw them on the floor. He could clean it up when he would just get the energy. He turned his head and fell asleep.

* * *

"Roy! Get up you lazy bastard, I'm thirsty!" 

Roy grunted and sat up. What the hell..? He looked at the clock. What the hell, 1 A.m.?

"UP MUSTANG OR I'M GOING MYSELF!"

Damn the kid. Just damn him.

Roy got up and walked to the kitchen to fill a glass with water. After that he walked in Ed's room where the kid was smiling almost… maliciously?

Ed grabbed the glass and drank it. "Thanks. Now you can fill it again."

Roy growled and wandered back to the kitchen. He felt so sleepy…

"HURRY WITH IT MUSTANG! DO NOT FALL ASLEEP!"

Was this Ed's revenge from the earlier evening? Damn the kid!

Roy walked back in Ed's room and gave the water to Ed. Ed drank it again.

"Roy, I'm bored. I want to do something", Ed stated grumpily. His eyes were normally open without even a glimpse of tiredness. Roy sighed. No, please just no…

"Why don't I get you a book and put the lights on?" he suggested and rubbed his eyes. God, he needed some sleep…

"I'm not in the mood for reading. I already read in the library", Ed stated cheerfully. Roy shook his head.

"No you didn't. You were hitting yourself with them, remember?"

"In the end, yes. But before it I read some but all of them were extremely boring and Armstrong didn't listen to me when I suggested to change the section. Those were all some mushy romance novels, they're boring as hell, you know. I suggest you to never read them."

Roy yawned. "Ed, even if you're not sleepy, I am. I'm going to bed now. Sure you'll figure something out-"

"Don't go! Please don't go", Ed whined sadly. Roy raised his head.

"Why not? Ed, I need sleep. I have work tomorrow…"

Ed drew his knee to his chest and lowered his head. Was this a stupid act again? Or if it wasn't what the heck was it?

"OK. Go."

Roy tapped Ed's head and walked back to his room. He had almost fallen asleep before starting to hear sobbing from the speaker. NOT AGAIN, DAMN IT! He felt a sudden urge to smash something, anything. Ed would be the best target but he knew he couldn't hit him. Hawkeye would kill him. Damn the blonds.

He ignored the voices for few minutes but then they started to come louder. Damn it Ed. Why? Why did Ed feel the urge to torture him? What had he done to deserve this? Well quite a lot now that he thought about it… but still!

Roy growled and walked to Ed's room where the kid was crying in his pillow. Roy sighed.

"Alright Ed, what is it?"

"Sorry. I… I didn't m-mean to, I just… I just…" the kid whined miserable before breaking to tears again. Roy walked to him and hugged him. He was surprised when Ed didn't push him away, but neither did he do any kind of action to be held tighter.

"Shh, Ed. It's OK, I know you're having a hard time. Just try to sleep OK?" he said and rocked gently. Ed's small frame was trembling in his arms like it was going to break into pieces. That would be a mess…

"I… I try not to think about it, but at night, god he hated them, he was so alone..! I-I always tr-tried to stay awake with him so he wouldn't have to be alone and… and…" Roy tightened his grip and laid his chin on the youth's shoulder. "Al never liked being alone… now he might be somewhere, all alone, and it's… it's my fault and-!"

"It isn't your fault. Whatever you think, it wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could do", Roy whispered.

"A-After t-that I haven't liked being all alone at n-night either…"

"Then you can come to my room", Roy said and stroke the kid's hair. Ed shook his head.

"No. I can't and I don't want to. Just… just g-go to sleep, OK? I'm… I'm fine…"

Roy lifted Ed up and the kid started screaming. "Let me down! Damn it Mustang, let me down!"

"If you don't like to be alone, then you won't be", Roy stated and carried Ed in his bed. He closed the lights and lied down next to Ed.

"…Bastard. I should never, ever open my mouth when I'm with you…"

"Sure you shouldn't Ed… sure you shouldn't…" Roy muttered and coiled his arms around Ed. The kid snorted angrily but didn't move away. It was pretty nice actually to have someone warm holding him again first time in a long, long time…

No! He couldn't be thinking like that! He couldn't! He couldn't get attached to someone, anyone! It would just ruin everything… it would just ruin everything…

* * *

"Hey bastard, in what time did you have to get up?" Ed growled when the clock came half eight. Roy snored and Ed punched his face, careful not to hit his nose. 

"Ow! What is it now Ed? Scared of the shadows?" Roy snarled but didn't open his eyes. Ed hit his stomach for revenge and Roy opened his eyes. "…Aggressive little kid."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE WOULD FIT IN YOUR ARMS JUST FINE!"

Roy drew Ed closer. "But you do."

An hour later Roy Mustang, with two black eyes and countless number of bruises, was pulling Ed in his wheelchair towards his work.

* * *

"Morning Riza", Roy muttered as he entered the office while Ed sulking in his wheelchair. Riza turned her head and gasped out of horror. 

"Roy, you look horrible! What happened?" she demanded. Ed chuckled evilly and Roy rolled his eyes.

"I had a _little_ disagreement with Ed this morning."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE WOULD FIT IN A DOG HOUSE AND BECOME YOUR LITTLE PUPPET, YOU BASTARD!"

Riza raised her eyebrows. "Alright. I think I got the idea. Now sir, you have to start working. Ed can wait on the couch-"

Ed drew in a horrified breath. "For the whole day?!"

"Minus the lunch break. You can consider it as a punishment", Roy said smiling and helped Ed in the sofa. The kid growled dangerously.

"…Once we get out..." he started but stopped when Roy clapped his hands.

"But the Führer was having problems with maths! You, as a genius, a real child prodigy, can go and help him! Then you'd be out of the way and doing something useful! And maybe it would get me a promotion as well!" he said smiling. Riza looked at him disbelievingly with Ed.

"Tell me that was a joke", Ed demanded. He was actually looking a little scared. Roy smirked.

"I'll be right back Hawkeye."

"NO! ROY YOU CAN'T DO IT-! NOOOOO!" Ed screamed when Roy put him back in the wheelchair. When Roy pushed him past Riza she gave him an angry look and muttered "We'll talk about this when you get back."

* * *

"Alright Edward, I need to know how many people need uniforms. Can you plus 1, 22, 16, 7, 4, 2, 2, 4, 5, 1, 8, 19 and 21 together?" 

"112", came the immediate and bored answer. The Führer clapped his hands and laughed like a little kid.

"Hahaaa! Awesome! You're like a machine!"

"I am _not_ a machine…" Ed snarled angrily but the Führer was too busy writing the answer down to notice anything. Ed sighed. How could Mustang do this? Was this his revenge? Well it was a cruel one. He was treated like a machine. He was _called_ a machine at times. It was frustrating.

"Hmm… then I have to count how old Selim is going to be after a week! He's now 8 so…"

What the..!? The Führer couldn't count _that_!? Now that was pathetic! "He's going to be nine."

"Hahhaa! Really? I though that he was going to be 6! You're really helpful, Edward…"

"…I bet I am…" Ed muttered. Alright, just cope with this until lunch break. Until lunch break… just a few hours more…

"Hey Edward, how many day's there is in a week? Can you plus Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday together? How many there is?"

Yeah. Just a few hours more this madness. "It's seven. Seven days."

* * *

"Sir, may I ask how long do you plan Ed to be in the Führer's office?" Hawkeye asked. "Even one hour drive people crazy at times and he's been in there for two and half hours. And he was there yesterday. I think it would be the safest to get him out soon." 

Roy waved his hand. "He'll be in there for an hour more so he really understands the message."

Riza raised her eyebrows. "What message?"

"'Act well and you shall be rewarded.'"

* * *

Oh, I am _so evil_. And all the character's are _so evil_ as well, aren't they? 

Thanks for my awesome reviewers. Can you drop me a few again? I would be so happy!


	10. Living counting machine and a call

Sorry it took so long! I was so sure that I couldn't make it today, I woke up late and then I had to go shopping and all and we're going to have visitors and... !!! But I made it. Yes. I'm so proud of myself! Njeh njeh. 

Over 100 reviews! With only 9 chapters! I've never gotten so many so soon! Thank you!

Edited for spelling mistakes.

**Disclaimer which disappeared again: I. Do. Not. Own. Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 10  
**__Living counting machine and a forbidden call_

A little longer than an hour later Roy was sitting with Ed in a cheap restaurant. The kid's eyes seemed haunted and his eyelid vibrated. Not a fun sight before you while trying to eat.

"Ed, can you stop that and relax? Eat something. It'll make you feel better", Roy sighed. Ed shook his head slowly and trembled. When he answered his voice was trembling.

"I'm not hungry. I feel like shit-"

"Watch your language Ed or I'm putting you in there for the rest of the day", Roy warned. It was good to know how to get control over Ed. Though seeing Ed like that was very irritating…

Ed drew a breath in before continuing. "I feel horrible. I'm like some stupid counting machine. This food costs-"

"Stop in there Ed. You don't have to count anymore, OK? Stop counting. Eat."

"Roy, you do know that there's seven days in a week, right? And 168 hours…" Ed asked. His thoughts seemed to be somewhere far away. Roy felt shocked hearing his voiced thoughts.

"Of course I know. Everyone knows that. You're letting the numbers take hold. Forget them and think about… well, flowers for example."

Ed smiled dreamily. "There were 23 flowers on the other side of the building and only 21 flowers in the other side."

Had the kid really gone crazy? Maybe he shouldn't have putted him with the Führer for that long time. It seemed to bring only problems for him. He was trying to escape from work during his lunch breaks and now he had some… living counting machine with him, for goodness sake! How depressing!

He smiled like Ed was a crazy person who could kill him if he treated him wrongly. "Sounds nice Ed. You sure do know how to count. But what if you'd just forget the numbers, alright Ed? Can you do that?"

Ed smiled back like a little kid. "I think so. Do you know that you have 13 peas on your plate? I have 27!"

"No, Ed, I didn't know. Thanks for pointing it out." Ed would drive Roy crazy if he kept acting like that. He would never leave Ed alone with the Führer again.

"You're welcome Roy. Oh, you have to be at work after 5 minutes and 21 seconds… 19, 18-"

"Can you count it in your head?" Roy whined. Ed nodded three times… Hey, he couldn't start counting as well! Urgh! Ed was driving him crazy! For even once he didn't want to know what was going on in Ed's head. Probably some headache making complicated equations.

Roy put his fork and knife down. He had eaten only half of his portion but Ed's dreamy look, twitching fingers and silent chuckles were making him lose his appetite. Ed hadn't even touched his food. He had probably been too busy counting the peas… and now that he looked at the kid's eyes again, they seemed to be focused on his grains of rice which he was slowly spreading on the plate. No, please no, not with the rice! Roy shook his head. He was going to take Ed out of this place. A waiter walked past him and Roy snapped his fingers.

"Can I have the bill please?"

* * *

"Alright Ed, sit down and stay there while I work. Try _not_ to think of any numbers, OK? Your life _does not_ depend on them, even if it might seem so right now-" 

Ed nodded furiously. "I know. I know. I'll stop… I'll… dam-"

"_The language_ Ed."

Ed blinked. "Eh? Did I change the language? I didn't notice, I thought that I can talk only one-"

"_The numbers_ Ed."

"Oh. Yeah, right! I had to stop thinking about them like you said about ten seconds ago-"

"_The counting _Ed."

"Oops. I really didn't notice, sorry! I'll stop it, just give me a second to get rid of them… or two… or three…"

Roy sighed. "Whatever Ed. Whatever. Just _try_, OK? And if you really need to count, please do it in your head, do not talk. Understood?"

"Yes Colonel, the one and only bastard!" Ed said smiling happily.

"_THE LANGUAGE AND THE NUMBERS EDWARD_!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING TO A CHILD, COLONEL?" Riza yelled when she stepped in the room. Roy looked stunned so Ed decided to try to help a little.

"A child means _one_ human who's underage, which means under _18_ years old, most likely still very young but it can also be connected to someone's child in which point age doesn't really matter-"

Roy growled angrily. It took all his self control not to hack Ed and answer with as nice voice as possible which was still trembling. "Thank you Ed. I think I got the point."

"Oh. Nice that I can help you so many times! How many has it been, one, two…"

At this point Riza raised her eyebrows to Roy. "I think I need to discuss with you privately, sir."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Wait a second, I'll mislead Ed's thoughts for a while…" He kneeled next to Ed and snapped his fingers to get Ed's attention.

"Huh? You snapped once, does that mean that-"

"I want to talk to you, yes. You know, I was wondering how many seconds does it take to be 14. of March in year 2016 if the time would freeze for two hours three times but those seconds would still be rolling and in year 2008 a second would be cut half, so from that on a second would be only half of what it is now. Can you count that?"

Ed fell in his thoughts, muttering numbers, counting with his fingers, growling and shaking his head at times. Roy smirked. His little plan worked perfectly.

Riza seemed surprised. "I think I really need to talk to you. What the heck is wrong with Edward?"

Roy scratched his neck nervously. "I think I left him with the Führer for a little too long time… He can't stop counting."

"Can't stop counting? How can that be?"

"I don't know, OK? And he acts strangely, I think his mind got a little too messed up. Though I have to say that the boy can really do maths…" He glanced at Ed who was whispering by himself, fingers raising and going down one after another with an incredible speed. He had to hurry up.

Riza looked at Ed too. "Seems so. But he can't count for the rest of his life. You have to figure something out to mislead his thoughts _from maths_."

"I've tried, but I can't make anything up… I just have to wait if he can sleep over it or something."

"If you do that, I hope it works. Just…try to snap him out of it it's strange to watch-"

"Roy! Can you give me some paper and a pencil, the equation is just so long…"

"Of course Edward. Here, take these. How's it going?"

Ed started filling the paper with incredible speed. "If I can keep this speed up it should take only 46 seconds to complete."

Roy blinked. "…Only 46 seconds?"

"44 now."

Roy turned back to Riza. "Do you have any ideas how to… well… 'snap him out of it' like you said?"

"No… what about a shock or something? Scare him. Or knock him out. Or drug him with medicine that makes him relax."

"How could relaxing help this? Maybe it would slow him down but… I don't think it would really make him forget counting."

Riza rolled her eyes. Ed raised his hands up out of happiness. "Roy, I got the answer! Want to hear?"

Roy's jaw dropped when two bullets flew over Ed's head. The kid froze.

"You alright Ed?" Riza asked nicely and walked over to him. Ed blinked. She shook him gently. "Earth calls Edward. You there?"

Roy shook his head. His subordinate really had no sense of humour…

"I think two bullets just flew over my head with an incredible speed", Ed answered. He shook his head with widened eyes. "Is here a murderer?"

"No Edward. It was me."

"…Oh."

"Alright. Is he normal lieutenant?" Roy asked and stepped closer as well. Ed raised his eyebrow.

"Normal? Are you talking about me? Why wouldn't I be normal?"

"At least he doesn't seem to be counting anymore. My ways usually work. But now you need to go back to your work." She walked on the door but stopped after she opened it. "Oh. I almost forgot, I think you might want this information." She walked back and handed Roy a little paper. Roy raised his eyebrows and read it.

_Heya Roy! Ed's mechanic is Winry Rockbell. You can contact her by calling to number 088 920 7132. Just thought you might want to know!  
Oh, and look at this picture of my cute little Elysia! Isn't she just so adorable! You can keep the picture and put it on your wall so she can cheer you up always when you're feeling down! No need to thank!  
-Maes_

_Oh, and when are you planning to return my books about teen-agers? Have you read them? Of course you haven't. Bad, bad, Roy. READ THEM!_

Roy sighed and took the picture in his hand. How many had he already gotten? He would have to burn all of them. Too many were just too many.

"Thank you lieutenant. You're dismissed."

Riza bowed and walked out of the room. Ed was lying on the sofa.

"So what did she give you? Chocolate maybe to avoid feeling so bad to spend all your time with me. You might need it…"

"Just a note from Maes and a picture of Elysia as usual. Nothing for you to worry about…" Roy muttered. He would have to call to this Winry. Once he just got one moment away from Edward…

* * *

"God, Ed, you stink! When was the last time you got a shower?" Roy complained when he watched the TV while Ed lying on his couch. 

"When I got to the hospital. Had to get that blood out…"

"You haven't showered after it!? God, have you ever heard about personal hygiene?"

Ed yawned. "I think someone mentioned it a few years back."

"God, Ed, you really need to take a shower. You stink. Have you ever heard that teen-ager sweat more than normal?"

Ed's eyes widened. "We do? Thank god, I've been worrying for years if my state was getting worse… I did extra exercises all those years…"

Roy looked at him. "Nobody ever told you?"

Ed looked at him weirdly. "Why would've anyone told me? It's not like I stayed long in one place or anyone had the responsibility…"

"OK, I got it. Can you just go and take the damn shower?"

"Why can you talk like that if I can't!?"

"Talk like what?" Roy asked.

"Say 'damn' and along those lines!"

"I'm an adult. That's why", Roy muttered the answer. Ed snorted.

"I'll follow your example. If you talk like that, then I do as well. If you don't then I can stop too. But I'm not going to stop something you do as well."

Roy growled. "Just take the shower."

Ed smiled wickedly. "I can't really do that with only one leg. I might fall. You just have to stand this smell."

Roy really had to call to Ed's mechanic… and he had to do it fast.

* * *

"Will you be alright?" Roy asked worryingly when Ed crawled under his sheets. 

"Stop asking. I can sleep on my own", he snarled. Roy crossed his arms.

"I need a night when I can _sleep_. Hearing your cries is not relaxing to a light sleeper."

Ed blushed and curled his arm around his pillow. "Whatever you say. Just go to sleep."

"OK. Good night."

"I hope you have nightmares, bastard."

Roy's eye twitched. He smiled to Ed. "Same goes for you. Bye."

He closed the door and sighed. Ed could sometimes be so difficult…

Which reminded him of Ed's mechanic. If he'd talk quietly on the phone the boy wouldn't notice it…

He walked to the phone, picked it up and took the piece of paper out of his pocket to read the number. He had to wait for a while before someone picking it up.

"Rockbell automail, Winry on the phone. How can I help you?"

Roy squeezed the paper nervously. Something in the girl's voice made her sound… incredibly dangerous even though her tone wasn't threatening at all. "Hello Winry. I am Colonel Roy Mustang from Central-"

He heard the girl draw a terrified breath in. "I knew this would come someday. How bad is it? Are they alive?"

"Let's just say that things aren't good. Al's gone and Ed's… well, he's not well. Physically he's OK and healing fast but mentally… well, you know."

"…Al's gone?" the girls almost teary voice came. Roy remembered that she was a childhood friend and felt immediately incredibly sorry for her.

"I'm sorry Winry. I know you're their friend."

"Why didn't that irresponsible brother of his never call me!? How long ago?"

"Four days. I'm sorry. It took me time to find out who you were and how to contact you. He needs new limbs. And I would say that he needs you, even if he doesn't admit it. He's not well."

"…That fool. Is he in Central?"

"Yes. He's staying with me. You can report of your arrival to the Head Quarters. Ask for Colonel Roy Mustang. I'm dragging Ed to work with me."

"OK. OK. I'll get there… I'll get there…" Roy could hear the girl starting crying in the other line.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! It's just… I'll get there. Bye."

Roy heard the sound of slamming the phone shut and sighed.

Ed was going to kill him for that one single call and its consequences when he'd find out. It would take a long time to get his forgiveness. But Ed needed new limbs and that Winry needed to know…

Why were things always this complicated? He opened Ed's door quietly and peeked in to see Ed sleeping in the darkness.

Yes. He should get some sleep as well. He had to gather courage before being able to confess Ed for what he'd done.

* * *

Done, thank god, our visitors are arriving any minute... I made it! Yes! I can't even remember how long I've planned to get Winry in... 

Reward me with reviews! OK?


	11. Childish but mature

Thanks for everyone who have reviewed. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. Can you do it again? And those who haven't reviewed: can you do it?

To nonregistered readers: njeh njeh, we can see how many hits our stories and stories' chapters get. A hit doesn't mean that it's been read, but if there's over a hundred hits for 10th chappy and only about ten reviews, I'll _know_ that people skip the reviewing part. Njeh njeh. This is all true. So can you _please_ drop me a review?

Edited for spelling mistakes.

**WHY THE FUCK DO THESE LINES DISAPPEAR!? I DO NOT OWN FMA!**

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 11  
**__Childish but mature_

"Get up Ed", Roy called gently while shaking Ed. The boy snarled angrily for response and tried to bury his head under his pillow.

"…It's your day off, leave me alone."

"I thought that we might do something today and you sleeping over midday is taking a lot of time. Its one o'clock already so get up. Let's go and eat out", Roy said and threw Ed's pillow to the other side of the room. He positioned the tiredly wiggling teen in the sitting position. Ed blinked angrily.

"I don't care if you want to eat out. I want to sleep, can you ever listen to me?" Ed complained and closed his eyes. Roy stroked his hair but stopped quickly.

"Ed your hair is really dirty. You have to wash it or you're going to get some… unwanted bugs in your head. Come on, get up, I'll show you what personal hygiene is."

"I don't want to know, Roy. I want to sleep", Ed whined and tried to lie back down.

Roy lifted Ed over his shoulder. Ed growled angrily. "Bastard."

"Let's take your dirty clothes with and put them in the laundry. How long have you worn them?"

Ed blushed. Somehow he knew that Roy wasn't going to like the answer. "…Three weeks…"

Roy's eyes widened. "The boxers too?"

"No, those I changed two weeks ago", Ed muttered. He just hated it when people stick their noses in his business. So he didn't change his clothing usually, what's the big deal? It wasn't like he needed to when he slept in the streets or in some dirty inns.

Roy sighed. "Alright, Ed. I think I really need to go through this with you." He started heading to the bathroom. Ed hanged on his shoulder, trying to wake up a little more.

Roy put Ed down next to the tub and took a clean towel from the shelf. Ed shrugged.

"You aren't really planning to wash my hair?"

Roy smiled. "I am. Take your shirt off or it might get wet."

Ed glanced at him. "I am not going to run around in my boxers when you're around. You can forget the whole thing."

Roy kneeled down and tapped his nose. Ed shook his head to get his finger somewhere away. "Ed, Ed, Ed. Why not? There's no need to feel awkward."

"But I do. I don't like the fact that I'm living in the same house with you, but I hate that you're even trying to make me go through this."

Roy sighed. "Whatever. Leave it on for a while then, but do not complain to me if it gets wet because you aren't going to remove it in the middle of this. Are you sure to keep it on?"

"Yes, I am sure, you idiot." Roy guided his head over the edge and Ed snorted. God, he hated it when Roy controlled him. He had hated it all over the years but all the time under his nose and rules was starting to get on his nerves. And he showed it every now and then.

Suddenly the cool water was all over his head. He gasped.

"Is it cold? Do you want warmer?" Roy asked worriedly.

"No. It's waking me up." He gritted his teeth.

Roy nodded even though he knew that Ed wasn't able to see him and started running his hand trough Ed's golden hair. Ed snarled.

"I hate it when you do that."

He smiled warmly. "You'll get used to it. This shouldn't take long. Your hair is long…"

"Is that a problem!? Are you trying to say that soon my hair is longer than me!?"

Roy laughed. "No. Because I know that if you just have the power to keep something shorter than you, which you have in this case, you will use it with no hesitation. Poor hair for having to go through it…"

Ed was trembling under his touch. "I suggest you to go through this quickly before I'm changing my mind and deciding to attack you in the middle of this. And I bet you'll get soaked if I do so. Actually I can promise it to you."

Roy took shampoo in his hand and started spreading it in Ed's hair. His touch was hesitant but confident and gentle, almost as trying not to hurt him. Not that Ed needed it! He hated it when he was treated like a glass that could break. Though it felt a little good…

Roy washed the bubbles and the rest of the shampoo away. "I don't have balsam so you need to survive without it for now."

Ed raised his eyebrows. "Balsam? What's that?"

"…People usually use it when they have a long hair. I guess you're not one of those people."

"I've never even heard of it", Ed answered hesitantly. "At least we won't have a problem now that you won't have it. Can you give me the towel?"

Roy gave Ed the towel and watched him rubbing his hair with it. It didn't take long for the towel to get soaked. It was weird how wet that long hair could get.

Ed shook his head finally and gave the towel back to Roy. "I think I'm more awake now."

Roy sighed and lowered his head. "That wasn't the point. The point was to get at least your hair _clean_."

Ed scratched his neck. "Err… Well it does feel… cleaner…"

"Good. Have you ever heard of deodorant?"

Ed stared at him dumbly. "…No. Never heard of it."

Roy took a deep breath in. Why did Ed have to be so out of hygiene? "OK. Well from now on you'll have to use it every morning. That's a rule, I can't stand your smell. You wash your armpits and then you put a little of this deodorant in them", he said and took a little bottle from his shelf. Ed looked at it suspiciously.

"I don't know", Ed said slowly.

"What you don't know?" Roy snarled. He was starting to get really irritated.

"That looks icky. Surely I can wash it off?"

Roy raised his eyebrows. "No."

"What!? I can't even wash it off?!" Ed started yelling. Roy covered his mouth with his hand.

"That's right. And you better use it, starting from now. I'll go and get you clean clothes and when I get back you better have used it. I can smell it so you can't lie."

Ed snarled. When Roy stepped out of the bathroom he swore he heard the teen muttering "Thank god I have only one armpit left."

* * *

The day had been… nice. It just felt like the right word to use. Roy had taken him to a restaurant at first and then they'd gone to the park to feed ducks. He had felt like his age for even once. And it had felt… good. 

It was such a pity that nothing good could last for long. On their way back home, after shopping for some groceries which were in a plastic bag on Ed's lap, all the years in the past came back to him.

Everything about Al came back to him.

It took only a stray kitten to do it.

He remembered how he had frozen. He had frozen when he looked at a little box where was a little, grey kitten. He gasped and started shivering when it all came back.

The pain.

The screams.

The breaking bloodseal, drawn with his own blood after the biggest mistake of his life.

The transmutation.

"Ed, you OK?" Roy's voice seemed to come from somewhere far away. Ed was trying to bottle it all in. He didn't want to let it out. He couldn't. He didn't even know anymore why. He just… couldn't.

Mum.

Al.

Why was it all gone?

He shivered harder and started nodding furiously without even remembering what for. Roy looked at the kitten.

"Do you want to take it with? It hasn't been on the streets for long so I don't think it's sick yet."

Ed nodded numbly and Roy kneeled down to pick the little kitten up. It meowed nicely.

"_Bu__t brother! It's cold outside and… Why can't we just keep it? Just for once! Please?"_

Al… Why couldn't he remember him perfectly? Why? How could he forget his own brother, the one person who was his life? A part of him. Yes. How could he!? It just… It couldn't be… couldn't… Shouldn't…

Roy opened his apartment's door and pushed the suddenly quiet Ed in. It had been nice to see Ed really smiling for even once, forgetting all about his past, living in a moment like nothing else would've existed. But the smile was long gone.

He put the kitten on the floor after closing the door and took the groceries from Ed's lap.

"Roy, can you help me to my room?" Ed asked quietly. It was scary how much Ed had changed after Alphonse was gone. He had never been quiet if he could've avoided it.

"Alright Ed. Alright."

He should tell him… he couldn't hide it for long. A few days mostly.

But Ed was grieving already! Why make him feel worse?

Why make a happy Ed to feel bad? It was just better to get it all at once.

"Thanks Roy", Ed said and crawled to his bed. He turned his back to him.

It's now or never, Roy. Well not never, but anyway.

"Ed… I have a confession to make", he forced the words out. Ed grunted.

"Then go to the priest", He growled and squeezed his sheets.

Roy lowered his head in shame. Alright, just let it out… he can be mad at you but… No, he'll _definitely_ be mad at you.

"I called Winry, Ed."

The air froze as Ed was trying to understand his words. He turned, face paler than snow and lost eyes showing a mix of emotions. Betrayal, hurt, rage, sorrow, shame and some others. His body was trembling.

"You did what..?" he asked quietly.

"I… I called her Ed. She needed to know, and you need your limbs. She'll be here in a few days."

A tear was rolling down Ed's cheek, leaving a red line on his pale face.

"How could you?"

"Ed, it was the right thing to do and you know it." At least he hoped so. More tears were starting to develop in Ed's eyes.

A fist met his cheek.

"You… HOW COULD YOU!? I trusted you!" Ed screamed and hit again and again and again. Time after time. Roy wasn't even trying to stop him or run away, he was taking what he deserved. Fist after fist. Ed's cries after cries.

The cries were the hardest part.

Not that the hits would've been nice, he already had black eyes and a broken nose so his face was in merciless pain.

But the hurt in Ed's eyes and cries were still far worse.

After minutes Ed was finally too tired to hit anymore. He was curled up on his bed, tears still falling down his cheeks, sobs escaping from his swollen lips. He was just… so broken.

"Go away."

Roy didn't know what else he could do. So he left the room.

The kitten meowed to him and pushed his feet. Oh yeah, he had to put the groceries away and give something to the little kitten. And what Ed needed now was time for himself anyway. There was nothing he could really do.

He felt like needing time for himself too. After the betrayal… he just felt so damn guilty.

And guilt was the feeling he hated the most.

* * *

How could Roy do this to me? How could he? He was the only person I trusted anymore. The only one. Now there's none. 

Nobody expect Al deserves my trust. The others always let me down. They always crush me. Al didn't do it. At least intentionally. But Roy knew what he was doing, he was totally aware of it and he still did it. And I just can't see why.

Self-pity is horrible. It's stupid. But sometimes I just can't avoid it anymore. I've just lost _so much_ and still the world keeps it up. It keeps smacking me down all the time.

Why me?

What a good question that no one should ever ask. But I do. Why? Why _me_? Haven't I gone through enough already? Why _still_ me? Why?

I should never let my guard down and let someone close to me. I just end up hurt.

Death can't rip us apart, Al. It can't do it, it's impossible. We agreed that nothing will separate us, that we'll be together to the end.

_The end_. Not _Al's end_. It isn't right! How could you live your whole life on my side but I can't do the same? Every minute, every second is pulling me down. I don't know how long I'll have ground under my feet. It's just… It's fading away.

It's all fading away. My life. My memories. I'm losing one by one without even noticing. The other ones are starting to get blurry.

Why was I so stupid to never stop and memorize things? Why did I just rush everywhere with you without paying attention in anything? I think I'm starting to pay for it.

But how could Roy do that? He was the only one after you that I felt at least _a little_ comfortable with. I know it sounds funny, I felt a little comfortable around the Colonel Bastard. I should've known that it was all just a big act.

Roy had started to feel like… a father. A father we never had. But he took it all away, time after time. It was like… it was like it never was, it just sometimes seemed like it. But sometimes I found myself wanting it so badly. I know that it never was and it'll never be but… I can wish, right?

Damn the bastard for hurting me time after time. It's always been so. He puts me think that the decisions are mine even though they never are. And in the end I blame myself.

I should've known… but I didn't. I didn't see it Al. I've became so blind. I'm starting to lose touch on the world around me. Now it just… is. With you it was something we had to face and so on but alone… it just is. Everything just is. And I don't want them to be.

I want to at least try to follow you to where you are. Who knows what's after death. Maybe we can see each others again.

I know that you don't want me to die, I know that you want me to keep living and have a happy life. But I just don't know if I can! I need someone to be here for _me_. And I think I just lost the one I thought it at least might've been.

I know you always keep giving people another chance even though they always mess it up. Maybe it's starting to happen to me too. I want to give him another chance. I know that what I thought it was like something it never really was but… it can be, right? It can happen? Can it?

I pray for your forgiveness Al. For all. I know you still cared… _care_ about our real father but I don't. And he'll never be in here even though I need it so much now. Forgive me.

* * *

Roy lied in his bed. The night was dark like autumn nights usually were. The days were getting darker. Matched to his mood. Probably to Ed's as well. 

Ed's screams still echoed in his mind. It was all he could hear. He was starting to wonder when he would end up deaf.

The door creaked open and Roy jumped to a sitting position. A little figure was on the doorway.

Ed. He couldn't see Ed's face because of the lack of light. Damn he had forgotten to listen to the kid in a moment he really needed to do it! Did Ed have something to hurt himself with? Was he planning to do it all in front of his eyes for revenge?

"Ed?" he asked. The door closed and Ed sat on his bed and hugged him.

"Fool."

What was happening? Why was he being confronted? Not that it didn't feel good, but… Ed was the one who needed it the most.

"Never do it again, you hear me? Start learning from your mistakes", Ed said. His voice was strong but it still sounded teary. Roy hugged Ed back.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I'm so sorry."

Ed broke to tears and buried himself in Roy's chest.

* * *

My last update before going to Spain. You're going to have to wait about a month for the next one... I apologize. But there's nothing I can really do about it. But I promise to write **at least** three more chapters when I get back. Maybe even more, I'm still a little unsure about how long this fic'll be. Thanks for your support and if you're worried weather you remember this fic after a looong month you can put the story in your story alert list! 

Alright people, this is a good bye for a month. I want reviews. Send me lots of reviews I can read before I'm going! I would be so happy!


	12. Rules

Hello to everyone again after a long pause! Actually I'm glad being back. It's so fun to write again. Though I'm feeling a little rusted... so please forgive it! I did my best and had a lot of fun with this new chappy. I hope you're on a humouristic mood as well. Or at least that this chappy would get you in the mood.

And about updates again... I'm doing my best, believe me, but school started again and that means that I won't probably have time to write a new chappy every day. But it doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing!

And thanks to all my awesome reaviewers again! I'm amazed how many I got! A nice surprise! I'm glad so many people have enjoyed the story so far. Really glad. Makes me feel liked at least somewhere. I'm pretty hated in school I guess... too bad. They can't see a pure personality without hating it. Stupid clones. But enough for my babbling! You must be dying for the long-waited new chappy! I'll talk more in the end!

Edited for spelling mistakes.

**Disclaimer: Dark Chocolate Alchemist does not own FMA.**

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 12  
**__Rules_

"I don't know if he wants Maes. He wasn't in a good mood last night and I'm not sure how he'll feel when he wakes up", Roy talked quietly and worriedly to the phone he was holding loosely on his right hand. The grey kitten was meowing and pushing his way around his feet time after time. He felt much busier than a month before when he had to worry only about himself. Now he had Ed and this new kitty to worry about as well.

"_Aww, but Roy I'm sure he'll like it. And it's not like he's getting another chance for it anytime soon! Just go and ask."_

"Go and ask? Didn't you listen to me, I told you he's still asleep!" Roy hissed to the phone.

"_So?"_

"…What the..? Do _you _wake Elysia up when she sleeps just to ask something?" Roy asked disbelievingly.

"_No. But she's Elysia. Oh, and do you want to know what he did last night with her make-up set, it was just so adorable-!"_

"No I don't, thank you very much. And what do you think would happen to me if I woke him up again? Probably get another black eye? Or broken bones? The ones he's already caused me hurt enough for now", he complained loudly before he even realized it. He slapped a hand on his mouth and listened carefully for a few seconds. No voices… thank god. He didn't wake Ed up.

"_Ooh, Roy's on a whiny whiny-mood! Then wait for a while for him to wake up. Call me back in an hour. And oh, about Elysia, are you really sure you don't want to-?"_

"YES. I don't want to hear anything about Elysia right now. You talk about her way too much…"

"_You talk a lot about Ed too but it doesn't mean I'm not listening!"_ Maes' hurt voice muttered on the other line. Roy blushed without even noticing it.

"I do not talk about Ed all the time!"

"_Oh yes you do. You mention him in every conversation nowadays…"_ Maes said teasingly.

Roy laughed. "I do not."

"_Yes you do. Just think about it. We're both the same… Ha__ hah, we're samies!"_

"We are not! I mention him because I think you want to hear how he's doing. But if it annoys you I'll stop. And what does samies mean?" he asked curiously.

"_Oh, it's just a word I invented. Doesn't it sound hilarious? And it doesn't annoy me to hear about Ed, and even if it did I bet you couldn't stop-"_

"You really wanna bet?" Roy snarled back defensively.

"_Oooh, I'd love to. Do you have a hundred?"_

Roy coughed. "A hundred? Are you really that sure?"

"_Is the little weepy-Roy scared..? Or do I sense it wrong..?"_

"SHUT UP!" Roy bellowed before realising what he was doing again. He slapped his hand on his mouth again, eyes widening. He heard a chuckle coming from the phone.

"…_Well if he didn't wake in that I'll be surprised. Call me in an hour OK? If you don't I just assume he killed you. Bye!"_

Toot… Toot…

Roy gulped. He was too used to living alone to have a phone conversation with Maes at the morning. He heard a low growl coming from Ed's room.

"…Roy… Come in here, I think we have to get through something…" the threatening voice echoed to his ears. He felt a sweat drop on his forehead.

"Oh, you're awake? How nice…" he started babbling.

"HERE. NOW."

Roy put his index fingers nervously together. "Why don't you talk from there and I'll just stay here listening..?"

"ARE YOU COMING OR NOT!? YOU CAN BE SO HAPPY FOR ME NOT HAVING MY LIMBS OR I WOULD'VE COMED IN THERE IN THIS TIME AND BEAT YOU UP SO BADLY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LIMBS YOURSELF! AND THAT HURTS YOU KNOW!"

"…I'm coming…" Roy muttered and walked to Ed door and opened it hesitantly. "Good morning…"

"You call this a _good _morning? It's fucking 8 o'clock!" Ed yelled so spit flew from his mouth. His eyes were only half open because of the lack of sleep. "Come 'ere, I'll kill you with my bare hands. Oh, I can't do that… Well I'll kill you with my bare _hand_."

"Sounds almost enticing…"

Ed sat up against the wall and pointed at him shaking with anger. "It should, it's an honour! You'll die as a fucking hero…"

"Fucking as adjective or verb?"

"…You… You… YOU PERVERT! ADJECTIVE! ADJECTIVE YOU IDIOT! OF COURSE IT'S AN ADJECTIVE!"

"I think I got it… Sorry, my bad…" Roy asked blushing. Sometimes he just forgot that he was talking to a mere child.

"Come here, I'm sick of waiting, we have to make a few things very clear if you want me to still live under your roof!"

Roy felt like walking to his doom once again when he stepped next to Ed who grabbed his collar violently.

"One: never _ever_ wake me up at morning!"

Roy tried to nod but Ed snatched his collar and stopped the movement.

"Two: no dirty talking/doing under this roof while I'm present!"

Ed threw Roy strongly back. "And Three: no lying. No pretending. No big, massive secrets the other one _should_ know. Are we clear?"

Roy rubbed his arm. "I think I got it. No waking up, no dirty stuff, no lying, no pretending and… and… what was the last one again? Something about secrets but there were just so many adjectives…"

"NO BIG, MASSIVE SECRETS THE OTHER SHOULD KNOW!"

"Oh I got it. No secrets the other one should know… err…"

Ed's eyebrows rose as he looked at Roy like a lion looks a zebra before attacking. "Don't say you have another 'confession to make'?"

Roy shook his head. "No. Not that I'd remember."

Oh, of course he did. But he was protecting Ed while keeping it a secret from him. He didn't need to know. He didn't need to find out about it just yet.

He didn't need to know that the killer had gotten no punishment for Al's murder.

Ed looked at him suspiciously. "Are you sure?"

He nodded confidently. "Yes. If something comes to my mind I'll come to you."

Ed's golden eyes were almost like piercing him, almost like _sensing_ he didn't tell everything. "You know I'll be mad if I find out your secrets another way?"

"You're always grumpy so it's easy to imagine…"

"NUMBER FOUR: NO INSULTS TOWARDS ME!"

"Hey, what about me!?" Roy asked angrily.

"Oh, I totally forgot. Thanks for reminding. Number five: as many insults towards you as possible", Ed growled maliciously. Roy crossed his arms.

"I'm not going to stop insulting you if you aren't going to stop insulting me", he said stubbornly. Ed gritted his teeth.

"Fine. Let's forget the two last ones."

"Good. Are we clear?"

"For now. I'll add new rules if they're needed."

"What about me? Can't I add them?"

Ed acted like thinking about it. "Hmm… no. I'm making the rules. But thanks for the offer."

"Kid."

"Oldster."

"I'm not oldster! I'm only 30 years old!"

"I'm not a kid either! I'm a teen-ager. If you want to overdo it, I'm going to make so too!" Ed spit back at him.

"Where did this fight start anyway?" Roy sighed. Ed scratched his forehead.

"You bloody bastard started screaming early in the morning and woke me up…" he muttered.

"Oh yeah. Which reminds me that Maes asked us to come and swim with the others in a lake a few hours drive away. Clothes on, it'll be fun. Though Riza never swims with her clothes on… weird, you'd believe she'd do that rather than wear swimsuits or bikinis… not that they look bad on her… actually she's pretty attractive that way…"

"Idiot. I can't swim with a metal arm. I'll sink."

Roy shook his finger. "No Edward. This time you're the idiot." Ed drew in a furious breath. "You don't have automail right now."

For a moment Ed seemed surprised before a faint blush rose on his cheeks. "I knew that", he defended himself. Roy chuckled.

"I bet you did Ed, I bet you did…" he teased. Ed growled angrily.

"But it's not like I can swim without limbs anyway. I'll skip but thanks for the offer anyway."

"Come on Ed. It's not like you'll drown when we're around you."

"But it won't be fun either. Besides, I'm not even sure if I'd remember how to swim with limbs anyway, never mind I'm missing two. I really don't want to go", Ed said stubbornly and shook his head.

"Then I guess I just have to drag you there."

"You wouldn't do that!"

Roy laughed. "Don't tell me what I would do and what I wouldn't. You're just giving me a good laugh. I'll go and call Maes back to pick us up."

"HEY! I'M NOT COMING, YOU HEAR ME? I'M NOT COMING! COME BACK! HEY! BACK HERE MUSTANG OR-! ROY!? _BACK RIGHT NOW_!!!"

Roy ignored the screams of pure hatred and fury behind him and raised the phone again and tapped Maes' number. God, Ed was just so loud…

"WHATEVER YOU'RE PLANNING, I'M NOT FUCKING COMING!"

"I wouldn't believe you'd come _fucking_ anyway…" He muttered.

"WHAT DID WE TALK ABOUT DIRTY TALKING!?!?"

Damn the kid had sharp ears even while screaming…

"_Roy? Are you dying or fine?"_

Roy grinned. "No more options? What about 'escaped with a few bruises and a horrible amount of screaming'? Not an option? Then I guess 'fine' is closer."

"ROY, BACK HERE, I WANT TO SLAM YOU SO HARD YOU'LL HAVE A BRUISE FOREVER!"

"_Is that the 'horrible amount of screaming' you mentioned?"_

"Yeah. My ears are ringing…"

"ROY ARE YOU COMING OR AM I GOING TO CRAWL IN THERE!?"

"_Why don't you just go to the poor boy…?"_ Maes laughed on the other line.

"He's everything but a 'poor boy'. Or actually he isn't. But anyway. He has a nasty side. And do you honestly believe I'd go to him while he's screaming that loudly?"

"_Hmm… Not sure. I guess you wouldn't. And nasty side? I'm not sure if I've ever really seen that… he's always been such a polite little boy…"_

Now it was Roy's turn to laugh. "And you call that polite? Come and spend a day in here and you'll find out how polite he really is."

"THAT'S ENOUGH ROY! I'M COMING!"

"But anyway about that swimming thing… were coming. Just pick us up, OK? And I need a few people to drag him in the car. And remember to warn them not to underestimate him… he can be a nasty piece of work."

"_OK Roy! We're taking two cars, mine and Riza's. _

Maes ignored his line. _"I just can't take Havoc and Breda for a few hours… God, I'll go crazy with that cigarette of Havoc's…"_

"I bet you do…"

"FUCK YOU ROY!"

"Wow, he got out of his room. If he keeps his speed on I'd say we have about 30 seconds time to talk."

"_Okay Roy! He's really slow."_

"I HEARD THAT TOO! I'M NOT SLOW; I JUST GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE FUCKING DOOR!"

"I bet you did, Ed."

"_Me too."_

"………YOU GUYS ARE SO DEAD! NJAAH!"

"Uh oh, he's speeding up. New calculation: 7 seconds left. Then I have to flee or I'm going to be his first victim."

"…_Hmm. I'm starting to plan to leave you to Riza after that sentence Roy. Just kidding! Be alive with little Eddy when I arrive! See ya!"_

"LITTLE EDDY!? LITTLE EDDY!?!?!?!"

"Got to flee. Bye."

"_By-"_

SLAM.

"HAA! GOTCHA!"

"NOOO! HAVE MERCY!"

"I HAVE NO MERCY!"

"Aaargh! Damn it Maes, get in here soon…!"

* * *

Trust me, you don't want to know what happened to our poor old Roy Let's just say it was ugly and bloody. VERY ugly and bloody. 

And the fact that I'm back doesn't mean you're skipping the reviewing part! It means you're going to put more reviews than ever, OK? Make a new record! Whoo! Light up my dark days!


	13. Weak

Sorry for updating this late! Just to make up the long wait once again I'm giving you and extra long chapter! Enjoy, it's a few pages longer than usually. I had problems fitting all I wanted in but I didn't want to make another chapter for it too. And then all the ideas I got while writing too. Well, I guess you just enjoy the fact it's longer. So have fun!

And yeah, answers to a few regular questions of the reviewers: yup, I had a pretty good time in Spain. I got back to my another home! Yay! And no, I'm not English. I'm Finnish. English is not even my motherlanguage. Nice to hear someone thought so! That means I don't suck _that badly _in English.

Edited for spelling mistakes...

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. That's it.**

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 13  
**__Weak_

"Roy, you there?" Maes yelled after knocking the door. Jean Havoc (who he had unfortunately gotten with him) and Vato Falman were standing hesitantly next to him, Havoc chewing his cigarette so that he'd soon need another one and Falman moving his legs nervously.

"Hughes, you really think this is a good idea?" Havoc asked and crossed his arms. "Trying to drag Ed unwillingly in the car might be the last thing we'll ever do and you know it."

Falman straightened his posture. "I'm agreeing with Havoc. He has some interesting psychological-"

"Stop babbling you two. There's four strong, _big _men dragging one _tiny_ little boy with only two limbs in the car. What could possibly happen?" Maes laughed openly. "Hey I think I hear something."

The door opened and they all drew in a horrified breath.

Ed was standing with his only remaining foot, leaning on the door with his left side, holding Roy from his collar. The poor man flinched and raised his face with _two _black eyes, even worse looking nose and swollen lips which appeared to be harmed by Roy's own teeth. Never mind all the other bruises and swollen, bloody fingers.

"You're late Maes", he said simply and tried to raise his eyebrows but gave up because of the headache. Ed smirked like a little devil. Suddenly he seemed over hundred times more dangerous than before.

Havoc had to turn around to hide his silent out burst. Not that he managed to do it anyway. Honestly, Roy had gotten that badly beaten up by a mere _child_ with two limbs. And the kid seemed to have only a few bruises which were hardly visible.

"Hello gentlemen. Are you taking this fucking shit-head with you and let me go back to sleep? His lecturing really took my energy away", Ed said cheerfully and lifted Roy in the air and threw towards Maes who cached his friend and helped him to stand up straight.

"Like I said… _never _underestimate him", Roy spat out.

Falman paled and Maes started chuckling. Ed looked at him dangerously.

"You making fun of me!?"

The chuckling stopped immediately. Maes opened his mouth but it took a while for him to get out any kind of cheeps.

"Of course not. We'll be going, Roy should be back at night-"

"I can't leave him alone!" Roy complained with shut eyes.

"-we'll see you then. Have a good sleep", he finished his sentence, ignoring Roy's completely.

"Hey, didn't you listen, you know I can't-"Roy started angrily but Havoc started dragging him to the car.

"Trust us chief. He won't be alone for long", he whispered to Roy's ear. Roy looked at him suspiciously. Then a thought hit him.

"No, you've got to be kidding me! You're not planning to come down the chimney again and attack him when he least expects it! He's going to get a heart attack!" he cried out. Havoc winked at him.

"Come on, it works and you know it! It worked for you, Breda and me."

Roy laughed. "I have to admit. But still. It's so… _childish_. If people ever find out about it, they're going to get a good laugh."

"We can't even imagine how big", Havoc answered with a serious face. But inside, as both of the men knew, he was fighting hard for not starting to laugh.

"And I feel like Santa Claus while doing it."

This time Havoc could not hide his loud outburst.

* * *

Ed closed the door and sighed. At last he was _alone_. And for the whole day! What should he do? 

Well… there were knives in the kitchen… the tub in the bathroom…

He yawned. No reason to hurry… He had the whole day… He could take a little nap at first, right? For the last time.

He hesitated. What if they'd come back sooner? Roy wasn't really feeling well, he had caused it by himself. The man had been almost begging for him to give him a hard hit right at his face. But while doing that he had not thought about probably getting a day alone.

…What was the point of sleeping if he'd die anyway? He'd probably get a good rest after he had died.

Maybe he'd even see Al again. And mum. Who knows?

The shivers of excitement ran up his spine. It was not that he didn't want to live, somehow he just… couldn't. He felt so far away from everyone else even when they were right next to him. Maybe even patting his head like Roy.

The hardest part of this was probably leaving Roy.

Nah, he was making himself laugh, he thought and chuckled a little. How long had it been since he had done that again? Well it had been a while… Felt good.

He started to hesitate again. But what if Roy would be sad? He didn't want him to cry… Not that Roy was a person to cry… but death changed people. Would Roy cry for him? Would he really do it? Would he get depressed and start drinking and ruin his life?

No, no, no, stop thinking of others and start thinking about yourself, you idiot, his mind screamed to him. True again… when was the last time he had really, really done something for his sake? He had been so busy taking care of others, putting their needs over his… he had totally forgotten about himself. Roy would be fine. He would probably sigh out of relief when he would see his body and know that he didn't have to take care of him anymore.

Somehow the thought of it was more depressing than relieving.

HE HAD TO STOP THIS STUPID THINKING AND HURRY UP BEFORE ROY WOULD TURN THE OTHER'S HEADS TO TAKE HIM BACK! This stupid battle with his mind wasn't getting anywhere!

He started crawling to the kitchen. Damn, he really was slow. No wonder Roy was joking about it with Hughes. Those two irritating bastards. They never thought about others! Well, not quite so. Hughes did think about Elysia… And Gracia too.

He took a big and sharp knife on his hand and caressed its edge nervously unaware of other people watching him startled from the doorframe.

Did he even have the guts to do it? His hands started shaking even for the idea of it now that he had the knife on his hand. OK, calm down, he told himself hastily, just one cut deep enough to get the blood flow out of his body to his neck and everything would be over sooner than he even thought.

He moved the knife a few inches away from his neck and started to panic. No, no! He couldn't do it! But… but he _had _to do it! He knew himself, he knew he wasn't able to carry on without Al! Al had been the only one left… The only one who listened, who encouraged, who_ cared_, who _loved_ him. He felt tears in his eyes. God, no, he wasn't going to cry. He was ashamed of himself and bit his lip and tasted the bitter taste of blood on his mouth. Come on, it couldn't be that hard. Just one cut. One quick cut and then he'd just have to wait. Al would want him to be with him.

He felt the cold edge of the knife touch his skin. Just do it. Do it. He took in a deep breath. Then another. Then another again.

He couldn't do it.

Damn he was weak.

He felt anger rise up in his chest and screamed out of it, trying to suppress his feelings. He threw the knife far to his right.

"TAKE HIM!" he heard a familiar voice scream. His head shot up but before he could even completely understand the fact that there was someone… no, some _other people_ in the room with him he was carried farer away from the knife. He started to panic again and started struggling against the strong hands and screamed. He was laid down to the couch and he felt a few arms letting go and only two around him, hugging tight.

"Edward, you idiot..! Never do that again, _never_ do it again, you scared the hell out of me you little…!"

Ed was shocked to feel something wet on his shoulder. Had he hurt himself!? …But… no, the knife wasn't even near his shoulder… But then it meant…?

No… he couldn't really be crying? He was surely imaging things? Probably having hallucinations. Maybe he should eat well once again, he was losing weight with a huge speed.

Roy patted his head and cupped his cheeks to his hands and looked at him angrily. He really did have a few tears on his eyes!

"Never again Ed, you hear me?! Never!"

His words echoed in his mind, making him hear them over and over again, making him feel ashamed of his actions, ashamed of making him cry, ashamed of all…

"…I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry..!" he cried and buried his face in Roy's chest.

"…We'll wait outside", Havoc muttered and took Hughes from his hand and started dragging him out, Falman following them like a well-trained dog.

"…I'm so sorry, Roy… I'm just so-" he sobbed desperately but Roy hugged him tighter and started rocking gently.

"Just never do it again, OK? Never again. I was just so scared…" Roy said and stroke his hair. "OK, now we need to take our minds somewhere else."

"…It isn't healthy…"

"It isn't healthy to think about it right now either." Roy stood. "You know that we… all of us just want the best of you."

He nodded silently. Roy picked him up and managed to smile a little when Ed snarled angrily.

"I'm in a bad mood already and a freakishly tall person carrying me around isn't actually what I want right now."

"You'll get used to it. I'm not in the most perfect mood either right now and carrying you around is exactly what I want right now. Makes me feel better."

"You're selfish."

"No I'm not. Look in the mirror, Ed", Roy snarled angrily.

"Look in the mirror yourself. I'm everything else but selfish." Ed's hands started shaking again when he said it. Roy looked at him worriedly.

"Are you sure you're fine?" he asked when he opened the door.

"…Just tired that's all. For now."

"OK then. Here we go. And we'll talk about this later. And if I see you doing something as stupid ever again you're going to be grounded forever."

Yeah, Ed thought, it's not like I don't feel grounded forever right now.

* * *

Ed had soon fallen asleep and they could hear his tired snoring against the window on the left backseat. The whole car was quiet. The only voices coming inside the car, except for Ed's snoring, was Maes driving the car and Havoc chewing his cigarette. 

"You know… that was close. Back in the house I mean", Havoc said an hour later. Falman nodded but Roy and Maes made no sound or movement.

"I was so scared when I saw him holding the knife. Did you see the look in his eyes? For a while it seemed like he was really going to do it."

"Shut up Havoc. I don't want to remember that right now", Roy snarled and breathed out strongly.

"…But chief… it's better if you talk about it. If you bottle it in, you're going to end up like him", Havoc said. Falman looked at him warningly.

"…He's gotten through more. He's been bottling all his strong feelings, except for anger, in for years. He had to go nuts someday."

"I don't think he's crazy. He's just depressed", Falman voiced his opinion hesitantly.

"Not just depressed. His badly depressed", Roy said slowly. "I've seen him having a few breakdowns and hearing him talking about death but I never really… I never really thought he'd try to do it again. I thought he was improving." He scratched his nose. "I should've known something was badly wrong. If he has breakdowns, it's deathly serious. He's reached his limit."

"It's not your fault Roy", Maes opened his mouth for the first time after the incident. Roy looked at him.

"You're wrong Maes."

"No I'm not. You know nothing about children. You don't know Ed that well either. It was impossible to predict. Don't blame yourself."

Roy rested his head back against the chair and used the mirror to look back at the sleeping Ed.

"OK. But I'm not going to give him another chance. Today was too close."

* * *

"I won you Riza! What do you say now?" Maes yelled happily immediately after stepping out of the car. She smiled at him wickedly. 

"I let you win. You've lost now 4 years consecutively. It was time for you to win."

"Lies and lies Riza… Oh, I wouldn't have believed that from you!"

Riza sighed. "Whatever you say Maes. Did you have a pleasant drive?"

They all looked at each others. Roy coughed. "I'm going to wake Ed up."

Riza's eyes narrowed and Breda raised his eyebrows. Fuery looked at them nervously.

"Problems? And where did Roy get all his injuries?"

Maes scratched his chin. "Ed hasn't been in a good mood." Riza raised her eyebrows waiting for a longer explanation. Maes just flanged his hand. "I'll tell you more later. But everything's alright for now."

"Let me help you!"

"I don't want to be carried again, Mustang-!"

"Mustang? Now you're calling me Mustang again! Alright Elric!"

"I hate being weak, let me stand on my own feet-"

"Your own _foot_ you mean!"

"I don't fucking care!"

"What have we talked about cursing Ed!? Clean your mouth!"

"Never!"

Breda shook his head. "We should've known it would be like this if we invite Ed too. It's just impossible to keep those two in the same place without an argue."

"Arguing is one of the symptoms of caring and loving, so-" Falman started but was cut short when Roy finally did pick Ed up in the air and his furious screaming covered all the other voices.

"Edward, you better stop screaming and behave or I'm going to shoot you. And I mean it", Riza snarled. Roy snarled back to her.

"You wouldn't. Why don't you rather put him with the Armstrongs for a month", he muttered. Ed paled.

"Never", he hissed.

"Just stop it. This is the last time I'm asking."

And they could read from her voice that she really meant it. So they all shut up. Especially Ed with a horrible image of being dragged to the Armstrongs for a month in his head.

"Well here we are", Havoc said happily. "Can't wait to get in the water. Come on, let's race! Who's racing with me?"

Breda agreed and they started running towards the water, Falman following them peacefully. Ed snarled on Roy's shoulder.

"If you're planning to go in the water, please put me down here. I'm not coming."

Roy sighed. "Come on Ed. It'll be fun."

"Would you like to try to swim after almost 7 years' break with only two limbs?" Ed muttered back. Fuery tapped Roy's free shoulder.

"I'm not planning to go in the water just yet. I can look after him for a while."

"Would you do that? You don't have to if you don't want to."

Fuery smiled. "I sort of forgot breakfast and I'm pretty hungry. Havoc took sandwiches to eat for all so I can eat a few."

Ed looked at Fuery happily. "I didn't get breakfast either. Can I get a few?"

Maes came from their back laughing. "Don't worry Roy, he's going to be much happier with a few sandwiches. Come to swim. Riza's there already too. She has her bikinis on again, remember the blue ones she wore last year too? We're the last ones."

Roy looked at Ed hesitantly. Ed snarled.

"Roy, I can take care of myself. I'm having a guard here. And I'm hungry. If you don't let me eat something I might decide to become a cannibal."

Roy smiled. Ed sounded like his old self. "In that case maybe it's better to leave you here."

"Now we're talking. So Fuery, where are the sandwiches?" Ed asked when Roy put him on the rocks. After that he started running with Maes to the water.

"He's his old self. I don't even remember the last time he ate properly."

Maes smirked. "You never answered if your really going to bet for hundred."

Roy glanced angrily at his friend. "I think I'll skip."

Maes pointed at him and laughed. "Haa! I knew you wouldn't do it!"

Roy pushed Maes under water.

* * *

"Come on Ed! We're leaving in an hour. All this time you've just been sitting here and eating… sandwiches", Roy tried to over talk Ed in the water. Ed raised his index finger angrily. 

"I ate an apple too."

"Still. If you're not coming willingly, you're coming unwillingly." Roy smirked his trade mark and Ed felt shivers run up and down his spine.

"Stop it. I don't want to. I'm not really into swimming. And I can't swim like this so it's only a waist of time. You'd have to carry me all the time and I don't like people carrying me around", he argued.

"Ed, you may never get another chance!"

"I don't care. As I said, I'm not that much into it." He started looking at his fingernails. He seemed to have an obsession of keeping them clean.

"Unwillingly then", Roy said maliciously and lifted Ed in the air once again. The child started wiggling.

"Let me down! I mean it Roy!"

"No you don't."

"I do!"

"ROY! NOT TO THE WATER! PLEASE! NO! HELP ME!" Ed screamed as Roy put Ed in water so only his head was on the surface. Ed breathed heavily.

"You… YOU IDIOT! I hate you! Look what you've done, I'm wet!"

All the others were chuckling about ten meters farer away. Ed threw water on Roy's face.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, bastard."

Roy threw water on Ed's face. For a while the kid seemed stunned.

"You… you… I'M MAKING YOU SUFFER MUSTANG!"

"Oh, I'm so scared!" Roy laughed. Ed looked at him deadly seriously. "What are you going to do? Rip my limbs off?"

Ed smiled maliciously. "I'm going to drink your coffee."

Roy looked at Ed looking stunned. "How'd you know coffee's my weak spot?"

Ed's grin widened. "It was easy to guess. You drink coffee a few times a day and you check that the packet is still there after every three hours."

"…Stupid kid…"

"If I were you, I'd get me back to the beach again."

It was no surprise Roy obeyed him. His dear coffee was too big prize for teasing Ed.

* * *

At the way back Roy, Ed and Fuery were in Riza's car. Even though the plan was to spend only about three hours in the beach the time had stretched a little and it was over midnight when they stopped at Fuery's home. 

"I'm too sleepy to drive this car much longer."

Roy whined. "You don't mean we have to walk…?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not that cruel-" ('Wow', Ed and Roy both thought) "-you can sleep over my place. Only one night."

"I guess it's OK. If you just have sheets for us all", Roy answered sleepily. Ed yawned on the backseat.

A few minutes later they arrived to Riza's small but tidy and cosy apartment. Ed looked around a little sleepily. He excused himself to visit the toilet and let Riza and Roy alone for a while. Riza started making beds with Roy's help.

"Nobody really told me what happened today morning", she said seriously. Roy sighed.

"Is that the reason you invited us over?"

She nodded. "Yes. But not only that. Roy, I want to know if he's alright. He's part of our little group even if he's not in the military anymore. We've lost one of us, we don't want to lose another one too. It would be no fun with all the kids gone. So please, tell me. Maybe I can help."

Roy scratched his hair. "I'm not sure if you're able to help."

"Tell me anyway. Or I'm going to shoot you. And I'd really do that." The look in her auburn eyes was deathly serious once again. So Roy told her everything as quickly as possible to avoid Ed hearing. In the end she shook her head miserably.

"Poor little boy."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE, YOU-!?" Ed screamed as he came to the guestroom slamming the door violently open.

"No slamming the door's in my house Edward. And you must've heard something wrong. Nobody called anyone little."

God, she's a good liar too, Roy thought. Ed looked at Roy briefly and snorted.

"You're lying. I can see it in Roy's face."

Well, it was a pity he wasn't a good liar too.

"Silent Ed or you're really going to have a long visit with the Armstrongs like Roy suggested", Riza said calmly. Ed glanced furiously at Roy. Damn the man.

He crawled to his bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Okay, before you start asking why I mentioned Roy, Havoc, Falman and Hughes from the beginning of the Ed and the knife-scene but didn't make them act any sooner than after Ed threw the knife away, here's my answer: they were scared. They were scared that Ed would start panicing even more and slice his throat. So that's why the wait. With that they at least had some chance. 

Can you drop me a review again? I'd be so happy!


	14. Shattering mind

Big thanks to all my amazing reviewers again! And I don't mind hearing about my spelling mistakes, actually I'm happy when people point them out. How could I otherwise learn anything? So no worries, just tell me if I make mistakes so I can avoid doing them again! 

This chappy got a little long too... hehee... well, have fun with it!

Edited for spelling mistakes. Oh, I'm getting bored doing this...

**And adding the disclaimer once again: Don't own FMA.**

**

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILTY**

_**Chapter 14  
**__Shattering mind_

Ed woke up breathing heavily and seeing the room completely dark. He's eyes were wandering in a paranoid way in the shadows imaging all horrible monsters and nightmarish things of his past.

No, don't believe in them, they're not real, he tried to convince himself and shut his eyes tightly.

"_Why couldn't you fix me right, Edward?"_

"_How could you let it happen, brother…? I trusted you!"_

"No, no, no", he whined silently and drew his leg closer to himself and covered himself with his blanket. But it was dark under it too. Actually darker than without it.

"_Brother, you idiot..! You said you'd never leave me, you said we'd be together forever..!"_

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..! I mean it, please, Al… I'm so sorry..!" he sobbed silently and tried to cover his ears, which didn't work very well with only one arm. He cried fearfully and tried to shut all the voices out.

"…Ed..?" he heard a moan once again and tried to bury his head in his pillow.

"Leave me alone, just leave me alone..! Please let me be… I'm so sorry!" he begged incomprehensively against his pillow. Roy sighed.

"Ed it's me. Roy. And there's no one else in here."

Ed shot up and looked at Roy. He looked a little frightening in the dark with his black hair and pale skin. He couldn't really see his face in the dark.

"They're here… they're… they're whispering to me! They're just so… I'm so guilty!" he cried out desperately. "I'm just so guilty for everything!"

Roy moaned sleepily and got up and walked to Ed and hugged him. "It's not your fault, OK? If Riza wakes up, we're dead. I suggest you try to calm down."

Ed bit his lip and swallowed a few times, trying to block it all in once again. He managed to hold his tears for a while. Roy looked at him encouragingly. Then he broke again.

"I can't!" he sobbed. Roy rolled his eyes, thanking the night for not letting Ed see it. He stroke Ed's hair.

"You're not weak, Ed. Don't give up", he whispered. Ed shook his head quickly.

"I'm not strong! I'm not as strong as all you think! I have my limits too!"

"Shh. Of course you do, Ed. Nobody's unbreakable. We all have limits." He guided Ed's head on his shoulder. Ed sniffed.

"I can't live like this", he whispered and Roy felt Ed's nails burying painfully on his arm. He refused to cry out.

"It won't be like this forever. It'll change. You just have to wait a while longer."

"It won't change it. For my whole life he was here. He was the one who kept me living. I can't carry on without him. He was everything."

Roy rubbed Ed's back gently. "He may have been the most of it… but he wasn't everything, you just have to see it."

Ed gagged. "Roy, I'm feeling sort of funny."

"Funny?" Roy asked disbelievingly. Who used the word 'funny' in a conversation like this?

"Mm-hmm. My stomach hurts and head aches. And I'm tired." Ed cuddled Roy sleepily and the older man sighed.

"You're probably sleeping and eating too little. Come on, get some rest." He removed his arms from Ed and the child panicked and grabbed his wrist tightly.

"Don't leave me! Please don't, they'll come back, they'll come back and cry, I hate hearing people cry, I-" he sobbed but stopped when Roy hugged him tightly.

"What if we'd move these beds a little closer and I'd hold your hand till you fall asleep?"

Ed hesitated a moment before nodding silently. Roy moved his bed next to Ed's and watched the boy squeezing his blankets tight with unnaturally stiff posture.

"Come here", he said and entwined his arms. Ed quickly cuddled in them quickly. Roy sighed "OK, I guess it's fine that way too."

It took only a while from Ed to fall back asleep in Roy's protecting arms, his head buried against Roy's chest. But it took a longer while from Roy to fall asleep. His mind was so messed up.

Would he ever have the power to save Ed?

* * *

Riza woke up early in the next morning and stretched her hands. She got up and yawned while walking to the kitchen, Black Hayate following her loyally. She could read from the dog's eyes that it was hungry and smiled. Black Hayate being hungry reminded her about Roy mentioning the day before about a kitty. It was probably hungry too. Well, it wasn't like the cat was going to die in hunger during only one day. 

She fed her dog with usual commands before allowing it to eat and started preparing coffee, making sure to save some for Roy and Ed too.

After she had poured her first glass there was a knock in the door.

She opened the door angrily wondering who the hell had the guts to show up this early. It wasn't even eight o'clock yet!

She sighed as she saw Hughes' excited face.

"I assume Roppy-poppy and Little Eddy are here?" he asked cheerfully. Riza looked at him suspiciously.

"Yes. But they're still asleep, so if you came to see them, I'm sorry to disappoint you", she answered calmly. She was surprised to see a happy smile on Maes' face as he took his camera.

"Can I get a photo!? This is just something I _have_ to perpetuate and I may never get another chance? Pretty please?!" he asked with his puppy eyes.

Riza crossed her arms. "I'm not letting you come in, Maes. You'll wake them up with your loud chuckling and they both seemed extremely tired. Especially Ed."

"Then you can take it for me! I'm not leaving without a few photos."

"No, Maes. I think you are. I have my gun in here."

"You wouldn't shoot a father of a four year old child?" Maes asked innocently. Riza sighed.

"Try me and I really might."

"Talking about Elysia, I have to show you my most recent photos-"

Riza grabbed the camera and slammed the door against Maes' face before the man got any idea what had happened. Whoever would've chosen the option she did.

She opened the door and was surprised to find the two bed's right next to each other's, Ed sleeping in Roy's strong arms. She looked at them in an adoring way before taking a few photos. Maybe she'd ask Maes to give her one too. This was a whole new side of Roy to her. And she couldn't deny liking it.

Ed squeezed his eyes and cuddled closer to Roy muttering something with a low voice and Riza couldn't help but kneel down for a while and stroke his hair a few times. The boy seemed to relax even more. His face was almost peaceful. Almost.

She got up and walked back to the door and gave the camera back to Maes.

"Give me one of them too."

"Only if you put it in frames."

"It's a deal then."

* * *

After about fifteen minutes Ed woke up feeling really bad. He felt like puking, his mind didn't really concentrate in anything else but trying to hold it back. He hit Roy in the head. 

"Oww… Ed, what the..?" the man muttered and opened his eyes slowly to see the slightly green-faced teen in front of him keeping a hand over his mouth. It didn't take further explanation to realise what was going on and he carried Ed quickly to the bathroom.

"Roy what the..?" Riza asked as he ran over her. Her question was answered with a loud and disgusting voice coming from the bathroom. "God, no…" she muttered.

Roy tried not to breathe through his nose for once while holding Ed's long hair back. The boy gagged but nothing more came.

"…Do you have any water…?" Ed asked tiredly and wiped his mouth. It didn't take long from Riza to give him a glass which he emptied gratefully.

"Can I go back to sleep now?" he asked as Roy flushed the toilet trying not to puke himself. Riza sighed.

"Roy, we've got to be at work in an half an hour", she stated looking at her watch. Roy turned to her disbelievingly.

"You've got to be kidding me! He's sick, I can't leave him alone and I can't find anyone to look after him in this short time!"

She shook her head. "Sorry Roy, but I can't help. You've already used all your free days and the law thinks he's old enough to look after himself if he gets sick so his parents, guardians or whoever can't skip job because of it."

"What are you suggesting? That I'd take him to work puking to my ear?"

"Not to your ear, in a bucket. You can borrow one of mines."

"Please, Riza, no. And if that Winry-girl managed to catch a train the night I called her she should get here today if there haven't been any problems, which I doubt."

Ed shook his head aguishly. "God, no. You've got to be kidding me. Tell me that's a made-up excuse Roy, I really don't want to see her now in this situation."

Roy didn't answer and the kid started snarling miserably. All they could do was hope that it would go over quickly and drag Ed with.

Unluckily, it didn't go away with only one time of puking.

"Hi all. Is everyone here?" Roy asked as he helped Ed to the couch, put the bucket with a little water in the bottom of it and a bottle of water next to Ed.

"Thanks", the teen muttered. "Do you have a blanket?"

Roy shook his head but threw his jacket to Ed. The staff looked at them a little worriedly.

"Is something wrong?" Breda finally asked.

"Apparently a bug has hit him. Hopefully it'll go away soon", Roy said trying to calm everyone down. The sound of Ed puking again behind him on the couch didn't help one bit. The officers started all breathing through their mouths. Funny sight.

"Where's Fuery?" Roy asked worriedly.

"Sick too", Falman answered quickly. "Maybe there was something wrong with your sandwiches, Havoc."

"Blaming me!?" Havoc snapped back.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP!" Ed bellowed from the couch after sipping a little water.

"Alright people, back to work. Don't let it distract you, just… work, OK?" Roy commanded and sat behind his desk which was covered with today's paperwork. When had the piles gotten so big?

* * *

About 16.17 the door slammed open with a blond sky blue-eyed girl rushing in the room with a wrench in her hand. She looked at the officers furiously. 

"Where is that reckless pipsqueak whose brains appear to be made of complete and pure shit of a cow and who can't even protect the last person of his family in the case of danger?!?! WHERE IS THAT WEAK LITTLE BASTARD SOME OF YOU CALL MR. ELRIC!?!?"

All of the fingers pointed quickly to the door which led to Roy's office. Winry was as scary sight to see angry as 1st lieutenant Hawkeye. Suddenly it was hard to decide which one they would choose to deal with rather.

Winry stepped in Roy's room slamming the door shut so the glass almost shattered to pieces. Before Roy had any idea of what was happening. She was hacking Ed with her wrench so hard it seemed to never stop. Ed didn't even wince.

"YOU IDIOT! How could you Edward!? We all trusted in you! We trusted that YOU COULD TAKE CARE OF YOUR BROTHER!!! If we'd know it would end up this way we'd never let you go! You're coming home now, I'm sick of this place, I'm sick of yelling at you if it never really reaches your useless brains! I'm going to torture you for weeks, you idiot, and then I'm going to kill you slowly and painfully so you'll have time to think about your good, polite, _loving_ brother many times before ending up in hell where you belong, you… you…! I CAN'T EVEN SAY A WORD POWERFUL ENOUGH! YOU DISGUST ME, ED!"

Ed was starting to turn green again. Roy, already knowing the symptom opened his mouth quickly.

"Winry, you'd better step back quickly so he can-!"

"DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH THIS PIECE OF SHIT-!"

Her voice faded when Ed couldn't hold in any longer but let it all come up. Right over Winry who looked at herself with a disgusted look on her face. She whacked Ed with the wrench again.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID, WHAT'S THE POINT OF SOMETHING AS LOW AS YOU EVEN LIVING!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, WHERE DID THE CHILD I ONCE KNEW GO, EDWARD?! AND WHERE DID HIS BROTHER GO TOO!? WHERE DID HIS BROTHER GO!? SAY IT TO ME!" She screamed with tears starting to develop in her eyes. Ed just stared.

Winry hit him again, Roy was starting to panic from seeing all the blood around the boy who wasn't even defending himself from this unfair attack. It wasn't Ed's fault, for God's sake! He stepped in and threw Winry's wrench out of the window.

"CAN YOU STOP IT, PLEASE!?" he yelled back to her. Never had he gotten the courage to scream at someone so scary. But now he had someone to protect for doing so. "I think I have to have a few words with you, Miss Rockbell", he continued coldly. She shook her head furiously and wiped her tears away.

"It's not like I want to ever see him again. I'll just go", she sobbed but Roy took her hand. Ed had frozen and curled himself up on the couch. He seemed miserable and Roy swore his shoulders were shaking. He knew that right now he had to be there for Edward, but he also knew that he had to be with Winry. Damn, when did he become a fucking babysitter!?"

Riza stepped in the room with a new pile of papers but froze to the door watching the scene in front of her. She shook her head.

"You can shower at my place. It's not far away", she said and started dragging Winry away in a comforting way. Roy looked at her seriously. Riza let her eyes lay a while on Ed's bloody and shaking figure. He nodded to Roy and guided the crying girl away.

"Okay people, I need you to clean this mess up!" he yelled to the officers. If they hadn't seen that right now Roy needed to be with Ed they would've complained for making them do the dirty work. But the look in both of their eyes was enough to persuade them to give up and just do what they were told to do.

* * *

Winry came from the shower with clean clothes on, her eyes still red and watery. Riza looked at her seriously. 

"I think we need to have a little word about this situation", she said calmly and motioned Winry to sit on her couch which she did, looking a little unwilling.

"I don't want to talk about him."

Riza shook her head. "Do you even know what happened?"

Winry looked at her angrily. "They were running in somewhere and apparently got in a fight again. Al's dead. It was Ed's responsibility to look after him. He failed." She was starting to cry again.

"Yes and no. Actually they were coming back from a mission to report back in Central. Then they just disappeared for a few days." At this point Winry raised her eyebrows. "They were kidnapped. Ed was tied to a chair for all those days being tortured. Al was ripped to pieces. We don't know when, but apparently this kidnapper wiped of the bloodseal right in front of Ed's eyes. He wasn't able to do anything."

"I don't believe that."

"Look in his eyes and you'll see the truth. He feels horrible, Winry. Right now he doesn't need you screaming at him and blaming him for everything. He's not doing well. I don't think you noticed it but he's totally broken."

Winry's gaze was starting to change ashamed. She lowered her head. "Why didn't he call me? If he'd just… if he'd just called me…"

"I guess, and this really is a pure guess, it can be completely wrong, but he didn't want to upset you. He didn't want to see you cry, Winry, because he cares. And he didn't want to face the thing that Al's never coming back. You remind him of Al. You three were always together. Now one of you is gone. It isn't easy for him."

Winry wiped her tears away. "How's he doing? Is he okay?"

Riza sighed. "I wish I'd be able to say that."

Winry raised her head again and looked at her pleadingly. "What's going on?"

"Winry, he's having hard time getting over Alphonse. He's doing really badly. I think Roy has helped him a bit but not enough. He needs all the support he can have."

Winry shook her head. "What has he done now?"

"He wants to die Winry. There have been a few really close moments. One was just yesterday. He almost sliced his throat from what I've heard." Winry paled. "Winry, you have to be here for him. You have to care for him, you have to go and apologize and support him. Maybe giving him new limbs would help. I can see Roy's back has started to hurt from carrying him around so much." She made a small smile. "We need all the help we can get, and I'm sure you'll want him to get better too."

Winry buried her face in her hands and started crying again. "I'm so stupid. I should've never yelled at him. I'm so sorry..!"

"Then let's go back and apologize", Riza said with a comforting smile and hug.

* * *

"Ed, it's not your fault." 

Ed had been deadly silent since the moment with Winry. Roy was keeping him on his lap and hugging but the kid was not reacting at all.

"Don't bottle it in, please Ed. You can talk to me, you know you can tell me everything. Bottling it in just makes it worse."

Ed turned his head to him with a broken look on his face. "She was right", he whispered with a hoarse voice. Roy shook his head.

"She was far from right, Ed."

Ed shook his head slowly. "She wasn't. I couldn't even take care of my little brother. What kind of person am I?" Tears were falling down his cheeks. "And I made her cry again."

"It was not your fault Ed."

The boy sobbed desperately. "No one as horrible as me deserves to live anymore. It would've been much better if I'd never born."

"Stop it Ed! It wouldn't have been so!" Roy disagreed and stroke Ed's hair.

"You don't know what it's like! No one does!" Ed screamed. "I'm just so alone… All I do is wrong, I just-"

"Edward, you need to stop thinking like that! You're a good person, you've done all you've could to save people. You've done your best. But sometimes our best just isn't enough. It's my fault too. I did my best but I didn't found you in time."

"You weren't there! All the time I could've-"

"Done nothing Ed. You were tied up in a chair. I was walking free on the streets, I had a chance. I ruined it."

"You could've done nothing!" Ed screamed and hit Roy in his stomach. Tears of pain came in Roy's eyes and Ed gasped. "…I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to..! How can you still be on my side, I've beat you up so badly, you're happy to be alive-!"

Roy drew breath back in his lungs. "You've had rough time Ed, I can understand it…"

"But I can't! I… I can't!" Ed cried. "I'm not even sure who or what I am anymore at times. I'm slipping Roy… I'm fading… I'll go crazy if it goes on like this!" he screamed.

Roy hugged him tighter. "It'll change. I promise Ed, it'll change. I'll make it change."

"…Sometimes our best just isn't enough", Ed whispered sadly. Then he covered his mouth. "Roy, where's that bucket?"

* * *

That "I'm so sorry"-line is starting to become the most used line in this fic. Hehee. Not that I mind. 

Well, I want to thank you all for reading this once again. Reviews would be nice too!


	15. To cry

**Hello once again!**

Thanks to my reviewers, I owe you sooo much! I just have to smile while reading them. And I made many of you angry for Winry (I just have to grin maliciously at this point). Yes, she rushes at first without thinking with her wrench in her hand. I'm not that big fan of her... but she's he's friend so I'm trying to.

I had a_ lot_ of fun with this chappy. Especially with the ending. I hope you'll like it too.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 15  
**__To cry_

After the mess had been cleaned Ed was sitting on the couch again, his hand curled around his leg which he had drawn closer to his fragile body. Roy had tried to clean up his wounds but Ed had gone on and on babbling that he deserved them and he didn't let Roy come near to him so he had given up. Sometimes Ed just managed to be so stubborn it wasn't healthy.

Roy had returned to his paperwork but couldn't help glaring at Ed at times. The boy didn't move much and even one little flinch made Roy raise his head. He didn't even bother to read the papers but signed them immediately. He knew he might have to pay for it later but somehow right now it didn't matter. He just wanted to take Ed home as quickly as he could.

After a while the door opened again and Winry peeked in sadly.

"Can I come in?" she asked quietly with a pleading look in her eyes. Roy nodded. She didn't seem as threatening as before. And if something would happen he would just drag her out of his office.

Winry closed the door gently and looked at Ed who had paid no attention to her entrance. She sighed and walked hesitantly closer until she was right in front of him.

"I'm sorry, OK? You know I don't say that very often so… Well you know that I really mean it, do you?" she said. Ed glanced at her briefly with a tired look. She sighed. "Stop with that look, OK? I was wrong, you didn't deserve it. I know you too well, Edward."

Ed's squeeze of his leg tightened. Winry glanced at her.

"It's been quite a long while since you got your latest automail. I've made you a new one months ago, just in case you'd manage to break the last one." She smiled encouragingly. Ed raised his head and faced her again.

"You're not going to yell at me for losing my automails?" he asked hesitantly. She chuckled and sat next to Ed.

"No, Ed, I'm not going to yell at you. And no wrench this time. How does it sound?"

Ed sulked. "Stop talking to me like I'm a little kid. I'm sick of it. I haven't been a kid in a long time. You if someone knows it."

Winry's smile faded for a brief while. Then she hugged him. "I know you're not a kid. I think I've just missed you a long time and all… And all that has happened… I feel like a kid myself, so…"

Ed hesitantly hugged her back. "It's my fault. I made you suffer again."

"No Ed", she whispered. "You made me realise that I should've been there for you two more. You made me see that I should hang on the things and people I love very tight now that I still can."

"…You were crying", he whispered. Roy shook his head but luckily none of the kids saw it. Ed seemed to have an obsession of crying. He hated to see people he cared about cry. Roy had seen his confused and terrified face when he himself had snapped and cried the day before. And the same thing went with that Winry-girl. And Ed always seemed like he was guilty when he was crying. Didn't he just realise that sometimes people just _had_ to cry? And people close to them somehow enjoyed the fact of having them crying in their lap or wherever they were. It made them feel like they had gotten close to the person. Like they were trusted.

"Yes, Ed. I did cry. But you know that I always cry. You've said so yourself", she said while rubbing Ed's back. Ed shivered.

"Why do you cry?" he asked pleadingly. "Why people cry?"

Winry smiled at him. "Because after we've cried we feel better. If we don't we have all the time a huge urge to cry and trying to hold it back is hard. And that way it stays bugging us longer, we just can't let go. But if we cry enough… well it's easier to move on."

Ed chuckled sadly. "I'm not good at crying."

"You know how you get better in stuff. Just practise."

Ed shook his head. "No way. I don't want to cry, it makes me feel miserable. Other people are going through this same pain too-"

"And they cry Ed. You can cry too. And actually that isn't true that other people go through the same pain. Everyone's pain is unique Ed. Nobody can really feel how you feel because they aren't exactly like you, they haven't done and seen all the things you have and lost someone who's as close to them as Al was to you. They're pain is different… it's pretty same, yes, but never completely."

"I still don't want to cry. If I cry I'll make you cry too", Ed mumbled with a slight blush on his face.

"Which helps me too. And if we both cry that many people won't be looking at only you."

Ed looked at her hesitantly. He was silent for a moment before opening his eyes. "…I just don't know how to cry anymore. It doesn't come like that…"

Winry took his hand. "When was the last time you cried?"

Ed made a confused look and glanced at Roy who sighed. "Just tell her Ed."

"…A while after you left…" Ed muttered. Winry seemed surprised.

"…Did I make you cry?" she asked guiltily. Ed nodded hesitantly.

"Winry, it wasn't your fault, I-" he started but was silenced with at tight hug which was almost as strong as Armstrong's. He couldn't help but think that Armstrong would be proud of Winry. He felt pain in his ribs which hadn't healed completely yet. He groaned. "…Winry…!"

"I'm sorry for making you cry Ed, I shouldn't have done that, you were completely innocent. Can you forgive me?"

"…As soon as you let go… My ribs hurt…"

"Oh. Sorry", she said and let go. Ed drew in a deep breath. Then he turned green again.

"Out of my way", he managed to say before he gave up to the bucket. After that he shakily wiped his mouth again and drank a little water to get the horrible taste out of his mouth. Winry saw a sweat drop on his forehead.

"You know what Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"Granny's friend has been working on a medicine for that… they really work, I've used them once. I have a couple in my bag, do you want to have one?"

Ed waved his hand. "That would be nice. Can I really trust to your granny's friend? That person hasn't poisoned them or something?"

Winry chuckled. "Well at least I'm alive and healthy right now so I guess he hasn't done anything wrong to them. Just wait a second, I left my bag in there… I'll be right back."

"Mm-hmm."

When she had disappeared out of the door and closed it with a tiny smile dancing on her lips Roy chuckled. "Are you sure she's just a friend?"

Ed looked at him confusedly. "Eh?"

Roy smiled teasingly and scratched his chin. "For me you almost looked like a couple."

Ed blushed furiously. "I'm not like you Mustang. I don't start hitting my friends."

"You don't start hitting anyone Ed. Come on, you're sixteen years old! Don't give me the crap that you're not-"

"Interested in girls, and yes, I will give you that though it isn't crap. Leave me alone, Mustang", Ed snarled.

"Back with the 'Mustang', I see."

"Just shut up. She's a childhood friend, nothing else. And she'll never be. I'm sorry if _you_ don't have any female _friends_, but I do, and I don't intend to change that."

"I have Riza", Roy growled. Ed chuckled.

"And just yesterday you were telling me how good she looks in bikinis. Come on Mustang, you don't have any female friends you've never had a crush on. I pity you."

"Whatever Ed…" Roy muttered as Winry stepped back in the room.

"Alright Ed, take this", she said and put a pill on Ed's hand. Ed swallowed it quickly and drank water after it.

"Ed, have you ever taken pills before?" Winry sighed.

Ed nodded. "A few times as a child. And some time ago Roy forced one in my throat." He glared at Roy furiously. Damn, the kid didn't need to remember that…

Winry shook her head once again. "Well, usually people put the pill in their mouth almost to their throat and flush it down with water. Much easier."

"Oh. I guess I've done so as a kid but I just didn't remember. It was so long ago…"

Winry nodded. "Alright. How are you feeling?"

"…I don't really feel any difference. Though I think my stomach hurts less... If I sense it right."

"Alright. Then I guess it worked."

"I thought pills didn't work that fast!" Ed stared at her disbelievingly. She just smiled.

"Granny's friend is talented. She says he'll probably smash down every pill anyone has ever created if he goes on like this. But now back to the automail."

Ed shook his head. "I don't want limbs."

Winry hit him in the face. "I want you to have limbs. Everyone in here wants you to have limbs. Al would want you to have limbs. If you're not doing it willingly I'm going to use force."

Ed held his cheek with an angry look. "When was the last time someone listened to _my_ opinion and didn't do everything against it?!"

"I don't know and honestly: I don't care! You're _not_ making me work like crazy with your automail and then refuse to use it!"

"Automail-freak!"

"Alchemy-freak!"

"Stop it you two, I can't concentrate."

"You're going to use it Ed and that's final. And I'm attaching it _now_."

"That's what the pill was for, right!? You can't risk attaching it while I'm ill so you healed me first, didn't you? You were planning this all the time!"

"What if I was? It doesn't change anything!" She yelled and took the metal limbs and her toolset from his bag. Ed growled.

"I hate you Winry!"

"I hate you too! I'm just thinking about the best of you and you have guts to decide to be selfish and irresponsible! Who raised you up, Ed?"

"Mum and auntie Pinako!"

"Who after it!"

"No one and you know it very well!"

"I mean it you two, I can't work like this. If you really need to fight, please do it somewhere else."

Winry smiled maliciously. "There you go Ed. You have to listen to your commanding officer!"

Ed smiled back. "Ha hah, my commanding officer you say? I quit the military after Al was gone! I don't give a shit what he says!"

Roy stood up. "Now stop it you two or I'm getting Hawkeye here to shoot you! And Ed, watch your language!"

"-You…! HANDS OFF ME, WINRY! WAIT! NO! KKKRRGHH!"

Winry had pinned Ed down and attached his hand. Ed's body stiffened because of the pain and he made weird scratching sounds while trying to hold his screams back. Winry smiled.

"You made me do it the hard way. Now I have to attach them in a different time, happy? Ready for another pain shock?"

Roy had frozen to watch the scene in front of him. Was attaching automail really so painful?

Ed snarled out of pain again when Winry attached his leg. His back arched and sweat drops were visible on his face. Winry sat next to him and stroke his hair. She smiled after she noticed Roy's horrified glance.

"This is normal, believe me. It really is painful."

"I've never really heard or seen him to react that violently to pain."

"Well, he seems to have a huge urge to act tough. Many adults cry while attachments and surgery but he refuses to do so. Usually people watch over their automails just to avoid reattachments… Ed's the stupid one, at times he comes to Resembool every second week to get a new one after he's broken the last one again. Irresponsible hothead…"

"Somehow I can believe that clearly."

Winry smiled. Ed snarled.

"…St…op talk-ing about… me!" he muttered. Winry patted his head.

"OK Ed. No need to be ashamed."

"'M not!"

Winry and Roy just couldn't help sighing. Ed was just so stubborn.

* * *

Later that evening Ed was able to walk again which helped Roy a lot. The only thing he hated in Ed's automail was the fact that if Ed would get violent again he doubted he'd live for long.

Ed fell on the couch and closed his eyes. Roy knew he was happy to have his limbs back, even though he had first tried to refuse taking them. Not that Ed would ever admit it. At least to him or Winry.

"Are you tired?" Roy asked as he stepped next to Ed who nodded.

"Pain takes energy."

"You know you don't have to be that tough", he sighed. "You can suppress your pain by… well, doing what you feel like you want to do."

"I want to fight against it, Roy. That's me."

"It doesn't have to be you, Ed. You can change."

Ed snorted. "Did it ever occur you that maybe I don't want to change?"

"Many times in fact. You never want to change."

Ed yawned and got up. "I think I'll go and change. I want to go to sleep."

"What about eating?" Roy asked concernedly. Ed waved his hand.

"Not hungry", he said as he closed his door. Roy sighed.

"If you don't eat tonight I'll make you eat _a lot _next morning!" he yelled to him. Ed didn't answer so he counted it as a "yes".

The doorbell rang.

"Who the hell in this time…" he muttered and opened the door.

"M… mum!" he gasped and quickly made way for the old, grey haired intrepid small woman who looked at him judgingly.

"You've lost weight Roppy. You need to eat more", she said loudly and slapped Roy on his stomach even harder than Ed had hit him earlier. Roy gagged.

"Sure, mum…" he managed to answer after getting some more air in his aching lungs.

Ed walked in the room in his boxers.

"Roy, do you know where my…" his voice faded as he saw Roy's mum who gasped loudly and angrily.

"ROPPY, NO MATTER HOW BAD BOY YOU'VE BEEN I'D NEVER BELIEVED ANYTHING LIKE THIS ABOUT YOU!!!" she screamed. Ed had paled.

"…shirt is. But I think I'm going back to my room and look harder." He walked quickly back in his room and closed the door silently.

"Mum, this is _not _what it looks like", Roy started but was stopped by a slam to his face.

"I've been watching you run out with hundreds of women, but a little boy Roy? When did you become a paedophile, where are the kid's parents, I'm sorry, but this goes too far!"

"MUM! Listen, now. It is _not_ what it looks like. I'm just watching over him. He was my subordinate before some… terrible things happened. He's staying here until he gets back to his feet."

His mum looked at him angrily. "Should I believe that? And where did all those bruises come from? I thought you were doing paperwork."

Roy blushed. "…He hasn't been in a good mood."

"Where is that little boy who hurt my little Roppy, he's a bad teen just like all of them, he's come to you, Roppy-"

"No, mum, you're not going to do anything to him!"

"Out of my way Roppy", she snarled and kicked Ed's door open. At least Ed had found his black sleeveless shirt.

"Mum, if you dare to even touch him, I-!"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence when his mother had attacked Ed who was screaming from the top of his lungs. He dived in the fight too.

They fought for the whole night.

* * *

Hahahaa, what a tiny little energy-pack Roy's mum is. Trust me, he's had a hard past with her. You'll hear more in later chapters.

Usually I don't make OCs because I have problems with the personalities. It's just so damn hard to not make them open for everything and all that. So I'm doing my best with Mrs. Mustang and I hope you'll like the outcome... or hate it... whatever...

Review, can you?


	16. Dive to the icy sea

Sorry for taking so long! But enought for my babbling, here's the waited chappy!

In this chappy: Roy's messed up mind Hahaa, poor man.

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN FMA! You all know it already...

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 16  
**__Dive to the icy sea_

"I'm taking your bed Roppy. You two can fight for that one", Mrs. Mustang said before walking out of the room, leaving Ed totally beaten up and asleep on the floor and Roy rubbing his forehead. It was amazing how the woman had gotten off with just a few bruises, even though they were bad. Maybe they should practise a little more again. Though Roy didn't honestly believe Ed would do that, so he didn't even have the guts to ask. Probably it would just remind him of Al. And that was the last thing he wanted, especially while his mother was under the roof. Damn the woman.

He turned his head and saw Ed with a black eye snoring on the cold floor, slightly shivering. He sighed and lifted him up carefully not to wake him up. He noticed how much more weight he had gotten from the automail. It was probably very backbreaking.

He laid the boy in the bed, knowing he'd have to sleep on the sofa himself by doing that but somehow it didn't matter as long as Ed was at least a little comfortable. It had been his mother's fault he had gotten more bruises. Not that he hadn't gotten any already after Winry and her wrench. Maybe he should offer Ed a painkiller after he woke up?

He felt a gentle smile rose on his lips when he covered Ed with his blankets, making sure his feet wouldn't be left without anything to warm them up, which honestly saying wasn't a problem, Ed being as small as he was. But he wouldn't probably ever get to say that to his face if he wanted to live longer. And he did, especially now that he had someone to look after. It felt… sort of comforting. And good. Maybe he had even longed for something like this but never really noticed it.

He opened Ed's braid and left the rubber band on the little table next to his bed. The microphone reminded him that his speaker was in the room his mum had gone to. Well it wasn't on so it shouldn't bother her. It was just the fact that he didn't have the courage to go and get it and without it he couldn't listen after Ed. It did bother him… but somehow he couldn't really see Ed doing something bad right now. And he was asleep as well. And his mum had sharp ears too and Roy was sure she wasn't letting Ed go anywhere before everything was explained.

He yawned and closed his eyes temporally. He was just so tired… when was the last time he had fought with her mum..? Not so long ago but it hasn't been one of his most recent doings either… or at least it felt so, though the latest few weeks felt like few years.

He chuckled and opened his eyes to look down at the snoring form in front of him. Did it really felt so long? Well… yeah. It did. Maybe that was one of the reasons he had really grown fond of Ed. Probably. Who could not do that while living with him under the same roof? Ed was such a sweet little adorable boy. …OK, he was not. But it didn't matter. He was sweet and adorable his own way. Sometimes a little violent way, but still. And it wasn't like the kid didn't have a heart. He did and Roy could see it clearly. If he cared, he… well… cared. Those who got close to him were so lucky. Ed was willing to do so many things in order to protect them. In Al's case he would've done _anything _to save him. But sometimes things just didn't go that way… He couldn't even imagine how hard it would be if the same would happen to Ed after all he had done already to ease his pain… He had tried to imagine, yes, but he just couldn't really because it felt so… well, not unlikely… but… well yeah, unlikely in his mind. Damn he was just so stupid. Too naïve.

He sighed. But what if Ed wouldn't make it? No, he couldn't think about it. But… He had to, right? No. Of course not. Because he was _not_ letting it happen. So what's to think? Nothing? That's right.

He really was naïve.

But what's to think about it? Ed was asleep, safe and as comfortable as he could make him right now. No matter some… things... he was going through, everything would go just fine. They were going to become a little family of their own. Maybe someday Roy'd find a woman to settle down with as well but anyway. Their own little family, as perfect as a family can be. Happy. Supporting. Just… everything good. A little sad thing here and there but they would go away. Because that's what they do. Disappear and leave people alone. Right? Soon Ed would start smiling more. Probably even share some memories of his.

And his mum would also accept Ed. Yes, she couldn't possibly hate Roy's little child, could she? Maybe Ed would even bring them a little closer. Maybe he could get some god damn respect from his mum after settling down a little. That's what she had always wanted. Ed was a perfect way to do it. Having someone that… small… to look after he realised he had a lot less time for himself. A lot less thoughts for himself. But it didn't matter at all, because it was all worth it. Ed was worth so many things. Maybe he was even reliant of him? He couldn't tell. Maybe he was too stubborn to do it.

He suddenly felt very… uneasy. What was going on? He wasn't going to stop being himself for Ed? Had he really started to forget what his life had been? Wild and fun. Now it was dark and… sorrowful? He couldn't possibly want this more. He couldn't. His brains were probably damaged for all of Ed's hits. This was _not_ what he wanted. He had to get back on his feet. He would lose his reputation. He would lose himself. This was not him. This was someone else. He had to stop this. What if years later he would realise who he was, who he wanted to be, who was the real him once again and then he'd have Ed who would be… reliant of him. Living only because of him. It was not going to end up well. He had to stop this madness, for goodness sake! This was not how they were supposed to be!

…But Ed had had so many good influences over him. He had softened, he had found a dream man of every women inside of him. This was something people liked to see. Why throw it away?

…But thinking again… why keep it if it wasn't what he was supposed to be?

And how again did he know who he was supposed to be? He was supposed to be him, this was _not_ him. Not at all. This was someone else. He couldn't let people see this other person. He had fooled Ed into believing it was him. It wasn't, damn it! It wasn't, and Ed was probably thinking something like it! This was not going well! But Ed didn't like the person he really was… How depressed Ed would be for losing him? He'd probably get dragged deeper to the hole he was in. But that Winry-girl would probably help him stand again. She was his friend. His _real_ friend. She knew who she was, she had always been that way. _She_ was what Ed needed, not this pathetic side of his.

…But why had he cried when he had saved Ed from killing himself?

Nah, a stupid, childish reaction to death. He hated seeing people so young die… it made him feel miserable. And he would've cried if it would've been Maes or Hawkeye or someone else from his crew too. He had just construed it the wrong way. He chuckled. He and his stupid, messed up mind.

But he couldn't kick Ed out, that was for sure. Hawkeye would kill him. He would just have to get someone to look after him at times so he had time for himself. Yeah, that sounded good. That Winry would probably be more than willing.

OK, now he just had to loose Ed. That was all he had left to do. Just slowly get rid of him. Yup, that sounded good. He glanced quickly at the snoring boy who had curled up and buried his head in his pillow, his flesh hand loosely holding the edge of his blanket. Roy felt his heart soften. Wait, no, not this way. He stood up straight again and took a few deep breaths. OK, relax. You do this, because you've gotten used to doing it because sometimes it felt like a natural thing to do from a parent figure. Yes, that's right. He had just wanted to taste a different life for a while.

He kneeled down and stroke Ed's hair. Just for the last time, he told himself stubbornly. Just for the last time so he could remember what it had been like. Being a parent, that's it.

When he finally crushed to the couch he couldn't help but feel depressed. But why? Because he wanted to be a parent or because Ed would be broken if he stopped being it?

* * *

When Ed finally woke up he couldn't even tell what time was it. His bruises didn't really hurt that much, that was the good cause of his travels. Nothing hurt for long after he had gotten through a lot worse pain many times more. Thinking about last night…

He sat up and blinked as his eyes watered from the sudden bright light. What time was it? Roy had work to do, he always dragged him with. It was not like he had any other option. Ed slowly stood up and rubbed his eyes. Maybe Roy had slept too long. He should go and wake him up.

He slowly walked out of his room. He didn't see Roy anywhere. Well, it was not like he could see the whole house from where he stood. He just saw… the most obvious sleeping places, being the couches. He slowly opened Roy's room's door.

"Roy?" he asked nervously but saw already that the room was empty. He sighed. Maybe he was up already?

"You slept a long time", he heard a strong voice behind him. He turned quickly and looked in the eyes of apparently Roy's mother. Well now he knew where Roy had gotten his… weird eyes to say.

He nodded hesitantly as an answer and the woman clapped her hands. She didn't look pleased. "Then go and get breakfast. Someone needs to feed you, I can see your ribs through your shirt. And that shirt's way too big for you. What was your name again?" She talked to him angrily and started dragging him to the kitchen. He felt really unwanted to the house.

"E-Ed…" he muttered as he was pushed to the chair and the woman threw a packet of butter and a few slices of bread on the table in front of him. Ed hesitantly took them. "Where's Roy?"

"At work", she shot back and disappeared somewhere with a wet rag. Ed felt a little… what was it… hurt? Had the bastard really just left him alone with that… mother of his? How impolite! Maybe he just didn't want to wake him up. Yeah, that must be it. He'd apologize to him later if he complained. That's how Roy worked. Do and if it doesn't go the wanted way, apologize. Or at least that's how he worked with him. He hadn't really heard Roy apologizing to others so often.

"You've eaten already?" the woman asked as she appeared again. Ed who had the last piece of bread on his mouth nodded. The woman looked at him angrily. "You stink."

Ed just stared. How impolite! Now he knew from where Roy had gotten that! And it was not like the woman had to hang around him!

"What are you waiting? Get to the shower!" she yelled and threw him a towel. He managed to catch it, if barely because it almost flew too high to him. Maybe she had gotten used to throwing things to taller people.

…

…HE DIDN'T JUST THINK THAT, DIDN'T HE!?! HE WASN NOT SOME DAMN SMALL LITTLE… ATOM! HE WAS AS EVERYONE ELSE! ONE DAY HE'D GROW TOO AND BE MUCH TALLER THAN ANY OTHER PEOPLE! AND IT WASN'T LIKE THE WOMAN WAS TALL HERSELF!

Someone slapped his cheek. "What are you sulking there!? Just get to the damn shower! And don't forget to wash your hair!"

…Maybe it would be just better to get to the shower.

* * *

Later that evening Roy came back home. He had started to feel sort of… lonely in his office. Had it always been like that? Was his past life really better than the one he was having now?

The first thing he spotted was his mum sitting on the sofa, reading some old looking book of hers. She raised her head as she heard him open the door.

"Roppy! It's so good to see you! How's mum's brave boy?" said and came to tap Roy's shoulder. Shoulder because she couldn't reach his head. "There are muffins in the oven. Just go and get some."

"Hey mum. Where's Ed?" he asked as he realised that the kid was not present. He wasn't mad, was he? Somehow he felt guilty even while he was trying to push the feeling away. Since when had he been so emotional?

His mother snorted. "Talking about him, you shouldn't let him carry anything heavy. Especially anything heavier than he is. It troubles his growing. Those metal limbs aren't helping at all. No wonder he's such a little bean."

He smiled. "Don't let him hear that."

"And feed the poor boy more. He looks starved."

"Yes mum. It's just that he doesn't eat. He used to eat a lot but lately hasn't eaten at all."

His mum crossed her arms. "You still haven't told me anything about you two."

"Mum, he's my old subordinate-"

"Don't lie to me, Roppy. It's a bad thing to do. That little people aren't in the military."

"He's been an exception", Roy snarled. He hated it when his mum talked to him like he was three years old. He was an adult, for god's sake!

She shook her head. "Roppy, Roppy. Are you sure you're telling the truth."

"If you're still thinking that he'd be my… my… you-know, you're-!"

She slapped him. "No, Roy, I'm pretty positive you're still into women. You've been pretty parental to the kid, I can see. I'm just thinking… how old is he anyway? 12?"

"…16…"

"16. Well, but anyway. I hope you aren't lying in that. Are you sure he isn't yours? You've run around for a long time Roy, it is completely possible that-"

Roy gasped. "You aren't thinking that he's my son!? He doesn't even look like me, mum! He is _not _my son! That's it! I've told you the truth, why don't you start believing in it!"

She eyed him. "Alright, Roppy. Mummy believes you."

"Good. You never answered where he is?"

She looked pretty bitter as she sat back on the couch. "In the room you've given to him. And Roy, if I were you, I wouldn't spend money on him."

Roy blinked. "Why, mum? For once I'm trying to do something good and you disagree?"

She shook her head sadly. "That kid's long gone, Roy. I can tell. Have you looked in his eyes? See the distance? He's too deep in depression, you can't pull him away from it."

Roy froze. "…I don't believe you."

"Whatever, Roppy. Just think about this: he's in a deep, freezing sea. He doesn't have anymore energy to get out and you're diving after him. How far are you willing to dive to try to save him, even if it's impossible already? What if it's impossible, what if the last thing you can do is just turn around and save yourself. Would you do that?"

Roy stared at her angrily. "You don't make any sense mum. I respect loyalty."

"People here care about you Roy. They'd rather want at least one of you survive. Be sure not to dive so deep you can't get to the surface again."

"…Stop it mum."

She took her book back in her hand. "It was an honest statement, Roppy. Stop thinking about him: open your eyes and save yourself."

He shook his head angrily and stormed in Ed's room. The thoughts of forgetting about Ed were almost vanished. For now… all he cared about was Ed.

Ed looked at him angrily from his bed. He was definitely sulking.

"What are you doing in here?" Roy asked gently and closed the door. Ed snorted.

"Couldn't take your mum any longer. She's driving me crazy. You decide Roy: which one stays, me or she. Could you at least send me to Hughes' family while she's staying?"

Roy chuckled. "She's not that bad, you know."

"Not to you."

Roy looked at Ed curiously. The boy really seemed hurt. Emotionally so.

"For me she just… well, she doesn't say anything nicely. She doesn't do anything nice. She just… she bullies me Roy. At first it was just teasing but for the latest hours… I can tell, she's _looking _for ways to annoy me. She even calls me… she calls me…" Ed's voice faded to hissing. Roy raised his eyebrows and kneeled next to him.

"You must've misunderstood her, Ed. She just wants people to feel good and all that. She's really helping."

"Then you must've missed something. Because she's everything but helpful. She makes me go crazy", Ed hissed and lied down to his bed, closing his eyes. "I'm just so sick of her, Roy. And I didn't even see Winry, I don't even know if she's in Central anymore. I'm just so pissed off right now Roy. And you dared to leave me here. Just leave me alone for a while, please? I really need some time to cool down."

Roy sighed and hugged Ed. He was surprised to find Ed leaning on him for a brief while.

"OK, just go. Just go and think about what I said. She or me. I'm not spending even a minute more with her and that's final."

"Come on, Ed-"

"GO", he growled and pointed at the door angrily. Roy decided that it was a right moment to flee like Ed had suggested. If he'd stay any longer he'd just make Ed blow up.

And that was not a right thing to do under his mother's nose.

* * *

"_How far are you willing to dive to try to save him, even if it's impossible already? What if it's impossible, what if the last thing you can do is just turn around and save yourself. Would you do that?"_

…Damn his mother. Why implant such a horrible image in his head? He didn't even had an answer for it! He couldn't decide!

He stood up from the couch and stretched his arms. That damn question didn't leave his mind. He couldn't sleep. Not that he was sleepy anyway. He sighed and walked quietly back in Ed's room and peeked in. Good, the boy was asleep. He sat silently on Ed's bed, next to the deeply asleep figure.

It was such a pity he had missed Ed's childhood. It was such a pity he hadn't gotten the chance to raise him up from the very start. Maybe things would've been clearer that way. But no. And maybe that was one of the reasons he sometimes saw Ed as a little kid in front of him.

He hesitated. What it would feel like to hold him like he was a little kid? A little baby probably? He was little anyway, but still… it was not like he would ever let him try. At least while awake.

He slowly pulled Ed on his lap, supporting his head with his right hand and using his left hand to keep the boy on his lap safely. Ed didn't wake up. He was gifted in sleeping. There weren't many things that disturbed him. He started rocking him softly.

It was just amazing. For a while he could imagine the situation happening years back. Ed felt like… his own child. He was warm and soft on his lap, his snoring like music to his ears. He couldn't help but smile.

No. Maybe he wouldn't turn around and save himself. Maybe he'd dive until the end took him.

* * *

Well, good that his mind is solved again. At least for now. Now he just has to think which one out of his house...

Review, OK? I like reviews... makes me write more chappies...


	17. Not good enough

Hello again. I had a little hard time with this fic because I hadn't been planning what I wanted in it before I started writing. But it turned out pretty well.

This is dedicated to all Mrs. Mustang haters **>:D **Why don't we go and beat her to death right away?

And to answer a question: I doubt this will be WinryEd. I can't write romance. I suck in it. So I'll just skip it. And I like their friendship. They're not a perfect couple... there hasn't been a perfect match for Ed in the series so far in my opinion.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 17  
**__Not good enough_

Ed woke up early in the morning. He felt… surprisingly warm. It was already autumn so the nights weren't usually this warm. Well, it was a nice change. He squeezed the fabric in his fists harder and cuddled closer to the form holding him.

…Wait? What?!

His eyes shot open and he saw Roy asleep in a sitting position, him being on Roy's lap. He blushed. What the hell!? WHAT THE HELL!? How _dared_ he keep him on his lap without his consent?! He snarled and crawled off and curled up next to Roy. He was still feeling a little sleepy. And Roy was comfortably warm. His body's warmness had even warmed his automail a little. Usually it was pretty cool but now it was a little warm. How nice. Warmness. He really loved it.

He chuckled silently just to express his feelings. It felt just _so_ nice! Like having family again! Al of course had been nice and all but he had always touched him like he was going to break to pieces if he touched too hardly. And his armour had been pretty cold. But it hadn't mattered, at least he had been holding him.

But with Roy… When he was held, he was held tightly, a warm body warming his in a comforting way. It was just so nice! So,_ so_ nice! Like his mum! Though his mum was still the best, she had not been annoying in the ways Roy was. And Al was good too! He had at least gave him company, sympathy, someone to protect. Sometimes it felt weird not to have Al to look after. OK, usually it went the way around, but it didn't mean he didn't watch over Al! He did!

Or had done anyway. Suddenly he felt like someone was trying to strangle him. His throat was dry. He tried swallowing but it didn't really make much difference. His head hurt. His eyes nettled. He could feel tears developing. Damn, he wasn't crying, not now.

But now that he thought about it… why not? It didn't look like Roy was waking up anytime soon and who else would interrupt him? So he let his tears fall. They made his face salty and tight but somehow it felt comforting. He took Roy's hand to hold and bit his teeth stubbornly together. With no sound, there would be no interruptions.

How stupid he felt when the door opened, revealing Roy's mum.

For a while she looked like yelling to get them up before she noticed Ed's tear drained face and smiled sadly. Or maybe that was what she tried to do, but somehow the look was a little too happy and malicious for his liking. He quickly wiped his tears away.

"No need to be ashamed", she said almost gently and kneeled next to the bed. Ed glowered at her angrily. God, he just wanted to disappear somewhere where nobody would ever be able to find him.

"So what's wrong? Roppy forgot to tell me", she whispered as not to wake Roy up. Ed didn't know what he wanted. It would be easier to face Roy's mum with him but he didn't want to show him he'd been crying again. He didn't want Roy to look at him with pitying eyes. It was just so frustrating!

He bit his teeth together again and fought against tears which were easily away. Not crying was something he had gotten used to do.

"None of your business", he hissed back. It was obvious she was just trying to find another thing to tease him for. And he wasn't letting her get it, damn it! He was not week!

"But of course you're so little that every little problem is a huge one. Sorry to interrupt you, go back to self pity", she said with a nice tone. Ed grew angry but held back. He wasn't going to give her the satisfaction!

She tapped his head roughly and glowered at him. "Why was Roppy sleeping here? You got afraid of the dark?" Ed noticed the hint of hate.

"Don't ask me, I have no idea why he's in here", he growled back.

"Well make sure he won't do it again. He'll have stiff neck and hurting back when he wakes up. You're awake so out of the way!" she said and yanked him up. Hey! It wasn't like he had been planning to get up just yet! And without Roy's warmness he was starting to cool up again. Well everything good had to end sometime. It was just the fact that she stopped it that bothered him so much.

She laid Roy down in a better position and yanked Ed out of the room from his wrist. After it she pushed him to the kitchen chair and threw him a few funny pieces of bread and a glass of milk. Ed snarled.

"I don't drink milk", he said. She raised her eyebrows.

"Why honey you don't drink milk? Do you want to be a midget for the rest of your life?"

"I don't care. I'm not drinking it", he stated and grabbed the bread. She smiled at him coldly.

"Then you aren't going to drink anything."

"Fine! Whatever!" Ed snarled to her and felt a slap on his cheek.

"You were much nicer when you didn't exist, Ed", she said happily. Ed fought with himself to hide how much her sentence had hurt him. "What if we'd make a deal?"

"Sorry, but I don't think any deal you're going to suggest is going to get approved by me."

Another slap. Damn, his cheek burned!

"Don't talk like that to people older than you, midget."

Okay. THIS WAS ENOUGH!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT YOU CAN'T SEE HIM OR CATCH HIM SO YOU COULD JUST FLUSH HIM TO THE TOILET, BUT OF COURSE, AS SMALL AS HE IS, YOU COULDN'T EVEN FLUSH HIM DOWN BECAUSE HE WOULD BE LIGHTER THAN WATER AND STAY ON THE SURFACE, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU'D TRY!" he snapped and stood up. She looked at him angrily.

"You're not as stupid as you look like, I see", she said. Ed noticed her insult again but fought hard with him not to blow up again. Roy's mum walked and checked that Roy was still asleep. Which he unfortunately was, no matter how loud Ed had bee screaming.

"Back to the deal", she said as she came back. Ed crossed his arms.

"There will be no deal."

She smiled again. Ed didn't know why but her smiles were creepy. Maybe because if she smiled to Ed it wasn't a real smile or she'd have something evil in her mind.

"Alright Ed. I'll make this simple so your little brain will understand it too." She waited a while like excepting him to blow up. Which he almost did. "You are on my way. I want my son to find a nice woman and settle down with her. Maybe even have kids _of his own_. _But you're on my way_.You're _on_ _his way_. I want you out."

"Why am I not good enough?" he asked sadly. It wasn't like he hurt already but that woman "talking sense" to him made him feel much worse. Why was he so unappreciated?

"You're not his. You're violent, impolite, depressed and probably crazy. Is that enough for you?" she asked. Ed started to hold back his tears again. "If you care about my little Roppy, you go. I don't care how you do it."

Ed paled. How could she really be this monstrous? Didn't she have a heart? Did she _honestly _want him dead? Did she?

"I know that look. Now go and think about what I've said to you. If you don't want to go already."

He would never fit in here, he realised. He'd always have Roy's mum breathing down his neck. It would never end.

Suddenly the tears were on his cheeks as he tried to swallow the anger boiling inside of his head. He nodded slowly.

"Oh, you do? Well that's good, I'll just go and get your stuff", she said happily and walked off to his room. Well, his old room anyway.

It was such a pity Roy wasn't awake. Or maybe it wasn't, he could think clearer by himself without Roy around him.

Roy's mum was back in a few seconds and she gave him his suitcase and dragged out of the door.

"I knew you'd understand", she said and slammed the door shut. Ed held his sobs back as he started walking to the red dawn.

He just wasn't good enough. And he'd never be.

* * *

It was about nine o'clock when Roy woke up comfortably from Ed's bed. For a while he wondered why he had ended up in there.

"Must've fallen asleep…" he muttered to himself and stood up. Ed wasn't in the room. Maybe he was eating breakfast or something? AND DAMN IT, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK AT NINE-THIRTY! DAMN IT, HE HAD TO RUN!

He stormed to his room and changed to his military uniform. After it he ran to the door, seen his mum sipping tea on the sofa, a book again in her hand.

"Will you look after Ed for me?" he asked as he yanked the door open. His mum didn't even raise her head.

"He's not here."

Roy froze and turned. "What do you mean he's not here!? Where'd he go?"

"Don't ask me. I haven't seen him in the whole morning. His stuff is gone too."

Roy yanked his hair. "No! No, this can't be happening! Just can't! Where the fuck is he mum, stop playing with me! I need to get to work!"

"Go ahead, honey."

"But Ed-!?"

"You're needed at work Roppy. The kid will be fine."

"Who was the one last night who tried to convince me that he was _not _going to be fine!?" Roy yelled back. Gosh, he didn't have time for this!

His mother sighed. "Just let it be Roy. Let him go if he wants to. If he runs, it means he doesn't want you. Pity yourself for a while and move on. Don't hang on the past."

"But he does want me mum, I-!"

"Honey, you have twenty minutes to get to work. I suggest you run fast and we'll talk about this more when you get back. How does that sound?" she asked and looked at Roy innocently. Unfortunately Roy didn't notice the fool act.

"I have to find him mum, he'll go and do something stupid-!"

"Tick, tick, Roy. Run."

Roy growled angrily and started running. At work he could at least ask some of his crew to help him find Ed.

What the heck was going on in the boy's head!?

* * *

"…Ed… what are you doing in here?" Gracia asked him after she'd opened the door. He smiled sadly.

"Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly. Gracia nodded and made way.

"Why do you have your luggage with you? Did you and Roy have a fight?" Gracia asked concernedly. Ed shook his head.

"It's his mum", he said. He was scared of himself when he noticed the coldness of his voice. Gracia guided him to the lounge which was full of Elysia's toys.

"Winry's here too. She's upstairs. Do you want me to get her?"

Ed waited a while before shaking his head. No, he didn't want to see Winry right now. Maybe he'd just better find another place to stay. Hawkeye perhaps. Or find the nearest inn for homeless people. How depressing.

"Do you want something to drink?" she asked concernedly. Ed nodded, feeling his dry throat.

"A glass of water would be nice."

It wasn't long until he had drunk it all and kicked his boots off. He could swear he heard Winry and Elysia playing upstairs.

"Do you want more?" Gracia asked nicely. He shook his head. "Do you want to talk then?"

"She doesn't want me around. I don't fit in her rosy plans", he muttered and felt tears in his eyes again but refused to cry. "That bitch."

"Come here", she said and hugged him. "You know… you shouldn't let her take advantage. You should fight."

"I'm just sick of fighting. And it would never end. She'd never stop. It's better this way."

"Does Roy know you're here?"

"No and he doesn't need to know", Ed snarled. "He'd just drag me back. He doesn't believe a word when I tell him how horrible his mother is. He doesn't listen. That's his problem."

"Now, now Ed. You're being childish."

"I'm sick of her, Mrs. Hughes. I don't want to see her ever again", he said stubbornly. "…Could you just… hide me until he gives up? Or at least help me disappear somewhere?"

"Ed, you need to face things. You need to face Roy and at least tell him why you ran away. He'll be worried."

"He worries too much", Ed said stubbornly.

"He worries for a reason, Ed. He cares about you. He's scared that something bad will happen to you. You need to talk to him Ed. I can't hide you for long anyway. Maes will tell if I won't."

Ed sighed. "I'm just on his way."

"On his way or in his mother's way", Gracia asked strongly. Ed lifted his gaze.

"Not all mothers are that wonderful, Ed. And even the best ones can sometimes go a little too far while trying to plan their children's future. Roy's always got that problem but it hasn't stopped him."

"…I don't understand."

"Well, from what I've heard from him and Maes, his mum has always wanted him to be like a… dream son. That he'd get fantastic grades from school, make a lot of money in a respected job, find a wife and have a few kids. Live a happy and simple life. Well, you know that's not quite how things are. She's frustrated Ed. She even calls Maes sometimes just to bully him enough to make him make Roy leave the military."

"But that's… that's stupid."

"I know Ed. Sometimes Maes loses his nerves and at tries to find Roy a nice girl at least. But you know how those things have ended up."

"…I just don't get it. Why does she do all those things? Why does she try to change who Roy is?"

"Because she knows what she wants Roy to be. She doesn't see that Roy doesn't want to be what she wants him to be. Don't get depressed all over because of her. She's just a nasty bitch."

Ed raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"You said 'bitch'. I'd never believed that I'd hear _you _say so."

She winked to him. "Sometimes being a good example for children doesn't mean you have to be polite."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Should I call him?"

She nodded. "The phone's over there. If you don't remember his office's number you can see it from the little telephone directory.

"Thanks Gracia. And I mean it. For all."

She waved her hand. "No problem. Do you want to see Winry now?"

He smiled and nodded. "After I've called. She'll be surprised."

"Happily so. She would've wanted to visit you yesterday but Elysia made her stay and she didn't know how to get to Roy's place anyway, so…" she smiled. "Just call him. He must be worried."

Ed started tapping the numbers. "He's so going to kill me."

"I doubt it", Gracia said and took his empty glass to the sink.

* * *

Oooh, Roy's mum is sooooooo horrible. And smart. She drives people crazy and strikes when they're weak.

Review, pretty please?


	18. Fighting for entrust

New chappy for my brilliant readers and _spectacular_ reviewers! Many of your latest reviews made me fall from my chair, they were just sooo funny! You really hate Mrs. Mustang as much as I do! How could I create such a monster?

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 18  
**__Fighting for entrust_

Roy stormed in his office with a pale face. His subordinates looked at him in shock.

"I lost Ed! You have to help me find him!" he yelled and tried to slow down his quick breathing. Hawkeye shot up.

"You did _what!?_"

"I don't know how it happened! When I woke up he was just gone! I can't find him! You have to help me!" he begged. The phone rang.

"Take the call, colonel, we'll decide where everyone goes", Riza said and took her gun in her hand. Suddenly every officer in the room stood up. Roy whined.

"No time, I have to-"

Riza loaded her gun. Roy gulped and shook his head angrily. He stormed to the phone.

"WHAT!?"

The person calling was quiet for a moment. Probably out of shock.

"_It's me Roy…"_ Ed said hesitantly from the other line. Roy started shaking out of anger.

"EDWARD! Where the hell are you!?" he bellowed.

"…_I'm at Mr. and Mrs. Hughes' place. I'm sorry that I run away, I just-"_

"Being sorry isn't quite enough right now, Ed! Why the heck did you go? What's going on in your fried brains-"

_"MY BRAINS ARE NOT FRIED! AND WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND ASK YOUR MUM ABOUT THAT!?"_

Roy sighed. "I'm sorry for yelling Ed. I was just so worried…"

"_Yeah right"_, came the disbelieving answer.

Roy blinked. "I really was Ed. Why'd you go? Especially with all your stuff without telling about it to anyone?"

"…_She drives me mad Roy. I swear: if I'll ever see her again she'll be just a bloody pool of entrails when I'm finished"_, Ed growled. _"Roy, she doesn't want me around. If you really want me to live with you, you have to throw that bitch out."_

"Don't call my mum a bitch Ed! And if you dare to touch her, I-"

Ed laughed angrily. _"See, that's the problem. You refuse to believe how horrible she is. Ask Mr. Hughes, from what I've heard she's bullied him too. But I guess she bullied me more, I was on her way."_

"Ed, you must've misunderstood her. Just… just come home, OK?"

"_I'm not coming home before you listen! Why don't you listen?! Why is it that people don't listen to me!? Stop giving me the crap my mind's messed up because of Al's death! I'm sane Roy, I really am! I'd say she's fried _your _brains!"_

"Ed, take that back!"

"_No, I don't think I will! And I'll stay in here as long as you start listening, you… you… YOU DISGUST ME, MUSTANG!"_

Ed slammed the phone shut. Roy snarled and dialled Hughes' number back.

"_Gracia."_

"Let me talk to Ed."

She sighed. _"He's mad at you Roy. He doesn't want to talk anymore."_

"I don't care! I'm not finished with him just yet!"

"_Roy, what if you'd just listen to him?"_

Roy snarled. "Not you too…"

"_Roy, he came in here early in the morning__ almost crying. He was really depressed. And your mum has made sure to him that she wants to get rid of him. Right now he needs your support, not deaf ears."_

"My mum would never do that. She thinks about the best of people."

"_She thinks about the best of you. And she doesn't think Ed's the best thing for you."_

"What do you suggest?! I can't just kick my mum out! He's coming home, I'm going to pick him up after work-"

"_If you do that could you at least protect him from her? Don't leave those two alone. Otherwise I'm pretty sure that blood will be spilled."_

"Why do they have to fight?!"

"_Blame your mum, not Ed in that one. I'll talk to you later, Elysia's calling… bye."_

"Bye. Take care of him."

Roy sighed and rubbed his temples after he had closed the phone. Havoc opened his mouth.

"So you found him?" he mumbled while chewing his cigarette. Roy nodded.

"Damn with him… He makes me run around like an idiot. I bet he enjoys it", he snarled. The officers looked at each others briefly.

"Sir, what happened?" Hawkeye asked. Roy shook his head.

"No idea. Ask Ed when you see him. And don't be afraid to share the information with me, I'd love to know too."

* * *

"Ed! What are you doing in here?!" Winry screamed as Ed opened Elysia's room's door. Elysia smiled at him.

"We want ice cream! Do you want too, cousin?" she asked briskly. Ed nodded.

"That would be nice. And you can just call me Ed, OK? I don't really know about that 'cousin' thing… right now it's pretty much messed up…"

Winry looked at him sadly. Ed started sulking. "Stop pitying me, OK!? I hate it! There's no reason to pity me!"

"I'm not pitying you. I'm feeling sorry for you. From what I've heard from the Hughes' you've grown quite a fond of him."

"It's the other way around", Ed snarled back and sat down. "What are you doing?"

"We're playing with cars! Do you want to join?" Elysia asked. "MUMMY!"

Gracia appeared to the doorframe. "You were asking me honey?"

"Can we get ice cream? Please!" she asked. Gracia sighed.

"Honey, you had ice cream yesterday."

"But we want ice cream! Can't we get some? Please, mummy?"

She looked at the three of them and shook her head smiling. "Alright, alright. But then you won't get ice cream in a week, you hear me?"

"Yes mummy! Can I get chocolate?"

"Sure. You two?"

"Chocolate's fine", Winry said.

"Yeah", Ed agreed.

"And back to the cars! Do you want this one?" Elysia asked and gave Ed a blue car. Somehow it reminded of Roy's eyes. And unfortunately about his mother's eyes as well. He sighed and made a fake smile.

"Of course. What do we do now?"

Elysia hit his car with her own. "BOOM! Hah ha, it exploded! You have to repair it now!"

Ed smiled a little hesitantly. This was going to be really complicated. Kids' games were so different.

* * *

Roy rang the doorbell and waited for Gracia to open the door which she did with a faint smile on her lips.

"Come in", she greeted him nicely and guided to the hallway. "Edward?! Could you come down?! Roy's here!"

It didn't take long to hear Ed's metal foot banging quite loudly to the stairs. Ed appeared with a stubborn look on his face.

"You listening?" he asked angrily and gritted his teeth. Roy answered with a glare.

"Alright. I'm listening", he said and sat down to the sofa. Ed nodded for Gracia to leave them alone for a while before sitting to the other couch.

"Are you going to believe a word I'm going to say?" he asked Roy. Roy snorted.

"Depends on what you say."

Ed gave him a deadly glare. "What if I promise it's all true? Would you still listen?"

"I'd listen, yes. Believe… still depends on what you say."

"Roy, I'm not going to bother if you don't believe me."

Roy sighed. "Ed just come home, please."

"No, I'm not coming home before you'll believe me!" Ed yelled. Roy saw the desperate look on his face and leaned back.

"I'm listening. Tell me why you ran away."

Ed looked at him a little suspiciously before starting. "You heard me last night. You heard me on the phone. Your mum drives me crazy and she doesn't want me around."

"That's ridiculous Ed! Of course she wants you around, she's worried about you!"

It took all Ed's strength not to stand up. "That's how she acts so you don't start suspecting! But in reality she slaps me all the time, she teases and bullies me and she said that she wants me to go away right at my face! Do you want me to quote her? I can remember it word to word!"

"Then let it come out, I'm waiting!"

Ed made a sadly smiling face and started to talk with a malicious high voice. "Alright Ed. I'll make this simple so your little brain will understand it too. You are on my way. I want my son to find a nice woman and settle down with her. Maybe even have kids of his own. But you're on my way. You're on his way. I want you out."

Roy chuckled. "Nicely practiced."

"I didn't practice it", Ed hissed back. Want to hear more? Want to hear _why _I exactly didn't fit in her son's life?"

"Well shot your story out now that you've already started."

"You're not his. You're violent, impolite, depressed and probably crazy. Is that enough for you? If you care about my little Roppy, you go. I don't care how you do it", Ed continued with high pitched voice. It was almost like his mum's.

"My mum would never say anything like that. You're really determined to get her out."

Ed's face turned red. But it wasn't like he was blushing, he looked more like blowing up. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. That's your problem. I rather stay in here than come back to _you_. Go back to your mummy, she must be waiting to see her little Roppy!" he bellowed and stood up. When he started to head back upstairs Roy took his wrist.

"You aren't going anywhere Ed."

"And who says so?" Ed hissed back and tried to free his hand. Roy turned his arm in a hurting position. Ed gasped.

"…You…!"

"I don't know why you left Ed, maybe you're just jealous to my mum, which is really unneeded but you're coming back home now. Where's your suitcase?"

"Let go of me!" Ed snarled and Roy turned his arm a little more. Ed closed his eyes and growled.

"Where. Is. Your. Suitcase?" Roy snarled angrily. It wasn't like he really wanted to hurt Ed but bad kids needed to be punished.

"…Mrs. Hughes! Help me!" Ed yelled and Roy let go of his hand. Ed backed away quickly and started rubbing his left arm Roy had been holding.

"I can't believe you _dared_ to touch me", Ed hissed and started running up the stairs. Roy gritted his teeth and ran after him.

"Ed, come back in here right now!"

Gracia stopped him at the end of the stairs. The door on the right slammed shut.

"What did you do Roy?" she asked angrily. Roy blushed.

"None of your concern. I'm taking him home now."

Gracia crossed her arms. "Roy, you aren't taking him anywhere if he doesn't want to."

"Who are you to say that? I'm the one who's responsible of him!"

"And not believing him isn't actually something you should do! In here we at least trust him. He's a nice boy Roy, but you ignoring him half of the time-"

"I do not ignore him half of the time! I don't ignore him at all!" Roy yelled back. Elysia and Winry peeked from the room at the end of the hallway.

"Mummy, what's going on?" Elysia asked fearfully. Winry held her hand and stared at Roy angrily.

Gracia smiled softly. "I'm teaching Uncle Roy a lesson."

"What lesson?" she asked and cuddled to her mum's leg. Winry didn't move from the doorframe.

"Uncle Roy needs to learn to listen to kids more."

Roy opened his mouth angrily they heard the front door of the house opening.

"I'm home, honey! Where's my little Elysia?"

"Daddy!" Elysia yelled happily and ran downstairs. Winry finally walked to Roy and slapped him.

"I don't know what's going on in here but I do know that Ed's really angry to you now. And he doesn't get mad without a reason", she snarled when Roy rubbed his cheek angrily.

"He makes my mum sound like a lunatic."

"He tells you the honest truth Roy. Can you figure out any other reason why he would've run away?"

"What's going on in here?" Maes asked as he walked in the scene.

"Gracia doesn't let me take Ed home", Roy snarled furiously.

"That's because Ed doesn't want to go before Roy opens his eyes and believes what he's telling about Roy's mother", Gracia said calmly. Roy glared at her angrily.

"That's no reason not to let me take him home!"

"Hey hey hey, slow down a little. Where's Ed, this can't be solved without him."

Gracia sighed. "Take Roy back to the lounge. I'll see if I can bring him."

"OK. Roy come here."

"I'm not a dog, Maes!" Roy snarled and stormed downstairs.

A while later Ed showed up with Gracia. He looked at Roy angrily.

"I'm not coming home, whether you like it or not", he growled. Roy's hands twitched but he didn't say anything.

"Alright Ed, let's say I believe you. Can you tell me what my mum said again?" he asked.

"All that I said to you before?"

"Yes. This time I'm really listening."

"Alright Ed. I'll make this simple so your little brain will understand it too. You are on my way. I want my son to find a nice woman and settle down with her. Maybe even have kids of his own. But you're on my way. You're on his way. I want you out." He kept a little pause before continuing. "You're not his. You're violent, impolite, depressed and probably crazy. Is that enough for you? If you care about my little Roppy, you go. I don't care how you do it."

"I don't get the last line", Roy admitted a little concernedly. Ed drew his knees closer to his chest.

"It's run away, make him kick you away or kill yourself", Ed said. "Or at least what I'd think."

"Probably not the last one anyway", Roy said. Maes was listening silently to their conversation.

"I wouldn't say so. You didn't see her face", Ed muttered. "Do you believe me? Or are you just acting to get be back home?"

Roy sighed. "I don't know Ed. I can't imagine my mum saying anything like that but I also can't imagine you lying to me that hardly. I just don't know."

"I'd believe Ed, Roy", Maes opened his mouth. "Your mother really is that horrible. He acts the sweetest mother in front of you but when he faces the ones he doesn't want in your life… you really should see her face. She loathes us."

Ed nodded quietly. "Loathe isn't a word strong enough to describe it."

"Well in my case loathe is enough in my case. But I guess she started panicking when she realised you had gotten so close to him so quickly without her knowing about it."

Roy shook his head. "This is just so much to take in."

"I know Roy. But you have to open your eyes sometime", Maes said. Roy sighed.

"So what do you want me to do? I don't have the guts to kick her out and I have no idea when she's leaving. And I want Ed home."

Ed looked at him sadly. "Can you at least not leave me alone with her? Can you protect me? Next time I run away I'm making sure you won't find me again."

Roy shook his head. "I can't promise, my mum's too smart. I don't want to risk losing you."

Ed lowered his head. "Then what are you going to do?"

Gracia hawked to get their attention. "What about this: Ed goes home with you Roy and you do your best to protect him. If it gets too frustrating to Ed he can come back and spend time in here until she leaves. She can't stay in Central forever."

Ed nodded. Roy stood up. "Where's your suitcase, Ed?"

Ed smiled. "I like your tone much more now."

Roy smirked. "Come on. Let's go home."

* * *

Did you notice that Ed has started to use the word "home"? It's a huge step! How long ago was it anyway that he refused to call it home?

Review as always... And I'll chuckle and make more chappies as always! Oh and yes... I can't update tomorrow. No idea after it but at least tomorrow I won't be able to do so. Just wanted to warn you!


	19. The king and queen of stubborness

Yay! This fic has gotten **300 reviews**! I'm so grateful for all of you! And I'm surprised how many reviewers want me to kill Roy's mum off. I mean... yes, she's mean, hateable and all but killing her? You're giving me the laugh of my life.

And I apologize the OOCness! I really do! Sometimes I just get a little carried away and all and... Alright, I ran out of excuses. Damn it. But anyway... Sorry! I probably should try to get it right again...

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 19  
**__The battle of the king and queen of stubbornness_

Roy opened the door and Ed shifted his leg to lean on nervously. It wasn't that he didn't like coming back to home, it was that he didn't like the idea of Roy's mum one bit. But maybe he could manage to solve things with her? …OK, maybe not. The chances for it were slim.

Roy's mum gave from the kitchen with a huge smile on her lips. It almost faded when her eyes focused on Ed. Ed made sure to keep close to Roy. It was funny how he suddenly trusted someone else to protect him better than himself.

"Oh, you found him Roppy!" she said nicely. "I knew you'd do it!"

Roy nodded sleepily. "Yeah. Come on Ed, let's take your stuff back to your room."

"I guess I'll have to add a plate to the table…" she muttered and started wandering to the kitchen after giving Ed an icy glance. He sighed and followed Roy like a well trained dog.

Ed fell on his bed and closed his eyes. Roy chuckled.

"Annoyed or sleepy?" he asked cheerfully. Ed waved his hand.

"Both. I woke up pretty early, you know", he snarled and buried his head in his pillow. Roy dragged him up.

"I want you two to at least try to get along. And that means you're coming to eat supper", Roy stated and Ed growled. He looked at Roy with his big, pleading eyes.

"But I'm sleepy. And I'm not really hungry."

Roy shook his head. "Those won't work for me. Come on."

Ed took Roy's hand. "Pretty please!"

"No. You're coming and that's final", Roy snarled and lifted Ed in the air. Ed growled and started complaining.

"I have both feet now, I can walk by myself! Let me down, you… you..! You! Hey!"

Roy placed Ed in the chair next to his where the boy started sulking. He sighed as his mum started filling their plates. Roy's amount of food was way over his liking and Ed got only a little. Roy looked at his mum interrogatively. She raised her shoulders.

"I heard you two talking. If he's not hungry there's no reason giving him too much food", she said and sat down. Ed started moving his food around his plate. Roy started eating. His mum didn't look at Ed during the whole table conversation, and it wasn't like Ed talked anyway.

"Can I go to sleep now?" Ed asked after he had finally managed to eat all his food. Roy stood up with his own empty plate but his mum grabbed it.

"Let me take it. Just go to sleep Roppy, you must be exhausted…"

Ed rolled his eyes and flushed his own plate and walked in his room. He closed the door and growled angrily. There was a knock in the door.

"If you're Roy, you can enter!" he yelled and crushed to his bed again. Roy opened the door and peeked in.

"You seemed angry?"

"Not angry, irritated", Ed snarled back and yawned. "I really am sleepy, you know. Did you have something else to say?"

Roy smiled and walked next to Ed's bed. "Nothing in particular. Just wondering if you're still afraid of the dark."

Ed hit him with his left arm. Roy snarled. "I can't decode your answer."

"I am not a little child anymore."

Roy raised his eyebrows. "Oh? But you still are afraid of the dark, aren't you?"

"…Bastard."

"Hey, I'm not saying it's a bad thing!" Roy defended himself. Ed snorted.

"Yeah, right. You're just hinting at it." He yawned again and Roy tapped his head.

"You should undress and go to sleep. If you need me I'll be in the lounge."

"Okay", Ed answered and threw his black jacket away and started fighting with his leather pants. Roy shook his head and left the room.

* * *

It wasn't long after Roy and Ed had both fallen asleep when Mrs. Mustang opened the door of Ed's room with a malicious look on her face.

If the boy had wanted the war, he was going to get it. How dared he come back after all? It just wasn't fair. And she was going to show him that it was the wrong choice. She had won every single battle she had been in. And this wasn't going to be the first one she was going to lose. She was _not_ losing to a mere child. That was for sure.

She opened the windows so the cold autumn wind started flowing to the room. After that she took the boy's blanket and threw it on the floor next to the boy's bed. She wasn't planning to get caught.

The boy snarled something in his sleep and curled up.

She left the room grinning viciously.

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Ed woke up feeling cold and sleepy. Cold was all over him. He tried to pull his blanket better on him but realised that it was gone.

"…What the…?" he muttered and saw the blanket on the floor. He must've kicked it off in his sleep. His nose was blocked-up. He growled and took the blanket with his shaking hands and buried himself in it. But the blanket was cold too.

His head ached and eyes felt sore. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. But it wasn't like he didn't know what his symptoms meant. He laid his left hand to his forehead which was burning hot.

"Damn it…" he growled. "ACHOO!"

It was so unfair how he started to get ill all the time right now! He hated being ill!

He noticed the open windows.

…He was sure he didn't leave them open. He had checked them. And he couldn't make up any reasonable reason for Roy to open them.

…Though he did for Roy's mum. He sneezed again. That bloody mother of his! That was enough, the war was on! And he wasn't going to lose it! This bitch was going to get to see the best of him. He was going to drive the crazy granny even crazier! That was for sure! And he was going to make it so well that Roy wouldn't ever notice!

He stood up and closed the window. After that he sneezed again. Damn cold… He tried to rub his left shoulder but with freezing automail it wasn't really helping. He sighed. Then an idea hit him…

He grinned maliciously as he stepped to the living room and cuddled in Roy's arms. Yes, this was a warm and comfortable place to sleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

"ACHOO!"

Roy groaned and opened his eyes to see Ed's blond hair right at his face.

"Ed, what the…?" he whispered.

"ACHOO!" the kid sneezed again and cuddled closer to Roy. Roy sighed.

"Ed, are you OK?" he asked worryingly.

"It's nothing, I'm perfectly fine…" Ed started before an idea hit him. Roy would probably spend more time with him if he knew he was ill… and that was going to drive Roy's mum one of the angriest person in the whole world. He grinned but made sure that Roy wasn't going to see it. "…Or maybe I'm not. I'm feeling pretty cold."

Roy snarled and tried Ed's forehead. "Ed, you're burning hot! You must've caught a fever."

"I hate being sick..!" Ed cried out and buried his head in Roy's chest. Roy sighed.

"I know Ed, when did you catch it? I'm sure you were fine just yesterday…"

Ed smiled. Why not start hinting out Roy's mum's doings right away? More points for him. "Some idiot came at night and opened my windows. I checked them at night, I'm sure they were closed… but when I woke up later they were open… my room's freezing…"

"But who would've done that Ed?" Roy wondered. Ed drew back a huge urge to sigh.

"Well if it wasn't me or you I'd say it was your mum. Except if here's a burglar."

Roy shot up immediately. Now Ed couldn't help but sigh. "Roy, the burglar thing was a joke."

"…Oh. You mean my mum did it?"

"Does anything else come to your mind?" Ed snarled. "Come back to sleep, I'm cold."

Roy came back to sleep and hugged Ed slightly. Ed sneezed again.

"That's a bad cold you've cached."

"Mmhm. I don't usually catch cold but when I do I usually catch a bad one."

"Do you want water?"

"No. I want to sleep", Ed said and enjoyed the warm feeling of Roy's body next to him. He wished he'd manage to see Roy's mum's face at morning.

* * *

"Ed, wake up", Roy said gently and shook Ed slightly. The kid snarled for response.

"I won't. I'm sleeping, what did we talk about waking me up?" he muttered.

"I need to get to work in an hour. Come on, be strong", Roy said and raised Ed up in a sitting position from his armpits. Ed rubbed his head.

"But Roy, I'm sleepy! Don't you ever have a day off?" he asked and stretched his left arm. He caught the sight of Roy's mother sulking in the breakfast table and fought hard not to smile. He took Roy's hand. "Help me up."

Roy helped him up and he sneezed again. He had really gotten a bad cold. "Roy, I need to blow. Do you have paper?"

"Right over here", he said and started guiding Ed to one of the cupboards in the kitchen. When Roy wasn't looking he grinned at Roy's mum who looked at him angrily. Actually the woman's first move had helped him more than troubled. But something told him it wasn't over just yet.

Roy gave him a piece of paper and he blew his nose. After that he threw the paper to the trash can.

"I'm going to get my clothes", he said and wandered to his room.

This was going to be fun. Or maybe not. Who knew?

* * *

When they came back from work Roy's mum had her revenge all planned up. Ed had to just look at the supper and decide he would rather kill himself than eat it. There was milk all over it.

"I thought that warm fish soup would help your cold", Roy's mum said nicely and put a huge amount of it in his plate. Ed covered his mouth.

"It's full of milk! I don't drink milk! I hate it!" he started complaining. Roy's mum raised her eyebrows.

"Are you allergic to it?" she asked curiously. Ed shook his head.

"No. But I'm not going to eat that."

Roy sighed. "Ed, she was just thinking the best of you."

"No she wasn't. I've already told her that I don't drink milk, she just-!"

"Ed, you're eating it or sitting in the table for the rest of the night", Roy growled. Roy's mum looked happy. Ed sulked.

"Then I'm sitting. I'm not eating it."

"Milk's good for you. Maybe you'd grow taller", Roy's mum said. Anger shook Ed's body.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE'D LOSE EVERY FIGHT HE GETS ON JUST BECAUSE THE OTHER COMPETITIONERS ARE OVER A HUNDRED TIMES BIGGER THAN HE IS AND JUST SIMPLY STEP ON HIM!?!"

"I didn't say anything like that. Are you sure your ears are OK?" she asked nicely. Ed's body trembled. Roy quickly guided Ed away, forgetting about the food himself too.

* * *

An hour later Ed came to the lounge with a handful of framed photos. Roy raised his eyebrows.

"What are those?" he asked curiously. Ed smiled.

"I got them from Mr. Hughes at your work. I didn't know he had so many pictures of us, did you? So I asked him for a few and he gave me a few! Do you think this fits in here nicely?" he asked and put the picture in a place where it was easily noticed. Roy's mum's face was stunned.

"…I guess so", Roy answered, not noticing why Ed was really putting them around the house.

"I'm putting one in your room, one in my room, one in the kitchen and this one in here. How does it sound?" he asked cheerfully. Roy's mum's eyes widened out of rage which she was trying to block in.

"Great", Roy said and turned his face back to his book. Ed started springing to Roy's room and made sure to make the best picture of them so it pointed right at Roy's bed where his mum was temporally sleeping. After that he heard a crash and ran back to the lounge.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Roppy, I'm getting a little old to control my movements…" Roy's mum wailed and Ed's eyes hit the broken frames and the ragged picture on the floor. He smiled.

"Oh, it's OK. I can fix it", he said and clapped his hands. Roy's mum's face was awesomely surprised and furious as she saw the picture and the frames shining like they were new. Ed smiled and put the picture back where it had been.

"You have a nice smile in this one, Roy!" he pointed out and sneezed. After that he cuddled in Roy's arms.

Roy's mum stormed back to Roy's room but Ed didn't hear the sound of breaking frames. He smirked.

He yawned and Roy put the book away.

"You sure you're fine?" he asked again. It was about the 50th time that day. 33 had been right in front of his mother. Ed had counted.

"I'm sleepy, I'm cold and my head hurts", Ed answered. Roy stood up and lifted him up on his strong arms. At first Ed had been fighting against those irritating bursts of caring but after once seeing Roy's mum's face he had made a habit to giggle so that she surely knew he was doing it again.

Roy carried him to his room. Ed yawned and shivered even though his room wasn't actually cold anymore.

"Roy, do you have something else I can put on? I'm cold already and sleeping in boxers and a sleeveless shirt isn't that warm… and it's just so fucking uncomfortable to sleep with a jacket and leather pants…"

Roy fluffed his hair and stood up. "I'm going to watch if I can find something. Just rest, OK?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Roy rolled his eyes and left him alone for a while. During that time he started to plan his next movement. Roy came back after a few minutes.

"These may be a little big but I don't have any better ones", he said and gave Ed very old looking old collage shirt and pants. Ed smiled and put them on.

"Well they're a lot warmer anyway."

"Are you still cold?"

"A little", he said and Roy started rubbing his left arm. If Ed had been a cat he would've purred. Talking about cat, Ed had named the one they had found Whiskers. It spent most of the time sleeping in Roy's wardrobe. Ed was well aware that Roy's mum had not liked to find out about it.

Roy stayed in the room until Ed fell asleep. The last thing Ed remembered seeing was the shadow of Roy's mum standing behind his door.

* * *

The following morning Roy's mum "accidentally" spilled milk all over Edward. He ran to the bathroom bellowing furiously and changed her shampoo to oil. After that Roy's mum chopped Ed down so he almost fell down the little stairs in front of the house. He would've fallen if Roy hadn't cached him in time. When they came back Roy's mum started trying to turn Roy's mind to force him drink milk. THAT WOMAN AND HER STUPID MILK, DAMN IT! He was going to get a milk _phobia _if she went on like this! For revenge he sneezed "accidentally" right at her face.

And the funniest thing of all was the fact that Roy didn't seem to notice the war going on and on right before his eyes.

* * *

And I do not meant that Roy's stupid with the last line. Because he isn't. I just mean that he trust both of them too much to realise that those "accidents" aren't really accidents. Haha, poor naïve Roppy!

Okay, now, give me more reviews! Not that 300 hundred isn't enough but... well I like getting them.** xD**


	20. Questioned faith

I apolgize for this horrible chapter... don't kill me!

And I'm highly surprised how one of the latest reviewers managed to guess what was going to happen in this chappy. Wow. Lucky you.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.****

* * *

****PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 20  
**__Questioned faith_

Roy's mum was driving Ed crazy. Ed was driving Roy's mum crazy. It was a never ending circle. Do that, do this, act like that, act like this. Both were grinning to each others maliciously behind Roy's back. Both were trying to get the last strike to end it all well for themselves and drive the other one out. But it was just their luck that both of them were stubborn and smart.

"Roppy, what happened to that poor little boy?" Roy's mum asked Roy one day. Unfortunately for her Ed had just arrived to the scene and opened his mouth before Roy managed to do so.

"It's something I'm not running around and telling to everyone, thank you. Leave it alone", he snarled and slammed his room's door shut but kept listening to Roy's and his mum's conversation just in case. He was biting his left hand's fingernails and swallowing repeatedly. During war wasn't the time to break down, no matter what. Right now he needed to _focus_.

"That boy has a bad temper. I just asked. It would be easier to understand him if I knew", Mrs. Mustang complained to his son who was sipping his almighty coffee with milk and two spoons of sugar.

"He's always had a bad temper, don't get offended. And I don't think he's ready for everyone to know just yet", Roy answered calmly, probably already sick of his mother's interrogation. It wasn't the first time she was trying to make him tell about Ed's past but Roy knew how sensitive Ed was about it so he kept his mouth shut. Ed was thanking him in his mind.

Roy's mum took the newspaper from the paper and opened it. "It's not like I'm a stranger…"

"I know mum. But it isn't that long ago that you met either", Roy answered and sipped his coffee again, trying to finish it quickly so he could flee.

"But Roppy, it can't be that horrible… is it so embarrassing?"

Roy was lucky not to have any coffee in his mouth at the time his mother opened her mouth. Otherwise it would all be… well, somewhere else.

"No mum, it isn't embarrassing, it's more like… well, personal and all. Just give him some space, OK? He needs it", Roy said. Ed could hear his mum snorting faintly.

"Personal indeed. Would think his family would need to know."

Ed paled. That bitch! Yeah, family indeed! He almost stood up and ran to the kitchen just to get the pleasure of hitting her as hard as he could! His fists were shaking for rage and he had to bit his lip to keep from bellowing out. He was going to get his revenge..!

"I know mum, but I don't think he counts you as a part of his family just yet. It took quite a while to make him trust me… and I've known him for about four years. If I were you, I wouldn't push it. Just give him time."

"But Roppy, for you it was easy considering you knew so much about him! All I know is he's age and a part of his personality. And that he was part of that stupid military too." She chuckled. "16. Let me laugh, he's so tiny that-"

Ed got up and opened the door as casually as he could. "Hey daddy, have you seen my…" he let his voice fade and acted to get shocked from what he had said. Roy and his mum were staring at him like he had hit his head. He swallowed "nervously." "I mean… err… nothing! Bye!" he said and slammed the door shut after seeing Roy's mum's face. He was sure she knew it wasn't a pure accident at all but Roy's face… Well he had seemed shocked. Ed chuckled. There you go, Mrs. Mustang!

After that he fell on his bed and relaxed for a while. It was a well-deserved reward. Someone opened his room's door and he changed his face quickly to shocked to keep up his act. Roy closed the door and kneeled down next to his bed.

"So you finally feel that way, eh?" he asked and Ed shook his head.

"I don't know. I just don't. I don't know what made me say that", he babbled and sat up. Roy hugged him.

"Well you feel like a son to me."

Ed paled. He was shocked to say at least. Yes, he had been expecting it for quite a while but he had also not been completely sure. Was this Roy's sick joke or did he really mean it? Ed didn't respond to his hug but it didn't upset Roy.

"I don't know Roy. What if I'd really feel so and then something would happen to you?" Ed whined. "…I just couldn't cope with it. And I don't know. I just don't." Damn it, he was just repeating himself! This didn't happen very often but when it did, it really did. "I mean I-"

"Don't worry, it's not like I'm asking you to decide it now", Roy said gently and smiled. "I'm just asking you to… think about it."

God, things had gotten so complicated just because he wanted to get a payback to Roy's mum! Maybe he shouldn't have done that… Now he was just confused. Roy let go of him.

"You seem like Fuery would've slapped you", he chuckled. Ed tried to focus his eyes again and glared at Roy angrily.

"Was that an insult!?" he asked angrily and Roy rolled his eyes. Ed snorted and jumped on Roy who fell to the ground.

"Aaargh! A midget just attacked me!"

"DON'T CALL ME A MIDGET, YOU GIANT!" Ed screamed back and Roy managed to stand up and lift him in the air _again_. He started kicking furiously and tried to reach Roy's face with his fists.

"But of course I look like a giant when you're so incredibly small. Maybe we should go to a museum and ask if they want to make a wax doll of you. I can imagine it, "the smallest human ever."

"YOU-! HOW DARE YOU! Is that something to do to a son!?"

Roy smiled and put Ed back to the ground. "Well from what I've heard fathers like to tease their sons."

"I HATE YOU! OUT! NOW!" Ed bellowed and pointed at the door. Roy fluffed his hair.

"Of course, honey. Tell me when dinner's ready."

Ed attacked him again and they wrestled on the floor for an half an hour, luckily not getting any more bruises. Roy's mum sat on the couch stroking Whiskers and muttering to herself jealously.

* * *

Next day Ed was lying on the couch again, biting his left hand's fingernails which had became a bad habit during the few latest days. It kept his mind somewhere and helped him to relax once in a while. Riza opened the door and waved her head silently as an attend to get Roy to her. Roy raised his eyebrows and she sighed.

"Sir, there's a new case for you. It's really urgent, could you come here for a while..?" she asked and looked hesitantly at Ed who was starting at the nervous lieutenant.

"It's not like you can't talk in front of me?" he asked lazily. Riza smiled.

"You're not a part of the military anymore Ed. Come Colonel, the others are waiting."

Roy sighed and followed Riza. Anything to get away from the boring papers if just for a few minutes. He was so sick of them right now. And he believed that Ed would be able to behave for a while.

Ed sulked on the couch. Without having someone to mutter to once in a while this day was going to be extremely boring.

* * *

"What is it lieutenant?" Roy asked as he stepped to the next room. Riza turned.

"Derek Root is on loose. Don't ask me how he managed to escape, everyone are shocked. But during his whole day in the jail he's been babbling on and on about finishing his job. He's after Edward, Roy."

Roy paled. "What the..? How did they manage!? Is there any sightings?" He asked. Riza gave him a paper.

"All sightings are there. As you can see, they're all in Central. We have to find him fast and keep Ed safe.

Fuery had his headphones on and he was switching channels quickly. After a little while he raised his hand. "He's in front of the Central library!"

"Let's go", Roy said but Riza stopped him.

"You can't just storm out without saying anything to Ed!"

"What do you suggest me to say? 'Hey Ed, remember the maniac who killed your brother? Oh, you do? Well he's in front of the library now and I need to go and send him back to jail. Could you wait in here?' Just imagine how well it would work out?"

She smiled sadly. "I know. Make up a lie."

"I can't lie! You know it!" he wailed. Riza sighed.

"Just tell him you have to go and catch a criminal on loose and you'll be back as early as you can. How does it sound?"

He nodded nervously. "OK. God, I hate lying to him."

"GO", Riza ordered and pushed him towards the door. She closed the door behind him and clapped her hands. "Alright everyone! Get ready, we're going out."

* * *

"…Ed?" Roy asked nervously. Ed lifted his head slightly.

"Wow, it didn't take long."

Roy shook his head. "We're just leaving. A criminal on loose and we have to go and catch him. Hopefully it won't take long."

Ed waved his hand. "You're leaving me here, aren't you?"

Roy nodded. "Yes. And Edward, _please_, promise me you won't leave this building."

Ed raised his eyebrows suspiciously. "Is there something you should tell me Mustang?" he said icily. Roy felt a sweat drop on his temple.

"No. I'm just worried you'll run away again."

Ed stood up. "Spit it out Mustang."

"Spit what out?"

"What are you hiding!? Tell me! I'm not an idiot!" he bellowed at him. Roy sighed and tried to cool down. He put his hands on Ed's shoulders.

"You are not an idiot Ed, I know it. I'll be right back, OK? Let's talk more then?"

Ed backed away and looked at him disappointedly. "You'll come back, will you?"

Roy nodded. "Of course. You won't see a day I won't come back. I promise."

* * *

"ROOT! GIVE IN, YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS!" Roy bellowed as his subordinates were all pointing a gun at the man in the middle of their circle. Even in a situation this, it was amazing how Root managed to smile.

"You sure?" he asked with a grin. Roy looked at the man in rage. After all the man had done, how was it possible he would be out of jail anyway after a few tens of years? After all he had done to Alphonse, after all the pain he had gave to Edward, after all the worry and sorrow he had given to the people close to them? Sometimes life wasn't fair.

"Surrender or we'll shoot you. And I mean it. We won't hesitate."

"Oh, but why Colonel? You wouldn't shoot me, would you? Why are you so angry? For me it seems like you're losing it…"

"For me it seems like you've lost your saneness a long time ago. I'm counting to ten. One, two-"

The man grinned. "Hasta la vista, Colonel Mustang. See you in hell."

BANG BANG BANG.

Oh how they hoped the sounds would have come from their guns. But no.

Colonel Mustang drew in a pained breath and fell backwards. His subordinates lost focus to the situation and Root disappeared.

"COLONEL! COLONEL!" Riza yelled and ran to check his pulse. "SOMEONE GET HELP!"

With his last conscious thoughts Roy remembered thinking about how he had failed with his promise to Ed.

* * *

"Someone should tell Ed", Havoc said as they sat in the waiting room.

"We can't let him come here alone and you know it Havoc. It's too dangerous to him", Riza said. Havoc looked at her angrily.

"It doesn't mean he can't know. He must be worried. It's been three hours since we left."

"Are you willing to go there right now, tell him and get him in here safely?" Riza said with a glare. Havoc snorted.

"I'm waiting for Colonel to wake up."

"As is everyone else in here. After we're sure he's going to be just fine, we will tell him. But as no one offers to leave right now… I guess it has to wait."

"It's still not fair for him. What if we'd call Roy's mum and ask him to take Ed too?" Havoc went on. Riza sighed.

"And do you honestly believe she's going to take a detour just to get Ed in here? I don't think so."

"What if someone from the military would bring him?" Fuery opened his mouth. Riza straightened her posture.

"Military officers are busy enough without dragging a teen-ager to the hospital."

"You suggest us to just leave him in Roy's office? We have no idea how long this will take!" Havoc complained. Riza would've taken her gun out and shot a warning just to make the man shut up but considering the fact that they were in a hospital she decided against it.

"He will be safe there", she stated stubbornly. "He is _not_ going to wander here alone. That's final."

"I bet Roy'd want him to be here after he wakes up too!" Havoc yelled. Riza shook her head.

"He'll understand, Havoc."

"I don't like this! You know how rumours spread. What if he finds out about Roy's condition before someone else tells him?"

"He's safe in Roy's office. I locked it so no one will get in. He won't be hearing any rumours."

"I still don't like this."

"None of us do, Havoc. None of us do."

* * *

Ed snarled and transmuted Roy's furniture time after time to something else and back. His normal office desk became old stylish and showy and then he transmuted it back to what it was. He made the couch a statue of himself and changed it back. He even took Roy's pens and transmuted them to cute little animal-statues to his desk. He let them be for a while before changing them back and looked at the clock.

Six o'clock. Damn it with Roy. It was taking too long! He kicked the wall angrily with his real leg. But it didn't help. He grunted and fell back to the couch.

What if something had happened? Nah, of course not. Nothing serious anyway. Otherwise someone would've informed him already. It was just taking a little longer than expected. And Roy had promised him to come back just fine.

His stomach grumbled. He bit his lip angrily. That bastard! Didn't he know that people needed to _eat_ once in a while? He hadn't gotten anything since breakfast which had been a few pathetic slices of bread! Damn he needed something to eat, NOW!

He tried to kick the room's door open but noticed it was locked. What the..!? WERE THEY JOKING OR SOMETHING!? He clapped his hands and transmuted a new door and stepped to the hallway. A few officers were looking at him dumbly.

"WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT!?" he bellowed and transmuted the wall back. The military men quickly turned their gazes and went back to their conversation.

"So he's at the hospital now? Is he OK?" One asked. Another one nodded.

"Yup. Colonel Mustang was shot _three times_. Just imagine it! He's such a role model!"

Ed froze and turned back. "What did you just say?"

The man talking before turned at him. "Haven't you heard about Colonel Mustang yet?"

"...What should I have heard about him?" Ed asked hesitantly. The man seemed happy to tell his story once again.

"I don't know if you heard but this criminal who was after the Elric-kids escaped from prison. Colonel and his crew were trying to catch him but… BANG! Mustang's in the hospital and the prisoner is still on loose."

Ed paled. "He's in the hospital? How bad is it?"

"Three bullets. No idea where they hit him, but the rumours say he didn't look so good. But that was several hours ago…"

"Which hospital!?" Ed yelled. The man raised his eyebrows.

"You know him?"

"Yes! Where is he!? ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!"

"Well there's only one hospital in Central so I guess you know it."

Ed ran away as quickly as he could. The man snorted. "…Didn't even thank, the ungrateful kid…"

Damn it, Mustang! How dared he get himself in the hospital!? HOW DARED HE!? He promised to come back safe and sound, so why did the asshole go and get shot with _three_ fucking bullets!

He slowed down. But those were just rumours, right? Maybe they weren't even true?

But then why had it taken so long!? Why was everyone talking about it! Every rumour had it's start!

AND THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE NEVER TOLD HIM IT WAS THE SAME MANIAC WHO KILLED AL! He would go at the hospital to beat the shit out of Mustang and after that run after the maniac for revenge. For revenge for what he had did to Al.

Someone grabbed his hands from behind and pressed a wet rag on his mouth. Ed cried out of surprise and started to struggle.

He breathed in and smelled a sweet scent. His instincts were becoming numb…

Down…

_Down.

* * *

_AARGH! Nooo! Edo! Mwahahaa, I'm _so_ evil. And I still apologize this horrible chapter, I just couldn't make it work out exactly how I wanted. Grr. Well I'll do my best with next chappy... in there will be more _angst_. You people have missed it, haven't you? **;D**

And I won't write the chapter if you don't review, so do so. I'll try to update as soon as I can but I'm still not quite sure when I'll manage... maybe tomorrow, maybe not.


	21. Missing

I am _so sorry _that it took so long! How many of you are still alive for this chappy? Ed-torture coming, yay!

And thanks for my most awesome reviewers, the last chappy got... was it over thirty reviews? Well I was amazed! Thank you so much and keep reviewing!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 21  
**__Missing_

Ed was feeling fuzzy, stiff and his head ached like hell. What happened? He moaned pathetically and tried to move his body but found out that his right arm refused to move and his left arm was uncomfortably tied up somewhere behind him. He clenched his teeth and opened his right eye.

Everything was blurry for a brief while and even after that it took a while before he could really see anything clearly. It was dark already… he was probably underground in the middle of a night. He snorted and opened his other eyes well. Nobody was around. At least from what he could see. Pain ran through his body again and he closed his eyes. God how much he just wanted to sleep… but no, he couldn't sleep now! He had to get out and go to Roy, he needed to make sure that he was going to be alright! He couldn't give up now!

He tried to swallow but his mouth was dry and his throat ached. How fantastic. Like he wasn't feeling fuzzy already, but he had to be incredibly thirsty too. Just fantastic. He heard his bones cracking uncomfortably as he tried to turn to see where his right arm was tied to.

Yeah, this really was his luck. He was fucking _handcuffed_ to a _metal _pipe. And he couldn't move his right arm so he could clap his hands and transmute himself off. Whoever had gotten him must've done something to his automail. Now it was just unneeded weight on his right side. He growled angrily and tried to scream.

"Help! Somebody help me!" he managed to yell very hoarsely before he started coughing. His mouth was just so _dry_. Hip, hip hurray. He was never getting away from this.

He felt a tear on his eyes. Was he ever going to see Roy again? Was he alright? Was he… was he even alive anymore? Was he worrying over him? Had he even noticed he was gone? Was he alive, damn it, he needed to know! He felt hot tears on his cheeks. Why was everyone close to him dying? Why!? First mum, then Al and now Roy. A silent sob escaped from his lips. Fantastic, crying was making him thirstier than he was already and he had no idea when he was getting something to drink again. He was just so tired, fuzzy, thirsty, hungry and anguish. He just wanted to pass out so he could stop thinking, stop feeling, stop crying. He didn't want to think about Roy. He didn't want to think about Al. And he didn't want to think about his mum either.

Shivers of cold ran through his back as he cried. The place he was in was damp and freezing. His warm red coat seemed to be long lost and the rest of his clothes were wet. He sneezed. Like he didn't feel bad already, but this too!? He just wanted to get back to Roy, damn it! He missed the man! Yes! He admitted it, he missed him, he missed his warmth, his gentle touch, his stupid teasing, the feeling of safety lingering around him! He missed him standing next to him in the darkness, in the fucking darkness which was swallowing him even now! He just wanted to cuddle next to him! And he didn't even know if the man was alive! And he was probably never going to find out judging by the way things looked! Would he see him too after death? Would he see _anyone_ after death? His head hurt just so much… It was so hard to think, but he just couldn't stop!

He tried to lean back comfortably but failed with his attempt. The tears finding their way to his mouth were making him so badly thirsty that he almost tried to roll over and try to get some dampness of the ground to his mouth. If he'd just listened to Roy he wouldn't be there, Roy had just been thinking about the best of him once again. And he had dared to run off and ignore it. Once again. If he hadn't left maybe he'd hear news about him soon, maybe he would be crying on the comfortable sofa instead of this hard ground which seemed to be made of cement. He started wailing.

God Roy, just be OK. Be OK and save me. I want to see you so much… you don't deserve to die because of me.

He heard footsteps coming closer.

* * *

Roy woke up feeling numb and tired. He groaned and moved his right hand slightly to a little more comfortable position.

"Colonel? Colonel, are you awake?"

"Roppy, god you scared me!"

"Roy? How are you feeling?"

"Colonel, thank god-!"

The sudden voices were making his head hurt. And talking about pain, his body was slightly in pain too. He opened his eyes which watered for a brief while because of the sudden bright light almost blinding them.

His mum, Riza, Maes, Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman. He felt honoured to have them all in there.

Just one person was missing. He groaned again.

"Where's Ed?" he managed to say hoarsely. His mum seemed a little defended and Riza sighed.

"We haven't told him yet, Roy."

Roy snarled. "Why?"

"Because nobody of us was willing to pick him up before you woke up and we didn't want him to come here alone because Root is still on loose."

Typical Riza. So military-like and loyal. But sometimes her decisions just didn't make people _happy_. It kept people alive but left them grumpy.

He raised his eyebrows sleepily. "Oh. Can someone go and get him now?"

Riza nodded and bowed before leaving the room, eyeing the other military men to follow her as she did. Roy was left in the room alone with his mum.

"How are you feeling, Roppy?" she asked concernedly. Roy sighed and closed his eyes.

"Honestly", he started and felt a small smile rise on his lips, "probably worse than ever."

* * *

Ed growled furiously as his kidnapper stepped in front of him, carrying a small tool box on his right hand.

"Always have a plan B, Edward", he said and kicked him right at his face. Ed got sand in his mouth and tried to spit it out but with dry mouth he wasn't succeeding that well. He could feel the sand crunching uncomfortably as he clenched his teeth and rubbing his already dry throat.

"You shot Roy", he spat out, making the man laugh, obviously out of maliciousness. He felt his left hand clinching to a shaky fist.

"I've never really shot anyone before. I was amazed that I hit. And full three times. Poor man wasn't looking good." He finished his sentence with a crazy laugh. Ed tried to kick him with his still moving untied right leg but the man was too far. His face immediately changed from crazy to pure disgust and fury. Ed felt cold shivers running up and down his spine.

The man stepped on his leg and Ed gasped. It wasn't like the man was gentle, actually the exact opposite.

"You should learn to respect people _bigger_ than you, Mr. Elric", Root growled dangerously and leaned closer to him. Ed could smell his breath on his face. His whole body was shaking as Root slapped his cheek. God, like he hadn't gotten slaps in there enough already with Mrs. Mustang!

"I don't respect people like _you_", he snarled and the man backed away to his tool box and pulled out a knife. Ed froze. The man pinned his leg down again and ran the knife's edge down his throat. Ed didn't dare to move.

"I don't respect people like you either. 'Hero' they say. But you're nothing but a cold murderer. You serve the military with your abilities that could _help_ people. And what do you do? Cause an upraising that kills my family, many of my friends and many, many other people. You're no hero" he said dangerously and let the knife sink in Ed's chest. He held back a scream but couldn't help gasping loudly.

"What upraising?"

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Root purred and Ed clenched his teeth as the man slid the knife away. He felt blood dropping down his shoulder and making him feel even dirtier. Where was Roy when he needed him!?

"No", he snarled and took a deep breath before gazing stubbornly to his captor's eyes. "And answer me." He wasn't getting away alive and he knew it. The man was just having fun for now but he'd have the guts to kill him. Or did he? But he'd killed Al and shot Roy… did he kill Roy too? Ed didn't know but he felt tears in his eyes once again as the man raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"Lior's", the man snarled and Ed coughed.

"Lior? I didn't-!? I couldn't!?" he gasped and the man pushed him hardly against the pipe. Ed felt pain in his arm. If the man was going to push a few inches more it was definitely going to break.

"Oh yes you could, Edward. Your little trip in here was like drawing a bloody cross in the map. You've killed a lot of people. I can't be the only one who waits for your painful death…"

No… no! He couldn't! He had just eliminated the bloody traitor-priest in Lior, he had done nothing to cause an upraising! …Or at least that hadn't been what he had meant to do! He thought he'd saved the town, he thought the people there were going to be OK! He thought they'd get a better life! No! This wasn't what he wanted! He had caused people's death… He was a murderer himself. The thought sink in his mind and made him want scream and cry and cuddle to his mother's arms, but it wasn't like he had a mother. Making that… creature… and watching it die just in front of him…

God, he was a murderer… Who was he to blame others if he was one himself? It was like all the innocence left in him that he had been trying to protect was now permanently gone. There was nothing. There was nothing but the cold and the pain. The blame. The screams. He was so alone, he didn't even deserve anyone after all he had done. What would Winry say when she'd find out?

Why hadn't he gotten told about it!? Why!? Why had Roy kept it as a secret, god, just why?! Did he think that things would be different if he didn't know? That he'd be more innocent? Did he want someone so burdened as his son anymore? Did he see him as a murderer too? Had he accepted the fact that he was?

"Tell me… how's Roy? Is he alive?" Ed questioned desperately. He knew he shouldn't show his weak side to his captor but he couldn't help himself. He was just so worried… what if Roy was dead..? What if the last person who had stood there for him had died too..? What if Roy was gone, forever unreachable to him? It was so hard to breathe… It was so hard to do anything anymore.

"Roy? You mean that guy I shot?"

Ed nodded and looked the man in his eyes. Would the man even know anything about Roy? Would he know? Did Roy even have any chances? He must have, he's Roy!

"Oh. Sorry Elric, but he must be long gone already. Three bullets, blood everywhere. He didn't have many chances for survival", the man said and stepped back to his tool box. Ed started crying. Was Roy dead? Was he really dead? The world was so cold… He sneezed but it hurt his throat and made him feel fuzzy. The man put the bloody knife back into the tool box and stretched his hands.

"You're going to regret the day you stepped in Lior", he said dangerously and kicked Ed in his ribs. Ed felt his hand against his back breaking and screamed. The man was over him, kicking and punching his sensitive spots. Ed even threw up a few times during the man's kicks in his stomach.

He cried. He cried now that he still could. Because after all the years he had held everything in he needed just this one chance to get it all out.

* * *

"…He isn't here", Riza said after they had turned the office upside down ten times. Every officer was starting to panic. Fuery was shaking.

"If he's not here, where is he?" Breda asked and grabbed Havoc's cigarette just in time Havoc didn't bit it off and threw it out of the window. As usually Havoc took immediately a new one from his pocket.

"Maybe he was hungry?" Falman asked. Havoc shook his head.

But after fifteen minutes they were sure that Ed wasn't eating. At least in the military building. The men were watching Hawkeye rip some of her hair to half.

"I can't believe it! Where can he be?!" she bellowed furiously. Fuery tried to calm her down but gave up the idea after getting her gun pointed between his eyes.

"Go and ask. Ask everyone if anyone's seen him", she ordered and they split up. Ed was better be alright.

What would they say to Roy if he wasn't?

* * *

Ed spat out blood after the man was finished for that time. He had gone to somewhere else and Ed was lying limply against the metal pipe and trying to force air in his aching lungs. At least there was one good thing in this state. Even though the blood tasted bitter and horrible anyway he was getting something wet down his throat.

His whole body was trembling and every inch of his body ached like hell. He was hungry but even if he'd gotten something to eat he doubted that he could keep it in. He was feeling nauseous and his head ached harder than ever. He could feel a thick line of blood running down his bruised face. The loss of blood wasn't helping at all. He felt so horrible that it felt unexplainable.

His whole life had been suffering, but he had never suffered more than that day, that moment. Everything he had held dear to him was gone and he was a puddle of blood on the damp and hard floor, unable to even move freely. He had caused so many people's death that if the devils of hell existed they were going to welcome him with wide arms. This hadn't been what he had wanted from him life. He had wanted to live in harmony with everyone, have a happy, whole family and live in the countryside.

It was amazing how he had kept dreaming and dreaming of it even after he knew that it was never going to happen. He was so naïve himself that it was hard to see how he had called Roy naïve. He had never really gotten to tell the man how much he'd loved him. How he really felt. How he had let Roy to be part of the very few people he called his family. He loved his family, he was willing to do so many things for every member of it. And now he had lost one of it again. One that had made him feel happier during the dark times. His moonlight.

How much he wished that he'd see the faces of his dead family once he died too.

It wasn't going to be long until that if things went on this way.

He would soon get in the arms of his loving mother, brother and the person he considered as his father.

* * *

"Riza!" Havoc yelled as he spotted the blond woman pointing two men angrily with her gun. "A few guys remember telling him about the colonel and saw him running away after asking about the hospital!"

Riza cursed under her breath as the two men saw their chance and ran away. Breda and Fuery, standing beside Havoc, had already been informed about the seriousness of the situation. Riza sighed.

"Alright, no time to waste. Havoc runs and checks the hospital and if he's not here I'm sorry but I guess you have to tell about his disappearance to the colonel-"

"Why me…" Havoc muttered but ran away as he was ordered. Riza rolled her eyes as she went on.

"Fuery goes to look for Falman. You two will go and ask if people have seen him on the streets, just try to find him, OK? Breda comes with me. Now."

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S DISAPPEAREAD!?!?" Roy bellowed from the top of his lungs to Havoc whose cigarette fell to the floor. He quickly stepped on it to prevent a fire. Roy's mother slapped his son's cheek grumpily.

"Don't strain yourself, Roppy."

"…He's not there and somebody remembers him running out of the building", Havoc explained, ignoring Roy's mother's sentence. "I tried to warn Riza about rumours but she didn't listen and here's the result. We have no idea where he is. It's highly possible that Root has him."

Roy tried to get up but his mother forced him down.

"Mum, you need to let me go, he needs me-" he started but before Roy's mother managed to even open her mouth Havoc pushed the colonel back to his bed.

"You're going nowhere, colonel. You're going to stay in the bed as long as you need and judging by the way things are it might take a quite a while. We'll handle this."

Roy shook his head disbelievingly. "You can't just expect me to lie in my bed when Ed's in the hands of someone who wants to kill him!?"

"Yes I do, and you're going to do exactly that!" Havoc yelled back. "Do you think you're any kind of help for him in that condition?"

Roy shut his mouth but snarled furiously and tried not to move his shot shoulder. The bullets had hit his shoulder, left leg and left side. "I want him back alive, Havoc. And I want that maniac back behind bars. You understand?"

"Yes colonel! I'm on my way to help!" Havoc yelled and ran out of the room. This had better work out.

* * *

The man was cutting his left leg deeply, making it bleed heavily. Ed was feeling so fuzzy that it was hard to even really focus to the pain. He grunted.

"…How did you get out of the jail?" he asked sleepily. He gasped as the man cut deeper.

"With pure intelligence. None of your business", the man growled as an answer. Ed shrugged.

"After you've killed me… will you go back…?"

The man didn't even laugh. "No. After that I'll kill myself. Way better than jail."

"…I want you back to jail… for what you did for my brother…"

This time the man laughed. "I didn't get a punishment for that."

Ed froze. "…What?"

"No body, no evidence and that colonel of yours didn't risk telling that your dead brother was just a soul in the armour. All I got was a few tens of years because of you."

"…That can't be..! _It can't be!_ Al..!"

The man stroked the knife in Ed's left arm. He screamed. "It's funny how I got away from it. Blame your colonel in that one."

…And for the first time during the whole kidnap Ed really hoped that Roy had gotten a painful death.

* * *

I apologize how unclear it was... I'm feeling sleepy here...

Review? Pretty please?


	22. Why is the word

**I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO DAMN LONG TO UPDATE!**

Yeah, I apologize for that. Here are my famous excuses: I started aikido, my monday and friday went with that (from now on I'm not able to update on friday, by the way), school and homeworks get on my nerves, my friends want to hang around all the time, when I'm on computer my mind wanders off and all I get is a few crappy lines and... and! I think I'm done with these excuses... anyway: I'm so sorry!

400 reviews... you shouldn't have done that, now I feel even worse for taking so long... Thank you, thank you!

I apologize for this chappy after over a week's wait is a piece of crap (especially from the beginning) and all but I had problems making it work out. And about the lenght of this story, read the Author's Note in the ending of the chappy.

And I apologize for the characters being so OOC, especially Ed with the latest chappies and this chappy too. I'm just trying to show you how the events break him apart. Characters change, you know?

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

* * *

**PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY **

_**Chapter 22  
**__Why is the word_

Riza buried her head in her hands. Breda sulked next to her.

"This isn't going anywhere, you know. Nobody's seen them. It's too late", Breda noted but Riza shook her head.

"You know that we aren't quitting. We'll find him, there's no time to rest."

"What do you expect us to do? Is there any place we haven't checked so far? Personal buildings? Banks? He's a goner by this time, Lieutenant!"

Riza turned angrily. "Revenge is fascinating. I don't think Ed's dead by this time, Root wants to see him suffer before he'll execute him. They're somewhere. Somewhere… just where…?"

Breda sighed. "What about the underground warehouses?"

Riza's eyes shot wide. "Underground warehouses?"

"…Just an idea…" Breda muttered. The chick was crazy.

"Come on! We'll have to check!" Riza said and took her gun. Breda ran after her in fear of getting shot if he was too slow.

"Where should we even start?!" he bellowed after her. "There are tens of them!"

"There aren't many underground military warehouses!"

"Why military?! That's just crazy!" Breda laughed unhappily. The lack of sleep was getting on Riza's brains.

Riza smiled. "Military because that's unlikely place for us to look."

* * *

Everything's just _so _unclear… Nothing feels like _reality_… I'm dreaming right? This is just a stupid nightmare… All of this is… 

…God my head hurts like hell… I thought that dreams didn't hurt… but this one does, it hurts so much… I can't move my left arm, it's broken and swollen and bloody and all… I'm just feeling so fuzzy… Probably because of the lack of blood… And water, yeah, can't forget that one… And _food_… I haven't eaten anything today… only puked. How charming. Roy'd be proud… Damn that man… This just doesn't feel real, nothing's real…

…Roy can't have kept that as a secret… The bastard's lying or I'm asleep… Because Roy wouldn't do that… he cares about me, he trusts in me, he tells me the things I need to know… That was just a strike to make me feel weaker… Then why am I just so angry? Why do I even tremble with a single thought about Roy? Why do I yearn for the coldness of Al's armour instead of his warm arms? Why is all just so unfair at nowadays? Why I don't know who to believe in? Why do I feel so _alone_ all the time..? Nghh, stupid loss of blood… with this speed it won't take long to pass out. Oh how much I just want to pass out… just to stop this stupid _thinking_… I've never been one not to think… I always have _something _going on in my head… Stupid head… Just… just stop it!

Why can't that man just come back and finish me already? It's not like I have anything to live for anyway. Al's gone, Roy's gone, mum's gone, even _father _is gone, not that I'd care about that bastard anyway. If he ever gets the guts to show up I'm going to kill him. If I'm alive when that happens… But he won't come so why would I even plan it..? That's right. Just to mislead my thoughts.

…I hate blood. I hate dark. I hate _thinking_. I've had to do all those things during the darkest moments of my bloody life. Why can't I, just for this one, forget all about it? It would be so much easier not to know all the things I do know… I just want to forget. I know it would hurt and feel like something was missing but then I could _live_. With these memories… it's just impossible. It's impossible to carry on when you have tons of weight on you shoulders. And people just look at you and say 'yeah, go on, you can do it, it's so easy, see?' but they're just so _wrong_. They're just… _wrong_. They don't know what it feels like. They have no idea. They don't know what it feels like to lose everything and be driven forward with… promises, fear of death and all that. Someday legs just need to give up. Someday you just need to fall with no power to get back anymore.

Somehow I feel like that right now. I feel over half dead. I'm just… _trying _to struggle and keep up but I'm not _succeeding_. I'm just not. I just don't have the energy anymore.

Not like I'd have the will either.

It's funny… in a moment like this I can remember all the happy and bad things in my life. I can remember how mum's hair smelled like. How Al's eyes burned when he still had his body. The contents of the human transmutation. How my cheek burned after teacher had slapped me. All the hurt, the pain, the happiness, the hope and just… so many things.

My eyes burn as I think of the hope. It was so long ago… too long ago.

…I'm really feeling… fuzzy…

* * *

"Hands up, Root", Riza snarled as her vision caught the man cleaning his bloody knives. Root smiled and turned to look at her. 

"I guess we meet again, officer."

Riza loaded her gun. "Hands up. _Now_. If you'll give me a reason, I promise I'll kill you. And I'm not hesitating this time."

Breda shook his head. "This is getting macho… Can you handle him Riza?"

Riza nodded. Root stood up with his knife. "If I were you I wouldn't move a step. I'm good at throwing knives. I used to practise it daily", he said calmly to Breda. Riza shot the man's leg and the knife fell as he yelped out of pain and surprise. Riza took the time to kick the knife away and handcuff the man's hands. "Where's Edward?"

The man shrugged and closed his eyes. Riza shook him. "Where the hell is he?!"

"Lieutenant, I'll go and look if I can find him. This isn't going anywhere", Breda said. Riza put the gun against Root's temple.

"You think life sucks? Do you think it that much that you'd let me kill you?" she hissed. Root grunted.

"Why not?" he snarled and tried to hit her with his elbow. Riza shot and watched the man's body fall before her. She didn't even smile.

"…I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore", she said and turned. "Let's find Ed."

Breda sighed. "That's what I've been planning to do since I got here…"

It took them five minutes to find Ed who had been behind all kind of garbage military didn't want to throw away. The boy was lying unconsciously against a metal pipe. The big puddle of blood and the boy's pale frame was what scared them.

"Oh my god!" Riza gasped and checked the pulse. The smell of blood was making her feel nauseous. Even Ed's throat was covered in blood! Well the pulse was there and she could hear his broken breathing. She saw the handcuff.

"Damn it… he's handcuffed!" she growled angrily. Breda stepped closer with and fought with the handcuff for a brief while After that he stepped back and tried to shake Ed gently.

"Wake up, Ed. Wake up."

"How did you open the handcuffs?" Riza asked. Breda shook his head.

"It's a little trick. He isn't waking up. Come on, let's get him to the hospital and inform the others that we've found him", Breda said as he gave up and lifted the limp form over his shoulder, trying not to cause him any more pain, unconscious or not.

* * *

Roy was pretending to be asleep. Luckily it worked perfectly. 

"I know you aren't sleeping, Roppy. Don't do that. Why are you so worried about that kid?"

Well… he really was a terrible liar… Nah, let's say it _almost_ worked. Though that was still far from the truth. Roy sighed and opened his eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be? He's close to me and he's disappeared while there's a maniac wanting to kill him on loose. I'm terrified mum. What if something bad happens? I don't know if I'd be able to move on anymore. He's my responsibility. I screwed up", he babbled, surprising even himself as he noticed how close to tears he was. His mum shook her head.

"He's not your responsibility, Roppy. He's alone, he should take care of himself. Come on, smile a little. Mummy wants a big smile."

Roy shook his head seriously. "You just don't get it. He's like a son to me… has been for quite a while. I feel like a parent. And a parent should take care of his kids. I left mine alone. I promised to come back alright… I even broke that promise…"

"You shouldn't blame yourself on everything", Roy's mum still said with a strong nod. Roy growled.

"You don't understand how important he is to me! Think about it! What if it would be me as Ed and you as me! How'd you feel!? How'd you feel mum?!" Roy bellowed. Roy's mother's eyes shot open.

"But he isn't yours Roy."

"There isn't anyone else left for him either. He's as good as mine." He started biting his fingernails. "And I don't even know if he's alive anymore. It's just so _hard_."

Roy's mum stared at him quite a while before sighing. "Okay Roy. Just go to sleep, he wouldn't want to see you like that. They'll bring him back, that's for sure. You have a good group, you know."

Roy buried his head back in the pillow. "I just hate the fact that I'm just lying here. There must be _something_ I can do… just anything…"

"Sleeping would help him. When they'll bring him back he'll want to see you and it's not fun if you just fall asleep when he gets in your room. Gather some strength. We don't know how long it'll take."

"You'll wake me up when they come back? Will you?"

Roy's mum sighed and nodded again. "Okay Roppy. I'll wake you up. Now just sleep."

* * *

Ed woke up feeling… warm. And comfortable. How amazing. 

…Why was he feeling warm and comfortable? Was this a sick joke!? He opened his eyes slightly and grunted as the bright light managed to blind him briefly. He shook his head tiredly and tried to focus again. He was… in a hospital? When did he get rescued? He didn't remember! Was he starting to have black-outs? He noticed that his left arm was tied up against his chest as the right one lay still limply on his right side. How great, he couldn't even use his hands. And the left one hurt. It really hurt. It broke right? His life _sucked_.

He heard the door creaking and closed his eyes quickly. He wasn't in the mood for talking. Not after all he had gone through in the past 24 hours. Actually it was probably less… or more…. how was he supposed to know when he had been unconscious? The events had been hurting… not only physically, but mentally too. And it hadn't been like he had been exactly _healed_ from the events before either.

He heard steps that stopped in his right side. Okay, keep calm, breathe calmly and the person will go away. Then he'd be alone again. He felt so alone anyway… others were just intruding his silent thoughts and inner pain.

"That almost fooled me, Edward. Almost. I know you're awake, open your eyes."

Nah, not _that_ voice… not now. He didn't want to hear that it was his fault that Roy had died, he didn't want to hear anything that stupid granny wanted to say. He didn't move.

"Come on Edward… I just want to talk to you. Don't be grumpy. I've had enough grumpy people for today."

"'M not talking to you…" Ed finally muttered. He would've squeezed his blankets but his left arm ached from the littlest movements and right arm didn't do anything. So he went with clenching his teeth together and squeezing his eyes even tighter shut. He heard the woman sighing.

"Edward, you know that Roy's fine, do you?"

Ed's eyes almost shot open but he managed to hold back just in time. He felt… anger rising in his chest. Why had he a few seconds ago been so depressed over the man and now that he was alive he was just so furious? Was it because of what the maniac had told him?

"Uhm", he grunted and tried to turn away which he did.

"You're not happy?" she asked sharply. Ed grunted.

"Go to hell."

"Edward, I'm making this very clear-" Roy's mum started but Ed cut her speech.

"Let me guess: if you don't care about my little Roppy, fuck off?" he snarled.

"That wasn't what I'm trying to say Edward", she said. "He cares about you. He's already too attached to you to just kick you off. Every relationship has its ups and downs. You need to get over it. Stop sulking and come to wake Roppy with me. He wants to see you."

Ed shook his head and finally opened his eyelids. Though they were still only halfway open. "I don't want to. He… I just don't want to see him."

"And why's that? He's been worried since he woke up after the attack, Ed. Your behaviour is really insulting."

"I don't have to do anything if I don't want to, and I don't have to tell you my reasons!" he yelled and tried to curl up under his blanket. Rather there than here.

"So you're going to act childish and sink into your self-pity?"

"Get out. I don't want to talk with you. I hate him, OK? He… he made the most horrible mistake he could do. I can't forgive it. I just can't", Ed said and gave up with the blanket-idea. Without using his hands it was impossible and the left one ached even more. He really needed to see Winry soon. Maybe he'd go back to Resembool. …No, he didn't want to go back to Resembool. That's where it all started. That was not a place for him.

"Everything is forgivable if you're just willing to forgive."

"I am not willing! Can't you just go!? I'm in pain already!"

Mrs. Mustang crossed her arms angrily. "And what made you so angry to Roppy?"

Ed snapped. He didn't intend to do it, he just… snapped.

"THAT BASTARD DIDN'T MANAGE TO PUNISH THAT MANIAC FOR KILLING MY BROTHER! HE JUST LET HIM GO! AND HE DIDN'T TELL IT TO ME! HE KEPT IT AS A SECRET! WOULDN'T YOU BE FURIOUS IF SOMEONE HAD KILLED THE PERSON WHO WAS THE CLOSEST TO YOU, WHO WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU HAD LEFT ANYMORE AND THEN GOT OFF WITH IT?! IF ROY'D JUST TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT MY BROTHER BEING ONLY A SOULD STUCKED IN THE ARMOUR BECAUSE OF MY STUPID MISTAKE HE COULD'VE GOTTEN A PUNISHMENT FOR THAT MANIAC! I DON'T CARE IF I'M LOCKED UP IN JAIL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I DON'T CARE IF I'M EXCECUTED OR ANYTHING AS LONG AS THE PERSON WHO MURDERED MY BROTHER GOT A PUNISHMENT! BUT NO! NO, NO AND NO! AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO _HIM_!!!"

He had started crying, but he didn't care. He buried his face in his chest and cried. He waved his head to point the door. "GO TO HELL! I DON'T WANT YOU IN HERE!"

Roy's mum shook her head.

"I understand why you're angry. But just hating my son… trust me, it just makes things worse to you both."

"I DON'T CARE! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

Roy's mum took a wheelchair from the corner of the room. "You have to face things, Edward. You can scream at him too if you want, but just sobbing here won't change things at all."

"I'M NOT COMING! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! GET OUT!"

She positioned her hands on her hips. "You need to calm down now. Think about something else or the nurses will come and drug you with sedatives. Quiet down."

"…I'm not listening to you!" he cried out and tried to hold his tears back. Sedatives didn't sound fun. Roy's mum put him in the wheel chair. It wasn't like Ed could really fight against it in pain and three limbs he couldn't use. Roy's mum started pulling him out of the room.

"I don't want to go, please get me back… I don't want to see him!"

"I'm not going to see Roy depressed all over because of you. Act well or you'll hear about it later."

"You think I care about a word you say!?"

"No. But I don't think your subconscious wants to be furious to Roppy."

"IT DOES-!"

"Quiet down, you'll wake up the patients."

"I don't care!" Ed yelled as Roy's mum pushed him in the room where Roy was sleeping. He went silent as he saw his pale form. Roy had always been pale, but that pale was just… it scared him. He grunted.

"Get me out of here."

Roy's mum shook her head and pushed him closer to Roy before starting to wake him up.

"Don't wake him up! Please!"

Roy grunted and opened his eyes. Roy's mum pointed at Ed who had frozen.

"…Ed…" Roy muttered and smiled he embraced his arms and hugged Ed who was fighting with his instincts. Why couldn't he yell and smash Roy up? Why did he just sit there? Why was he burying his face in the man's chest? Why did he feel bitter but warm?! Was he crying?

"It's okay Ed… It's okay… You're safe and I'm okay, it's alright… Shhh…"

He continued to cry and bit his lip. He just felt so bitter that it hurt over and out.

* * *

You know what? If I manage to do this the way I want it means we have only 2-3 chapters left! I think I've driven the things to the point that I can end it the way I've been planning to end it from the beginning. Though I'm still having problems how to make the last chappy, it gets too long, too short, too blurry, too obvious and all in my mind. Well I still have a little time... 

I know you're still angry for me taking over a week to update and the chappy was mostly a piece of crap but I'd still appreciate if you'd review, you know...


	23. Dance of the deadly depression

I think you'll hate me for this chappy too. And guess what? **One more chappy to go.** Then it'll be finished! I'm so happy but at the same time so sad, I've been writing this for ages. But now it feels like a good time to end it.

Thanks to my reviewers. You're all fantastic!

And at this point I want to thank **E.Mahiru**. Your Parental!RoyEd fics made me fall for their cuteness. Without you I would've never written something like this.

I have to say that I'm actually pretty proud of how this chappy turned out. Anxious.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY**

_**Chapter 23  
**__Dance of the deadly depression_

The next days, maybe even weeks, he couldn't keep track, were blurry and pained. Ed found himself smiling and chatting but at the same time he noticed that he noticed and remembered only about half of the things he had been saying. His head throbbed uncomfortably and his instincts fought against other instincts but he couldn't decide or even if he did he just couldn't change the way things were. Sometimes he didn't even feel the ground and at times he noticed that he totally forgot to breathe. Luckily nobody had noticed anything. He didn't know how he'd ever be able to explain it to others. He couldn't even explain it to himself.

The air in the hospital smelled bad but he didn't notice it very often. He was warm under his comfortable blanket but at times he found himself feeling like he had hard and cold metal over him. No matter where he went, if he even went anywhere, there was a dark shadow over his head. It covered the sun and lights and somehow weighed over his shoulders, making him rest his head to his pillow most of the time. He also slept more and more to escape from the reality but with his nightmares it didn't help that much. He was tired and weak but still he found himself acting cheerful and vivid, making the others a little suspicious. But that was all they were. A little suspicious. Some of them counted it to shock, they thought that it was too much for Ed to be kidnapped again by the person who had killed his brother. They just didn't see that it wasn't that.

He remembered Winry visiting with Mr. Hughes' family the next day he had waked up. He still had no idea how long he'd been out – nobody told him. He assumed it wasn't long but didn't bother to ask anyway. Since that day Winry had visited every day for a few hours. His automail was fixed, at first Winry had seemed like she was going to start yelling but luckily she had bit her lip and got to work without any insults. He wasn't sure if he could take any right now. He hadn't even told Winry about the Lior thing. He hadn't even confirmed that it was true. But something in his killers eyes had told him that it was. He really was a murderer. He found himself sitting hours on his bed without any kind of movement, just trying to deal with all he had found out about himself. But it hurt, he couldn't. And the kidnapper had gotten killed too so there wasn't a good enough punishment for him. He would've been furious if he'd just had the energy. But it was all spend trying to stay awake.

He knew he was on the edge of life. He was swaying from other side to another, the thing repeating itself many times a day. His hands were shaking and it took a lot of his energy to keep his eyes open. His head ached almost non-stop. He was so grumpy but still somehow didn't act like it. He didn't even really know who he was anymore. Everything was slipping away. Sometimes he woke up at morning remembering that it was all years ago. At first he found himself confused and he called for Al before the nurse came in to calm him down. That was usually when the memories struck him again. He always begged for the nurses to never mention it to the others. Which they hadn't done, or if they had everyone of his visitors were good actors.

Sometimes he thought if it just had been better if the others would've known. But he didn't want to end up in a mental hospital either. So tried to keep things quiet.

But of all the things that bothered him, being with Roy was probably the worse thing.

He saw that the man was worried but still happy that Ed was "coping well with the recent things" and "getting better every day." Ed never found himself correcting the man. He sat there smiled, cuddled in Roy's chest asking when they'd get out. And afterwards when he was back in his room he couldn't even remember the answer. Roy laughed and said his memory had worsened. Well maybe it had? He couldn't remember things. He forgot them all too soon. Even his past was blurry and he didn't know how to sharpen his memories.

But maybe his mind was trying to make him forget? It was easier that way, right? But it hurt so much… remembering something but not everything. The good things disappeared first, the bad ones fought to stay clear in his mind. He knew he'd never be able to forget them. And it was those things that he actually _needed_ to forget.

One day Roy asked him what was wrong. He remembered smiling and asking what did he mean. The expression in Roy's face hadn't been pleased. Ed had felt like screaming but he had said that he was sleepy. Soon he had been back in his room, fast asleep. He hadn't woken up until next morning. He had slept almost 24 hours.

The day they left the hospital Ed remembered dozing off on the couch before the dinner had been ready. Roy had waken him up concernedly but he had said it was nothing, just the lack of sleep and tried to convince him not to worry.

He couldn't help feeling bad as he felt Roy's eyes watching over him. He wasn't alone for long after that day.

One night he was resting in his room. Roy was sitting on a chair next to his bed like the old days. It felt annoying and sad. Things just wasn't like before and they'd never be. It always struck him at moments Roy touched him. Even though his arms were comfortably warm his skin felt like freezing on the spots he had touched.

"…Edward, just tell me what's wrong. I know something is. I want to know", he asked gently as he straightened Ed's blankets: a habit he had picked up since he had been able to leave his hospital room and visit Ed himself.

He smiled as he buried his head deeper in the pillow. "I'm just fine Roy. You worry too much."

Roy shook his head. "I don't think I do Ed. Just please, tell me. How am I supposed to help when I don't know what's wrong?"

"Roy… you can't help. You can't change what's happened. You can't make me forget", he said as the smile left his lips and his eyes half closed. "Sometimes our best just isn't enough, you know?"

"It is Ed. We need time."

"…I don't think I have that much time left Roy. Every day is worse. I can't deal with this all" he said and closed his eyes.

"Deal with what Ed? With what?" Roy asked but he was already long asleep.

* * *

Edward woke up many times that night. He knew he'd said too much. Saying things aloud made them feel more real. He was tired and some how shattered in pieces which were lost. He stood up quickly and felt light-headed for a brief while. When it was away he trailed to the kitchen and drank two glasses of fresh water. After that he leaned to the wall and breathed in slowly. His left arm ached, he had probably kept it in an awkward position while he slept. Wouldn't have been the first time. And it wouldn't be the last time.

He threw his golden hair behind his back and grunted. He was so alone. Nobody really managed to get in his world anymore. They might've been around but unfortunately that was it. They didn't really _belong_ in his world. And knowing that made Ed suffer. And when Ed suffered, so did the others too. And he hated it but sometimes it was so hard to hide.

He sat on one of the chairs around the kitchen table without bothering to put the lights on and buried his head in his hands. How long had it been this hard..? Over a week anyway… quite a while… He just couldn't bear with it. Was this depression? And he had thought that he had been depressed already… or maybe the one he had been having before had been depression and this was something that had never gotten a name? He was so tired and sick of living but somehow he still didn't have the energy to kill himself. It would be so easy even now, actually especially at that moment, but no, he couldn't do it. What if there was life after death too? Then he'd be even more depressed. He couldn't exist this way. Not in any form.

He rubbed his eyes. He missed Al so much. He missed the times when there was hope. He missed the times he had things to do. Something to focus on. Now… Well, things were pretty complicated. No, not _pretty _complicated but _extremely _complicated. He was furious for himself for letting the things get that bad. He sighed and started humming silently a song he remembered mum humming. Wow, he actually remembered _something_. Better than nothing. Though the song was sad and he could remember only the melody. He stopped.

"Ed what are you doing up at this time?" he heard a voice behind him. Roy. He sounded tired and worried. Ed smiled sadly and bitterly. That man had made the things this bad and he still hanged around him. And the man cared, that was the most shocking thing. Ed felt Roy hugging him.

"Come on Ed, go back to sleep. You shouldn't be up at this time. You look exhausted."

Ed nodded stiffly and stood up. Roy pulled him closer and stroked his hair from his hairline to his neck as he rocked. Ed closed his eyes and leaned closer. He knew no matter what Roy did it wasn't enough but it didn't stop him for enjoying it. He needed someone to comfort him, no matter if it was enough.

"I know that things are hard for you Ed. But you weren't like that before. Some people might think you're getting better but I see through that. Tell me what's wrong. Please."

Ed didn't answer. After a few minutes Roy sighed and guided him back to the room and covered him with his blankets. He hugged him.

"I won't let you go Ed. You'll see. We'll get over this."

Ed took his hand and looked in his eyes. He didn't know if Roy saw how grateful he was for him being there for him. But he was. Even if it wasn't enough, it was all he was looking forward to anymore. It made him feel like a kid. A kid with innocence. He wasn't innocent anymore after causing the death of so many people but with Roy he felt a bit of it lingering around him.

Roy shook his head and walked out of the room. Ed buried his head deeper to his soft pillow. Roy seemed offended. And sad.

As he drifted to sleep he felt sorry for making Roy sad too.

* * *

Next morning Roy woke Ed up so he could take him to work with him. Ed knew he was worried so he sighed and got read as fast as he could, his mind almost blank. Roy tried to hold his hand as they stepped to the streets but Ed pulled his own away.

"No matter how I am, you are not going to hold my hand on the streets. I'm not three years old", he said calmly and was happy when Roy didn't throw one of his short-jokes. Maybe he knew Ed was on the edge and that would probably make him do something stupid like run under a car. There were plenty driving by them. Ed felt a huge urge to run under one of them but held back. He didn't want Roy to see it. He didn't want Roy to suffer more than he already did.

The streets were crowded and Roy tried to keep Ed closer to him that he actually liked. He grunted a few times to point out that he was uncomfortable or that his left arm ached. Roy always apologized but he did it again. Ed knew he couldn't really blame him, but he still wasn't comfortable with it.

"Roy, stop it, please", he wailed after Roy had bumped to his left arm once again, making it ache uncomfortably. Roy scratched his neck.

"I'm sorry, Ed, I-"

"I know Roy but it hurts." Roy looked ashamed but Ed patted him gently with his automail. "Please don't show me that face."

"You've started to use the word 'please', Ed. It's not like you. I'm worried."

Ed sighed. "You can't be god, no matter how much you try Roy. Nobody can."

Roy shook his head. "I know Ed. I'm not trying to be god, I'm trying to-"

Edward smiled sadly. "…Have you ever thought about giving up?"

Roy took him from his shoulders. Ed's eyes widened as he winced in pain. "Roy..?"

"Edward, you are not giving up. I am not letting you. You can't do that", Roy said angrily. Ed tried to get further away. Roy was scary when he was angry and he had a bad habit of being too rough as he had already noticed.

"Stop it, you're really hurting me!" he said as Roy shook him. Roy froze.

"I'm sorry. I just…. I'm sorry Ed. I don't mean to hurt you, I'm just so worried…"

Ed nodded and moved Roy's arms away from his shoulders. "But you need to get to work."

Roy smiled but Ed saw that his heart wasn't in it too. He felt bad. He didn't want to make Roy worry. And he kept doing it all the time. The man had dark bags under his eyes which revealed his lack of sleep. Ed hung his head as they walked the rest of the way to the Head Quarters.

* * *

Roy was worried. None of the things that the kid kept doing were like him. He was polite and quiet. Just that was alarming but Ed also slept an awful lot but kept waking up at nights and rubbed his temples every now and then. He was depressed, Roy could see it. More depressed than ever. And he didn't even know why.

If he'd just know _why_ Ed was depressed maybe he'd be able to help more! The boy seemed to be so distant at nowadays. He's eyes glazed and went dark, his lowered his head like a misbehaving puppy at times Roy was sad. Roy was scared.

He had hard time making his paperwork as he watched the kid sleep on his couch, whimpering on his sleep. He kept signing paper after paper without really even reading them. He knew he'd probably regret it later but he just couldn't focus. Ed meant so much for him, maybe even more than he was willing to admit even to himself and seeing him drifting away made him want to anchor him somehow but it was like he couldn't find any anchors. It was frustrating.

He signed paper after paper. Paper after paper. Paper after paper. Writing his name again and again and again. His hands were shaking.

Damn it! This wasn't right, he couldn't be losing Ed! He couldn't just sit there signing those bloody papers when his son was slowly withdrawing from others? It wasn't fair. Not for Ed, not for him. Things were just so hard. It isn't an everyday thing to see son dying right in your arms. He hated it. He hated feeling so vulnerable and helpless. He just wanted to help. But his abilities weren't enough. Ed would be like this. He couldn't stop it, he realised. No matter what he did. Ed was too deep. He had been almost a hopeless case in the beginning and now being kidnapped again, reminding him about everything that had happened everything had turned worse. He was beyond Roy's help. He was beyond anyone's help. Roy felt tears in his eyes. This was his own fault. He hadn't taken good enough care of him. He had screwed up. He couldn't even keep a bird alive, how could he keep a child? He blinked to prevent his tears falling.

The world was so wrong.

Ed grunted and opened his half dead eyes. Roy tried to smile.

"How was you're sleep?"

Ed growled and curled up. "It was OK", he said quietly. It was so unlike him again. And his eyes told that he was lying too.

Roy stood up and helped Ed to get up. "It's lunchtime. Let's go and eat something."

Ed nodded stiffly and followed him as he started leading him to the hallways. Ed's steps seemed forced. His hands were shaking more than he had ever seen them shaking. He stopped.

"Roy."

Roy turned to see Ed whose face was drifting in the darkness. "…Why did you never tell me?"

Roy looked at Ed suspiciously. "Tell you about what?"

"You know damn well what!"

Roy's eyes widened. Ed had yelled. He didn't know if it was a step to worse or better. By the look on his face… it was to worse.

"I'm confused Ed. Come here, everyone's looking."

Ed shook his head and Roy saw tears of anger and betrayal in his eyes. "Why did you never tell me about Root? About Liore? Why did you never tell me about _anything_!"

"…Ed…" Roy said fearfully. "…What have you heard?"

"Everything! I know _everything_! I know I'm a murderer, I know that my brother's killer got away with it! I know it all! And I know that you never minded to tell me! I know that you never did anything you could've done to get a punishment for Root! What were you thinking? That I'd be happy to be free and see the killer of my brother running free after a while?! _What were you thinking_?!"

Roy felt a sweat drop on his temple. Everyone was looking and pointing at them. People were gathering around. "Edward, this isn't a place to talk about it. Can you wait until we get home?"

"I'M NOT FUCKING WAITING FOR ANYTHING! I WANT TO KNOW IT _NOW_!" Ed screamed. After that he laughed unhappily. "You just never get it, do you? You know nothing about me, you don't know what's good for me. You've been messing things up from the beginning!"

Roy shook his head. "Ed, please…"

Ed took a few steps closer. "DO YOU THINK I CAN LIVE LIKE THIS? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WANT TO HEAR A WORD YOU SAY ANYMORE? I CAN'T LIVE WITH THESE MEMORIES, I CAN'T, EVERYTHING WOULD BE BETTER IF I'D REMEMBER NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE! NOTHING! BUT I DO REMEMBER! I REMEMBER MY SUFFERING! AND I CAN'T LIVE WITH IT, IT'S TOO MUCH!"

"Edward-!"

"Out of the way!"

Roy saw it like on slow motion. A group of military man ran to the hallway and managed to push Ed accidentally to the stairs. Roy saw as his eyes widened for surprise and as he hit the steps one by one, his automail arm banging to his head badly, leaving blood all over the stairs. The boy was unconscious on the second step he hit. The staircase was long and Roy paled as Ed finally hit the floor, lying motionlessly in a quickly forming puddle of blood.

"EDWARD!" he yelled and rushed after him. The group of soldiers were already gone, except for a few ones that had frozen after seeing the accident. Everyone in the hall were quiet and frozen except for Roy who was checking Ed's pulse and breathing.

"Damn it Ed… You can't die in my arms…" he cried out as he pulled the small form closer to himself. He cried to the teen's bloody hair.

"Someone get an ambulance!"

* * *

I almost hate myself for this. Almost, but not quite. I feel sorry for Roy and Ed though. I want to hug them.

I'll try to get the last chapter up soon but I can't promise when it'll be done because of school and I'm still having a few complications with it in my mind.

And I appreciate reviews. I love them. Over 400 so far, eh? And guess what? It's all thanks to you, people! I love reviews and my days have been amazing when I've gotten so many of them! _It's like heaven!_


	24. Last chance for living

Wow, a few reviewers guessed what was going to happen in the last chappy! I left hints

Thanks to you all, it's been amazing to write this fic. This chappy is dedicated to all of my readers.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY  
**_**Chapter 24**_

_Last chance for living_

Hawkeye was trying to calm Roy down as they waited for news in the waiting room once again. Roy hated it. He had been in the hospital more during the last month than during his whole earlier life. And because of Ed too. It was just so frustrating to be scared to dead over and over again. But this was the worst time. There had been so much blood and Ed's automail must've damaged his head somehow with all that banging. He didn't even know if Ed was going to live with his injuries. And what if he'd get paralyzed? Ed would get so depressed that he couldn't even imagine it anymore… it was way over the line…

"He'll be alright Roy. He's a strong boy. Stairs can't kill him. Not even the military ones."

Roy shook his head. "Maybe stairs are his weakness." He lowered his head. "I'm not on a funny mood. You saw him, don't tell me he'll be just fine. It would be a miracle. And he's never really gotten miracles. Life has been so unfair to him."

Riza tapped his shoulder. "He'll survive Roy. He won't let stairs kill him."

Roy buried his face in his hands. "He will let them kill him Riza, you didn't hear him just before it happened. It's my entire fault. I should've just told him… Then maybe he wouldn't have gotten to carry it for so long all alone…"

"You couldn't have known that he found out about it Roy. And it would've been better if he'd never found out so you did the right thing hiding it."

"I should've known, Riza! I should've known! He was alone with Root for quite a while! Of course he found out about things! And I was too blind to see. I should've _known_, damn it…"

Riza didn't answer as she watched Roy leaning his head back to an uncomfortable looking position.

"It all just comes so quickly, you know. The speed of the things happening is just so quick. I just need to know how he is. I need to see him, I want to talk to him, I want to tell him how much I care about it before he dies… I don't want him to die hating me…"

Riza shook her head. "He doesn't hate you Roy."

"He does. He hates me more than ever. He's always hated me, but know-"

"Listen to me Roy. He doesn't hate you. He loves you. He was just disappointed. That happens all the time with all kinds of people. But the fact that you disappointed him doesn't make him hate you."

Roy rubbed his eyes. "…It's just so hard to think that if he dies his last thoughts were how much he hates me."

The doctor stopped towards them. Roy immediately raised his head. "Do you have news about Ed?"

The doctor nodded. "I'm here to pick up his family. We need to have a private conversation about Edward's status."

Roy stood up. "His family is dead. I'm looking after him."

"Alright then, Mr. Mustang, please follow me."

Roy glanced briefly at Riza before walking after the doctor. Why couldn't they run? He wasn't sure if his legs would've let him but it annoyed him so much to just walk! The doctor led him to a small room with a desk with piles of papers (poor man he immediately thought) and motioned him to sit down which Roy gladly did.

"Is he alive?" he asked. Of course Ed was alive; if he would've died the doctor would've just told him in the waiting room! But he just had to make sure…

The doctor nodded. "He's surviving, yes. He should wake up in several hours. But there are bad news."

Roy shrugged. "…Is he paralyzed..?"

The doctor shook his head. "He was lucky to miss that. Really lucky indeed. But his head was badly injured. He's having a concussion. And then to the more serious part. He managed to injure his brains in a pretty unique way… when he wakes up, I'm afraid he will have no memory from his life before. Absolutely nothing. And those memories shouldn't ever come back."

Roy paled. "…He won't remember… a thing..?"

"I'm sorry. I know it's hard. And we have no idea how he'll react once he wakes up. It'll be all new to him. We aren't sure if he can talk or read or even understand what we're saying. We can't be completely sure if he knows how to move on his own and how to deal with everything."

"…He can't understand what we're saying..?"

"I know it's a shock, sir. But there's still hope that he can, though we can't promise anything. His subconscious should still work and guide him at least a little. He might be able to read when he doesn't really pay attention to how he does it and same with all the other things. He might lean on to people who have been close to him and feel alarmed by the ones he hasn't had good relationship with. He's a whole new case."

Roy rubbed his fingers together. "You're telling me that he doesn't remember anything from his past? Absolutely nothing? And it will never come back to him?"

"I'm afraid so, sir. I know it's hard and you must feel crushed now that you know. I wanted to tell it to you first so you can get used to the idea at first and not start being questioned by others before you're ready. I know it affects all the people around him. And it shouldn't be easy for him either. When he wakes up he's going to need someone to take care of him. Are you willing to be that person to him?"

Roy nodded slowly. "I've been that person to him for quite a while now… Are you sure that he'll never remember?"

The doctor raised his eyebrows slightly. "I'm afraid so, Mr. Mustang. He shouldn't be able to recognize even himself."

Roy moved nervously on his seat. Everything was becoming… well, complicated but still so easy. It was a weird mixture. "You think he'll still act like he used to?"

"We can't be sure about it. Most likely his subconscious will guide him to it but we can't be sure how strongly. Personality comes from memories and he's lost all of his. When he wakes up, he might be like another person."

"…You know, I need to make a few phone calls. Can I use the phone there, please? In private?" he asked. The doctor nodded.

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes. Should I tell the others waiting for news?"

"…Yes. You should tell them."

The doctor nodded and left the room. Roy sighed.

"This plan is better work out… this is the only chance I've got."

* * *

Riza burst in the room after five minutes. "Roy, what are you planning?!"

Roy turned. "You need to wait a second, I'm on the phone. Yes, I need those papers. I need them all ready. What? No, tomorrow isn't fine! I need them today. …Then you need to make it work! I already called the Führer and he has offered to help me in this case. …I don't know? He says Ed was a good alchemist and he wants to keep his eyes on him... Doesn't want him dead… So you'll make it official this evening? Okay? Brilliant. I'll be in the hospital, just bring the papers here when I need to sign them. Alright. Thank you", he said and closed the phone before turning to Riza who was tapping her foot on the floor demandingly.

"What are you planning Roy?" she repeated her question and narrowed her eyes. Roy sighed.

"Sit down lieutenant. I'll tell you because I need your cooperation. I need everyone's cooperation."

Riza sat down and looked at Roy. "You're not planning to tell him about his past life, are you Roy? You're going to keep him in the black. You're not helping him to remember his family."

Roy sighed. "I'm not telling him about his past. I'm not telling about his mother's death, his father's leaving, his brother dying and his failed human transmutation. But it's not like I'm not going to tell him _anything_."

Riza snorted. "You're going to give him wrong information, am I correct?"

Roy nodded. "I'm going to get the papers of Ed's adoption this evening. From then on he'll be my son. Though I won't tell him that he's adopted…"

"How do you explain his 'missing mother'?"

"She left soon after Ed was born. Wasn't mother type. After that there's been just me and him."

"What if he'll go after 'her' and find out that she doesn't exist?"

Roy shook his head. "I'll make sure that he'll have no reason to go after 'her'. I should be able to do that with all your help. We just have to keep him happy and make sure he understands that his 'mother' doesn't want to see us."

"That's cruel Roy. And he doesn't even look like you!"

"He looks just like his 'mother', you get it?" Roy asked suggestively. Riza narrowed her eyes again.

"I don't like this Roy. You're asking everyone to lie to him for the rest of his life. You know that even if we'd want to, it would be unwise to turn back. And you. You've said yourself that you aren't sure if you can take care of him. Making this decision might cause you never becoming the Führer and it'll take a lot of your spare time. Are you sure that you're going to do this?"

Roy nodded. "I will do it. He's worth it. It's for the best of him, Riza. I want him to have a happy life he can live with. It'll be hard for him anyway, knowing that his 'mother' is 'away' and that he has no memory but when he gets used to it and starts making new memories he'll cope with it. This is my way keeping him alive."

Riza sighed. "I understand what you're aiming for Roy, but you do know that if he ever finds out that everything around him is a big lie he can't probably cope with it."

"I know. But that's the risk we must take", Roy said determinately. He hung his head. "It's not like I asked this to happen, Riza. I never wanted this. You think I'm happy for him not remembering anything? He doesn't even remember _me_. He might have a different personality and he might even act like a baby, who knows? But so he can live with this we need to do it too."

Riza nodded. "Lately you've started thinking the best of the others more than yours."

"More like the best of Ed more than mine…" Roy chuckled sadly. "Now we should get in contact with all the people who are close to him. I think we should start with Winry."

Riza shook her head. "She's not going to like this."

"What else can we really expect? Her best friend is severely injured and we're planning to lie to him badly for the rest of his life. I'd be pissed off if someone would do that to my friend", Roy muttered. "Has she gotten informed about the situation?"

"Yes. Fuery called Hughes and Hughes called Winry and his wife. They should be in the hospital now. I think you should go and talk with Winry. I'll deal with the others."

Roy looked at her disbelievingly. "You'll do that?"

She smiled. "You need time to think about good stories for Ed's childhood. And you need to start working with your lying. But Winry should hear it from you."

He nodded. "You're right. She should hear it from me. And you don't want to see which one of you is more dangerous?"

She smiled. "If you think so, I can deal with her and you can go with the others. Your choice, sir."

Roy swallowed. "I'll go with Winry. And I'll learn how to lie. And I can't mess it up that badly, Ed's life depends on it. I'll make it work out."

She nodded. "Alright. But I'll go now. Should I send Miss Winry here?"

Roy smiled sadly. "Yes. Better now than never."

* * *

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Winry screamed. "I don't care if he's lost his memory, you can _not_ lie to him like that! Would Ed appreciate it!? DO YOU THINK HE'D LIKE IT!?"

Roy motioned Winry to quiet down which she did angrily clenching her teeth. "To answer your question: Yes, Ed would appreciate it. He hates to be lied to but he has made sure that he can't live with his memories. He's said it would be easier if he wouldn't remember a thing. And now he doesn't. If we'll tell him he'll probably start feeling guilty again and the circle causes him to make a suicide. This is for the best of him, Winry. And it isn't like we're banning you from seeing him. You'll still be his best friend."

Winry shook her head. "But that means that he'll stay in Central. Now that he's not in the military or looking for the philosopher's stone I wanted him to come back home…"

Roy smiled. "I'll allow him to visit you every now and then when the situation develops. And you can visit him when you want to."

Winry snorted. "You're trying to buy me, aren't you?"

"It's for the best of him. Think about him. Which do you prefer: him making a suicide or him trying to live with the support of the others?"

"Why can't we just make up a story which gets him back to Resembool with granny and me? We're his family!"

"I'm his family too. I've been his father. And he might need to come to checks in the hospital every now and then because of the situation he's currently in. I live pretty close to this one and Central has way better doctors than the ones on the countryside."

Winry sulked. "You're taking him away from us."

"I'm asking you to think about it Winry. Think about it. Will you trust in me with this one?"

"…Yes. I trust in you in this one. But I'm not letting you away with this. I'm going to visit you often so you better make sure there will always be room for me."

Roy snorted. "I guess I don't have another choice."

"You're right on that one", Winry said angrily. "You know that I'll hate myself for lying for him. And I don't want to throw the old pictures of me, Al and Ed away…"

Roy shook his head. "You don't have to. …Though I've got to ask you to hide the ones where he is with his family."

Winry raised her eyebrows. "I don't have to hide the pictures of Al? How are we going to explain him to Ed if he asks?"

Roy scratched his chin. "…We can say that he was a childhood friend too before he moved to Drachma and nobody's heard about him since. Ed and I could've lived in Resembool before my job took us here."

"…Sounds convincing…" she sighed. "I guess I don't really have another option in here."

Roy hugged her. "It's not like any of us have if we think of the best of him."

* * *

Ed had woken up and Roy was walking towards his room. His palms were sweating and he was feeling ill. How would Ed act? What would he be like? Would he be able to lie to him? Was he even ready for this? Everything had been taken care of and the word had spread so it would be bad to say it so Ed had a chance to hear it. He could knock someone out of the military or to the jail if anyone ever managed to let Ed hear.

"Roppy!"

Roy turned and saw his angry mother behind him. "I heard about it. All of it. You can't make your decision this fast."

Roy shook his head. "No, mum. I had to decide now or never. I chose now. You aren't able to change my mind."

"Think about your career, Roy. Think about all of it. It's a major change. I know you've looked after him for quite a while now but really pretending to be his father… That's still a major change. And he might lean on to you. Are you able to do it?"

Roy narrowed his eyes. "You're not telling me to forget about it?"

Mrs. Mustang shook her head. "No. But I need to know that you're _sure_ about your decision. It isn't a one you can change afterwards without damage."

"I know mum. And I'm ready. But he's waiting, so…" he smiled weakly. "I need to go and get to my role."

Mrs. Mustang sighed. "Go. But don't complain to me if you ever get sick of being a parent."

"I won't", Roy said seriously and headed towards the door of Ed's room.

* * *

"…Edward?" Roy asked as he stepped in the room, afraid of what might happen. Ed looked at him fearfully.

"Who are you?" he asked with wide eyes. Well that was a good sign: at least he was able to talk. Roy smiled gently and sat close to Ed's bed but making sure he didn't go too close. It would be too fast.

"I'm your father, Ed. My name is Roy Mustang", he said. Ed looked at him judgingly.

"…It sounds familiar… Who am I?"

"You are my son. Your name is Edward Mustang."

* * *

**FINISHED! **I know that the ending was unfair and it leaves many questions open but I like to leave place to people's imagination. Thanks for everyone who has been reading this fic and special thanks to everyone who have bothered to review! I owe you a lot.


	25. Sequel avaible!

There's a sequel avaible right now called "Swallowed by lies".

Summary[Sequel to Parent's responsibility Ed's personality has changed and Roy's having a hard time accepting it. His drinking habits start coming back and the military notices that with Ed they can pull Roy around. When Hohenheim steps in, they're in a mess.

As you can guess already, it's Parental!RoyEd

http:// /s /4009229 /1 /Swallowedbylies

Take the spaces away and the link shoud work.

Let's take a little preview:

* * *

"It's just that… it'd be a lot easier if I could be like I was. The Edward before was probably liked and loved. But when it comes to me… everything feels like it's forced, you know? Of course they say it's alright but I feel like I'm trying to take someone's place who has died. You can never take a dead person's place", he said slowly.

* * *

You don't have to read this sequel. I don't know how it's going to turn out and if it will be like this story. We'll see about that. This is for those that are interested in this sequel.


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